Cars

Jack Frost

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 378

You deserved it 29 215

Giving and taking

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 10:00

Today, I’m so tired of being there for those who are not there for me. I have one car, you couldn’t pick me up from the mechanics so I wouldn’t need to sit there 6 hours? Yeah roomie, I’ll stop on way home to get your dog some chicken… FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 239

Sorry Dad

By Fail - 04/12/2022 04:00

Today, my dad's car door was frozen shut. As he was in a hurry, he asked me to force it open. When I did so, the door slammed into his back. hard. Now he can barely walk, even with a walker, but he needs to walk in order for it to improve, or else he may become wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 147

Upper middle class issues

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was delivering the HiLux my dad bought for my brother's birthday. At a red light, my bitter ex-girlfriend saw me and threw a roadworks sign at me, breaking the driver's side window. My brother insists I probably did it myself out of jealousy, so our dad is making me pay for the repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 154

Thanks Officer

By Selective Seatbelt Struggle - 01/12/2022 10:00

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 948

The truth always comes out

By DammitMan - 30/11/2022 08:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend. In front of my wife. There was nowhere to run since we were in the car and my Bluetooth feature was on. My girlfriend’s phone had died and unbeknownst to me, she was calling from her mom’s phone, which is why I answered. I'm now walking home. It’s 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 4 321

Traffic stop

By Arrested - 25/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my brother found out that getting pulled over is technically getting arrested. Almost on cue, we got pulled over because my dad doesn't realize that "stop at a Stop sign" doesn't mean "slow down to a crawl, then go." My brother then started yelling, "WE'RE BEING ARRESTED!" At least the cop thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 176

Don't rock the boat

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 00:00

Today, my wife put petrol in my diesel car and ruined the engine, I got a bit upset, but I wasn’t screaming or yelling or anything, but she flew completely off the handle at me at how I was putting all the blame on her and it wasn’t fair. I ended up apologising to her for her mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 421

Baby don't drive my car

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 110

Kinda effed up

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 14:00

Today, and ever since a car accident, I’ve not been able to go to the gym anymore for more than a few minutes without crippling pain. I have a belly for the first time in my life, I can barely breathe without wheezing, and I’m even too unfit for sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 197

It's all too much

By dreams2383 - 11/11/2022 11:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 107

Three's the charm

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 00:00

Today, my car was broken in for a second time in a month and a half, and for the second time it's now Inoperable. I only got it returned from repairs two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 71

Dicknugget!

By 3-wheeler - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 973

You deserved it 4 540

Boozed up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 21:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 186

After the flood

By russty - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 798

You deserved it 2 413

Sorry, I guess…

By NotHelpingAgain - 28/10/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I was fixing something in the back of my truck when a shopping cart sped past me towards traffic. I jumped down to catch it, but it was too late. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone, but a woman and her husband stopped to tell me what an asshole I was. Sorry for trying to save your car from someone else's cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 106

Conjunctivitis

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 22:00

Today, after my naked husband farted in my face because he’s an immature man child who refuses to act his age, this morning I woke up with raging pink eye. I’m half blind and I’m supposed to be taking my driving test this afternoon. I can’t see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 244

Teacher's pet

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 20:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I managed to lose my engagement ring, and damage my car. But that was a cakewalk from what happened later, when a teen student tried to set fire to the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 122

GET OUTTA MY WAY

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 106

You deserved it 5 442

Picky thieves

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 22:00 - United States - University Center

Today, someone stole the catalytic converter off my SUV, as well as multiple tires stacked next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 115

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 394

Road rage

By badidea - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 268

You deserved it 10 262

Fine dining and ball pits don't mix

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 16:00

Today, a nasty brat at the restaurant finally tripped up while running around uncontrollably, and hurt himself. I commented to my wife that "karma finally struck." The brat's mom heard me and threw my keys into the kids' ball pit. It’s been over an hour and even the bar staff can’t find my damn keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 610

Heist

By Bobo - 11/10/2022 10:00

Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 103

Communication breakdown

By keyshame - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 910

You deserved it 6 674

Always have a spare wheel in your car

By Wheel be right back - 30/09/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my dad got a flat tire on the way to work. I got a replacement and texted him, "I have the wheel." For some reason, it got autocorrected to, "I have the weed." My dad then said, "I think we need to talk." I know he's joking and that he knows it was autocorrect trying to ruin my life, but damn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 209

No favors

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 18 409

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 133

Useful idiot

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 094

You deserved it 4 538

Gullible's travels

By Rebecca197 - 21/09/2022 13:30

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 2 720

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 164

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 242

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 114

Today, I picked my baby up from my babysitter's house. As I was getting him ready for bed, I saw blood and immediately went into a panic, rushing to the hospital and trying to contact her to see if my baby fell and she didn't tell me. Turns out it was just hot Cheeto dust mixed with drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 300

You deserved it 1 907

Today, it was time to take graduation cap and gown pics. My cap didn't fit on my head. I'd specifically requested that they make it much larger, but they didn't. When someone tried to force it onto my head, it tore apart. So now I have no graduation cap. I'm so fucking done. Only 2 weeks left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 152

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 608

You deserved it 63 653