Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
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Top comments
kewlaidman10 15
Sounds like a crazy ass boss
usnwife 18
Maybe a polite knock before sneaking into your bosses office? I'd be pissed too if someone slipped in and just stood there! But I do have to admit he sounds a little off for talking to himself like that...
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Comments (67)
MonGuillaume 2
FIRST!!!
kewlaidman10 15
Sounds like a crazy ass boss
CareFace 16
Or lazy ass workers. :P
msjoyfull84 0
Sounds like shitty employees.
upyourzlolz 11
Sounds like a shitty office.
littletinyME 5
I always find myself asking'Crazy person, or headset?'
xcarxcrashx 9
Do the Creep!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Hahhhh! Now do the creep!
angrymexican 8
That's exactly what he said.
xcarxcrashx 9
Why all the thumbs down to 11? Her response was 100% appropriate lol.
ladyLALAA 29
I'd say because she said the same thing as you, on the same thread and 10minutes later Haha
thinkPlNK 0
21 - no, if you listen to the actual song, what 11 said is what comes next.
ThisIsMyReign 4
21 - I believe you mean that's what she said.
ChadAvreySchilli 0
"do the creep! Hahhhh. Do the creep!" Seriously y'all look it up ^ make fun of the y'all in any inbreed or grammatical or so help you god...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
To answer 23- the FML community are a fickle bunch... with a stranger sense of humour than Hitler, it would seem.
whyarepeopledumb 2
37-I'm still trying to figure out what the second part of your post said. Haz any of y'all done find it out yet?
tehdarkness 21
Come back later next time!
IAdminIFlow 0
Oh shit that's crazy OP.
usnwife 18
Maybe a polite knock before sneaking into your bosses office? I'd be pissed too if someone slipped in and just stood there! But I do have to admit he sounds a little off for talking to himself like that...
xcarxcrashx 9
Agreed, even if he was on the phone it is still rude to stand like a creeper YDI op
SupahAsian 4
It's not his fault, some people just can't control their Ninja Syndrome.
Brandi_Faith 34
Exactly what I was going to say!! All the more reason to stay out of his office if he's on the phone! His phone calls are personal and if he thought you should hear it chances are you'd get a confrence call. Sorry it happened and that he flipped on you, but ydi.
bri5083 9
You should've seen that one coming. A safety knock would've been best too..
CassieMarieee 7
Horrible Bosses material.
21jason 9
You should have joined in the conversation..he probably would have thought it was the voices in his head again though
Furrywhiplash 14
That would be a good thing if he thought it was the voices in his head, then OP could have talked about how he deserves a promotion.
metallicshadow 16
next time have your phone or something and record at least his voice
DocBastard 40
Who the hell "slips in" to his bosses office? Especially when he's ranting about his employees? He probably thought you were eavesdropping and trying to gather some office dirt. I guarantee you that the first thing he did after you slunk out of there with your tail between your legs was to try to figure out exactly what he needs to do to fire you.
DocBastard 40
legs* Sorry.
MrSassypants 34
Hire himself as manager for he won't have to go through with firing him.
Brandi_Faith 34
There he is!! Docbastard with the perfect opinion and beautiful comment! Everything I want to say, only said in a more sarcastic, humorous, and gorgeously poetic way!! Good day to you my incredible sir. ;)
downtime 13
13, That would make him a crappy employer. "You did something I didn't like, now im going to find a way to fire you" is the mindset of a petty individual who doesn't belong at the head of any business or department.