TheGlow · 13 July 2023, 14:00 ·Philadelphia, United States

It never rains, it pours

Today, I found my street parked car was crashed into overnight and is no longer able to be driven. I just spent $4k getting it fixed so I could sell it, and I only had it with me in the city because the day before someone tried to KIA Boys hack steal the other car I was driving, making that one unable to be driven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715 You deserved it 122

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Thaylok · 13 July 2023, 12:00

High tech scamming

Today, I was contacted from the great beyond by my mother on Facebook. So were most of my family. This occurred within 60 minutes of her passing. Scammers act fast and can even claim that six sons all posting about the death and reporting the account is a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791 You deserved it 101

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GoddamnCat · 13 July 2023, 10:00 ·Carson City, United States

Territorial

Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569 You deserved it 188

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blaaargh · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Seymour, United States

Ass man

Today, my dad uttered the words, "You gotta admit, your mother's got one hell of an ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 586 You deserved it 2 329

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Exhausted · 13 July 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Free market in action

Today, I came in to what was already going to be a long day at work. All of my coworkers no-showed. With them, it probably would've taken about 5-6 hours to get all my work done and go. It took ten hours. My feet hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686 You deserved it 117

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I am puzzled · 13 July 2023, 03:00 ·Vinnytsia, Ukraine

Tech expert anyone?

Today, my laptop has its own likes and dislikes. The cooler keeps spinning crazily, causing loud annoying noise when I use the laptop at my parent's house, and functions perfectly silent at my place. Careful inspection proved full working order. What's going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 519 You deserved it 127

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Anon · 13 July 2023, 00:02

Get it on

Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082 You deserved it 177

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Anonymous · 12 July 2023, 22:00

Customer service

Today, I handed a written complaint to a shop manager about an employee who had used foul language to my teenage daughter. I then watched as he took the complaint to the employee in question, they read it together, laughed, then the manager tore it in half and threw it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 1 076

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Boozehounds

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 921 You deserved it 35 350

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No respect · 12 July 2023, 15:00

Unreasonable demands

Today, I left messages in every neighbors' mailbox telling them to please be quiet at 2, as my daughter was getting married in my backyard. At 2:01 someone started practicing the drums in their garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339 You deserved it 1 280

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WTF · 12 July 2023, 12:00 ·United States

Who are you?

Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 182

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HungerStrike · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Hostivice, Czech Republic

Spice

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832 You deserved it 3 678

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GabrielleB · 12 July 2023, 06:00

Suspicious

Today, I confronted my 32 year-old boyfriend about texting his 17 year-old female coworker. He says they only talk about “work related things and video games” and not about “sex or anything.” What work related things could they be talking about all day and all night long? They work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062 You deserved it 212

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Sorry Sir · 12 July 2023, 03:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Mr Mad

Today, my husband got angry at me, only because I addressed him by his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 12 July 2023, 00:02

Fight club

Today, I had the absolute pleasure of introducing my Karen boss to a Karen customer. The screaming lasted over an hour and I filmed the whole damn thing for laughs. She then docked my pay for not working for that hour, but damn was it worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 725

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Anonymous · 11 July 2023, 22:00

Help! I need somebody!

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819 You deserved it 197

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Gurl · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Dublin, Ireland

Calling all stations

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715 You deserved it 29 190

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Anonymous · 11 July 2023, 18:00 ·United Kingdom

Tracking

Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 11 July 2023, 15:00

Technically correct

Today, my son is a vegan who keeps talking about how Just Stop Oil are technically the good guys. My wife won’t stop crying because she thinks we’ve failed as parents by raising an arsehole. I've had a migraine ever since this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727 You deserved it 340

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Megan · 11 July 2023, 12:00

Thanks dude!

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720 You deserved it 250

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YouAssholes · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Anaheim, United States

Founding father

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fanbase. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they're trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 347 You deserved it 3 892

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done · 11 July 2023, 06:00 ·Calgary, Canada

Delusional

Today, and for the second month in a row, my dad sent our rent money to some chick he’s been talking to, who promised 3 million if he sent dollars for bitcoin. We’re going to get evicted, and I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 103

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Sad grandson · 11 July 2023, 03:00 ·United States

Routine

Today, it's been a month since my grandma passed away. Up until that point, I'd been visiting her regularly to make sure she was doing okay, and to get out of the house for a change. Now that she's gone, I have one less reason to leave the house. My life is even more dull than before. I want to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780 You deserved it 131

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BanaNacakE92 · 10 July 2023, 22:00

Unionize now!

Today, after taking a much-needed mental health week off from work, I discovered I wasn’t on the schedule this week. Turns out, I was fired. Apparently, my absence made things “inconvenient” for my department, since they had to do double work due to my “selfish” PTO usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914 You deserved it 190

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Budapest, Hungary

Go home, you're drunk

Today, my mother-in-law turned up at my doorstep close to midnight, drunk off her tits, crying about how my wife is punishing her and throwing her life away by marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791 You deserved it 1 708

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Anonymous · 10 July 2023, 18:00

Possession

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926 You deserved it 151

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Habits · 10 July 2023, 12:00

Doctor time!

Today, and over the past six months, after 20+ years of habits aiming at not gaining weight and succeeding in doing so, I've suddenly LOST a lot of weight at 40 years-old due to bad circumstances. No matter how hard I try or how much I eat, my system just seems to have forgotten how to build fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618 You deserved it 174

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Anonymous · 10 July 2023, 10:00 ·Germany

Equality

Today, my boyfriend keeps mentioning how well his new job pays, while I don’t have any income. He then got upset when I expected him to pay for the groceries I got on my way to his new place. What I bought was stuff I needed so I could cook for him, and for me to eat while I’m there, cleaning and fixing stuff for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 319

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milly · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Norway

Shame!

Today, my mother commented "Loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787 You deserved it 6 763

149 comments Share

Anonymous · 10 July 2023, 06:00 ·Pakistan

Coming and going

Today, my fiance of 6 years, who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737 You deserved it 313

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