Transportation: Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed,...

By lorb101 - Australia - Mount Waverley

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

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lorb101 tells us more :

I booked in next week to get it looked at- hopefully it behaves until then!! It just gets super awkward because I'm a 22 year old female and so not the usual candidate for a cheeky drive by beeping!! Thanks for all your concern guys!! Xxx

Transportation

Understandable

Messed up

Kitchen nightmares

By SenescentSouthernBoy - United States

Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML

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By samba_spaz - United States - Los Angeles

Groove is in the Heart

Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML

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By cutthroatkait - United States

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

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By RoastedbyNature

Basted High School

Today, my high school decided to practice graduation outside for 4 hours instead of inside, as well as serve lunch outside. Now everybody, including myself, is going to be sunburnt in their graduation pictures, because we were told practice was inside. FML

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By VibeCheck - 10/3/2020 07:57

Hangover blues

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

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By to_complicated_4_u - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

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By thatguy - United States

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

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By rongo12

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Wooster

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

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By shit's weak - United States

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

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By RetailScapegoat

Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

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By ohsosad - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

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By FMyThroat - Peru - Lima

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

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By ohhi_itsme123 - United States

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

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By fukinlonely - United Kingdom

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

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By kacie smith - United States - Youngsville

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

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By americanbln - United States

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML

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By huj - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

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By Chiiii

Today, I got home from working abroad for 8 months and opened my post. I'm being taken to court over 3 parking tickets my mum didn't tell me she'd gotten using my car. If we lose, my credit score is affected for 6 years. FML

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By Oopsie - United States - Saint Albans

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

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By 19kwhatever - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

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By Qwerty - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/7/2020 23:01

Like the beginning of a porno

Today, my girlfriends dared me to answer the door naked to the cute pizza delivery guy. He laughed it off and thanked me for the awesome tip. An hour later, police arrived because my nosy, frigid, couldn’t-get-laid-in-a-brothel neighbour reported me for public indecency. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

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By Cashier - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

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By AshlynnPrime - United States - Owensboro

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I tried to change my usually stoic behaviour and be friendly to a coworker. Now she is convinced that I finally went insane and intend to murder her. FML

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By notsoskinny - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML

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By LonnyLonnikins - Canada

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

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By EconM - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

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By bdiddy - United States

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

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By Ihatemyfamily - United States - Euless

Today, my brother's high school was having a soccer game against mine, and as a sign of good luck, I told him to "break a leg". He broke mine. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

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Top comments

By Nescology | 11

#6277404 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:43

Take it back to them and explain. Hopefully you won't get too many dirty looks :)

By FlyingLeumer | 19

#6277415 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:46

They may have messed up on the wiring when fixing the other problems. If you go back in, I'm sure they would be happy to fix it!

COMMENTS

By Nescology | 11

#6277404 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:43

Take it back to them and explain. Hopefully you won't get too many dirty looks :)

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6277521 - Thursday 30 April 2015 2:24

At least you weren't pranked where the horn was connected to the brake pedal...

Martnikk | 15

#6277871 - Thursday 30 April 2015 11:44

#22 did that happen to you?

sureshadow | 23

#6278184 - Thursday 30 April 2015 20:24

Poor poor Richard.

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6278185 - Thursday 30 April 2015 20:24

#42, no, but I saw a YouTube video of it. It's hilarious...

By FlyingLeumer | 19

#6277415 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:46

They may have messed up on the wiring when fixing the other problems. If you go back in, I'm sure they would be happy to fix it!

By Madsun11 | 14

#6277416 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:46

Surprised you haven't gotten killed yet.

DropTheDaggerxx | 31

#6277629 - Thursday 30 April 2015 4:53

Same here! A while ago, in my state, this old man's road rage was so extreme that he bumped into the car of the driver he was angry with to get them to pull over, then grabbed a crossbow from his backseat and shot the driver with it. The guy was angry because the other driver had flashed his high beams at him.

Hoping your fate will be better, OP! Fingers crossed you can get it fixed soon.

missambitious | 21

#6277711 - Thursday 30 April 2015 7:09

@31 OMG! That is so creepy and messed up. What state do you live in, if you don't mind me asking?

DropTheDaggerxx | 31

#6278515 - Friday 1 May 2015 4:50

@37 Massachusetts! We're just living up to the "Masshole" name, I guess.

By Ewexz | 17

#6277419 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:47

Heh, that sucks. I would hate to meet you on the road OP! Road rage.

By Meepson | 9

#6277432 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:49

Oh, I thought you were going to say it looked like you were jerking off trying to disable the horn...

By bgreen1111 | 16

#6277433 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:50

Well, have fun "bird" watching!

By nhbasskid13 | 23

#6277438 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:55

you're just honking at the mechanic for fucking up your car, right?

By odamaliekh | 26

#6277439 - Thursday 30 April 2015 0:56

Go back and explain them what happened, they'll fix it.
Until then, disable the horn. It's usually pretty simple, just disconnect the wires:) if you don't know which ones it is or can't find them, Google it. There's probably a manual online:) Good luck OP!

By patrickalamo | 47

#6277445 - Thursday 30 April 2015 1:01

Disconnect the wire to the horn...

By abbyade | 21

#6277452 - Thursday 30 April 2015 1:08

That must be such a pain in the ass. I hope you get it sorted.