All the FMLs

Tripping

By Blank - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my new step-dad proposed to my mom during a family trip to Wal-Mart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 977

You deserved it 4 246

From beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 27/06/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I realised that my powers of disappointment had reached a new low when my ex sent me a message saying that our friend who passed away two years ago would be very upset with me for how I'm "behaving." So upset that it's also upsetting my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 129

Vergogna! Vergogna!

By Harold - 26/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally shared the pictures about my date with my side chick on my main stories instead of my “Close friends” list, where I'd excluded my girlfriend. I realized this when all my stuff was sitting outside our apartment when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 2 138

Mix up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 226

Cockwomble strikes again

By haveahappyperiod - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 607

You deserved it 4 821

Handle with care

By Frankly - 26/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my dad and two of his hunting buddies started a true crime podcast. It's as bad as you can imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 123

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 14:00 - Israel

Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 300

Hello?

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Aalborg

Today, I found out that my parents forgot to invite me out to eat with them. I found this out when my mom invited my sister right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 97

What's going on?

By Damn - 26/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my dad goes to therapy. Confused, I asked him what was going on. He said, "You" without any hesitation. I don't know if he's joking or not. If he is, I don't find that very funny. If he's not, I don't even know what I've done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 180

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 91

Sketchy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 322

You deserved it 3 472

Step-father, right?

By Marytza - 26/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, it's my daughter’s 18th birthday. Today is also the day that my husband told me he’s leaving me for her, and he wants a divorce. When I threatened to press charges for potentially grooming her as a minor, he told me I don’t have a leg to stand on because, “She’s been at the age of consent anyway.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 186

Time is running out

By Beatriz - 25/06/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, the guys I rejected for being too short or looking too nerdy are both in committed relationships and engaged with their significant others. Meanwhile, it’s been two years and I keep getting ghosted or in situationship after situationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 355

Escapism

By ChemoInReno - 25/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Point Piper

Today, I am still recovering after my second round of chemotherapy. You’d think I’d be able to rest instead of making lunch and dinner for our kids, and cleaning the house. But no, my wife says that would mess up her day. Which is centred around an 8-hour M*A*S*H marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 111

Surveillance

By HiddlePuff - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back, the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 8 375

Buckle up!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant with our third child. This wouldn't be a problem but we only want two kids and I had a vasectomy 6 weeks ago (they take 3 months to be effective). We weren't careful only one time, and since it was difficult to conceive the two we wanted, we didn't think it would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 776

Don't attempt this

By jammy - 25/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 293

Harsh critics

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I lost half my friends and was kicked out of my Star Wars club, all because I said that The Acolyte is unwatchable trash. Apparently that makes me "an alt-right Trump-humper." Whatever that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 174

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 223

Dropped out

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, I lost one of my best friends because he has an insecure girlfriend. He just stopped contact completely out of the blue. Two other close friends died in the last few weeks as well, and I'm so heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 100

Best time

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 900

You deserved it 35 474

Time to run

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 112

Another fine mess

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 22:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 125

Stick to sidewalks

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after my car got stolen and flipped on its roof three months ago, making it an insurance write-off, and getting a new car a week ago, a drunk driver crashed into my parked car, writing it off. In both instances the drivers were thankfully OK, it's just my insurance premiums skyrocketing, no biggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 78

What's going on?

By sexychica - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 935

You deserved it 6 446

JBP fever dream

By Mike0410 - 24/06/2024 16:00 - Romania - Alba Iulia

Today, I went for a picnic by the river in the forest with my grandma. I forgot to bring a swimsuit, and wasn't wearing any underwear either, so she just made me go naked. I got caught fully naked by some dirt bikers when I went to find a spot to pee. My grandma just laughed, really hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 360

I hate my life

By jake - 24/06/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, while working a grueling shift where I wanted to just die, my ex-girlfriend, her friend, and some permed up rich boys pulled to the drive-thru, blasting music and overall being a nuisance. One of her boyfriends pretended to put money in the tip jar, then went, “SIKE!” and they sped off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 111

Love me do

By Lonely and Fattie - 24/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, yet another guy friend-zoned me for being overweight when I asked him to hang out. I have Hashimoto's disease and it’s really hard for me to lose weight. I eat decently and take 20 minute walks daily. I wish I could go to an island where less superficial jerks lived so I can have a chance at love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 384

Focus!

By get a job - 24/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I aren't speaking. He wanted to stay up late to "look for jobs", so I went to bed. An hour later, I was awoken to him screaming. When I ran in to see what was going on, he had a video game open. I shouldn't be mad at him because it was a "mega rare drop", he insists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 156

Blue Monday

By Lesor - 24/06/2024 06:00 - Vietnam

Today, I want to quit my job so so much. My coworker stresses me out, I have a panic attack every time she calls me. I don't know anything, but it's because I haven't ever done this job before. Why can't she just show me the way instead of being so mean like that? I have trauma from working with this bitch for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 229

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 3 239

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 588

You deserved it 534

This is a handy companion to our last video...

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 228

Today, my ex, who I'm still love with, told me he's engaged. We weren't together for long because he didn't want a committed relationship. Guess it was just me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 247

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 426

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 109