All the FMLs

Nostalgia for a time that never existed

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 494

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 27/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I received an office-wide email about our new boss. I meant to forward it to my friend with, “He looks like he eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.” However, I hit "Reply All" instead. Including said new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 806

A blind date in 2025 is brave

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 268

Labs

By shtidsfpa - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Shelby

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 453

You deserved it 56 296

SPEECH! SPEECH!

By Trevone87 - 26/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 305

Truth bombs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 06:00 - Trinidad and Tobago - Arima

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 81

Man flu

By INeedRest - 26/07/2025 09:00 - Germany

Today, whenever I try to rest or I get sick and tell my husband, almost immediately he says he's unwell with the same thing and dumps all the chores on my head. When I have a fever, magically he gets the fever too, then blames me for getting him sick. I really need rest from my chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 105

Always with you

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 73

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 205

Rage against the machine

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I've been working towards a management position at my IT job for 9 years. My boss quit, so I thought, "This is my chance!" Nope, our department got outsourced and now I'm interviewing for my own job on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 65

Inspection time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 669

You deserved it 3 697

Classic recruitment hell

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was rejected from a volunteer position because I "didn't have enough experience." I have a college degree in the specific field they were asking for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 84

I like to (not) move it move it

By vava101 - 25/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 214

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 783

MORE! MORE!

By bursteardrums - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 11 395

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 427

Not now, Alexa

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 345

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 125

Liability

By Josh - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 737

You deserved it 5 963

I'm still hungry

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 476

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 95

How could you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 178

You deserved it 1 088

Help! I need somebody!

By Not John, Paul, George or Ringo - 24/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I tried cutting my own bangs to save money. When I was done, they were so crooked that my roommate thought I’d lost a bet. Now I have to go into work tomorrow looking like a rejected Beatles tribute act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 512

Don't look

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 316

Parklife!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 207

Pranks are evil

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 824

You deserved it 1 664

On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 429

The body keeps the score

By Shitty situation hur hur - 23/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 119

Not even once

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 08:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 610

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 684

You deserved it 30 713

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 291

You deserved it 7 237

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 499

You deserved it 9 827

Today, I re-sat an expensive exam I'd flunked 6 months previously. The same impossible multiple choice questions appeared, which I'd been unable to find the answers to, even with all my textbooks and the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 358

You deserved it 773

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 1 463

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 142

You deserved it 2 863

Today, I had a vulnerable day, which led me to being scammed 2400 dollars, worried about something that a simple Google search and five seconds of reading would've rectified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 185