All the FMLs

Snaggled

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 379

You deserved it 3 618

Love you too

By Blinken - 15/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma like I do every other day to tell her that I love her, and to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 90

Sounds kinda unhealthy

By ToxicFamily - 15/08/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my brother-in-law is super mean and treats me like shit, but carries his wife on a golden platter. I've literally done more for him the past 10+ years of my marriage than his wife of 3 years. I've taken bank loans, packed countless lunches, washed so much laundry, all while his wife doesn't lift a finger for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 683

Disconnect

By Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 280

Shotgun

By ferrarismyname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 810

You deserved it 23 763

Law and order

By Karen - 15/08/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 101

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 15/08/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 318

A lot to unpack here

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, my crazy cousin copies and buys whatever I buy. Like I bought an electric razor to shave my legs and privates, and she took a photo of it to buy the exact same one for herself for the same reason. In a hospital situation that required her to shave her privates, her husband did it for her as she doesn't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 102

Classic

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I met my new boss and went for a confident handshake. Somehow, we both missed completely and ended up awkwardly grabbing each other’s thumbs. Neither of us corrected it, so we just shook hands like we were in a masonic lodge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 108

Freak out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 460

You deserved it 3 621

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 461

Do my eyes deceive me?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I received the ticket for my upcoming flight. The booking reference code is “CR4SH”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 82

And then I go and spoil it all…

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was ecstatic my autistic son went on a play date. It went wonderfully and my son was happier than he’s ever been. Sadly, the dad was such a damn creep he hit on me every time the kids were out of earshot. I don’t want my son to lose his only friend but the dad makes me so uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 78

Bedlam

By Snow-White - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 991

You deserved it 19 389

Sticky

By Zenoa - 13/08/2025 18:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to work hungover. I was in the back room by myself and thought I could trust a fart. I was so very wrong, and on my own for the next three hours and couldn't go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 450

Nice try, Susan

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 23:00

Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 66

Consumer complaint

By Lolet - 13/08/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, I spent £65 on a pair of jeans after scouring Depop & eBay for hours, only for literally my dream jeans to then pop up in "More recommended" after purchasing, and for a cheaper price and faster shipping, after six hours of searching and spending the last of my paycheck on non-refundable jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 384

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out my “friend” runs several incredibly racist and homophobic Christian nationalist social media blogs. That’s really funny considering that I, a black woman, have been in a relationship with her AND her husband for nearly five years now and wasn’t told any of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 187

Clout chasing

By Samantha - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 483

You deserved it 5 197

The world is a scary place, best be prepared

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 211

Are you OK my dude?

By Hell naw - 13/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 132

Tech report

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, due to a change in our internal system, I set up an email filter at work that sent all incoming messages to spam. My boss had been sending me urgent updates all day, and I only realized when she came over and asked why I’d “gone radio silent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 402

Thanks for the input

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 375

You deserved it 5 629

I hate small talk

By billie - 13/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 437

Not your fault

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 141

Nothing to see here

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to open my bedroom curtains while still in my pajamas, which, in my defense, were just a very oversized T-shirt. I didn’t realize the window cleaners were outside until I heard one of them say, “Morning!” We made prolonged eye contact before I slowly closed the curtains like I was lowering the lid on my own coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 245

Time to change the will

By Ouch - 12/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 103

Scarred for life

By Gabby125 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 4 404

Quality family vacation

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 109

Sending hugs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 03:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 65

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I agreed to care for my girlfriend’s sister's dog. She assured us that the dog was housetrained, but when I got home from work at 07:00 AM my girlfriend was sleeping and there was not only one “accident” but five. This is going to be a fun weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 133

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 680

You deserved it 7 584

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 850

You deserved it 21 218

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 503

You deserved it 21 161

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 788

You deserved it 6 742

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 4 698