IAmJenny96

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Newark, USA
32 years-old
Thursday 03 March 1994
In a relationship

About Iamjenny96

FML....Just FML...

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50 favorites

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The list of badges to find

Iamjenny96's favorite FMLs

By moodyreallyrocks - 09/07/2012 00:30 - United States - Mayfield

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 964

You deserved it 2 943

By wetandnaked - 09/07/2012 07:06 - United States - San Bernardino

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 636

You deserved it 3 275

wetandnaked tells us more.

wetandnaked 4

Thursday 12 July 2012 8:27

OP here: Doctor says it's most likely due to the low blood pressure I didn't know I had prior to that visit. He suggested I include more salt in my diet, and that's about it. Also, I woke up with a towel draped over me, I'm definitely female, and no, the soap didn't smell like chloroform hahaha.

Hormonal

By LNamesOnly - 09/07/2012 07:31 - Australia

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 695

You deserved it 4 201

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Goteborg

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 375

You deserved it 37 987

By Nofriends - 09/07/2012 11:44 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 447

You deserved it 25 172

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 12 180

Big brain bug

By Anonymous - 09/07/2012 20:15 - Canada

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 197

You deserved it 25 378

By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 105

You deserved it 61 332

Wake up

By idiot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 231

You deserved it 23 845

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 092

You deserved it 3 430

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 001

You deserved it 29 211

Where to now?

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 05:55 - United States

Today, I was finally leaving my hometown to live in my dream city. Everything was packed, keys were handed in, goodbyes were made. The moment my truck began pulling out to get underway, the guy I'd gotten a room from in my new city called to inform me that he'd decided to rent to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 785

You deserved it 2 230

By Username - 10/07/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 211

You deserved it 9 397

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:06 - United States

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 8 384

By eggmarie - 10/07/2012 16:12 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 449

You deserved it 4 030

eggmarie tells us more.

eggmarie 25

Wednesday 11 July 2012 7:12

Going to answer major questions here: I'm a college kid. I live alone and have a small fridge. I shop at Walmart with coupons and that's how I managed to fill my fridge on $100. I have AEP and the power was on for a bit before it went back off (not enough time for the fridge to get cold again) so I assumed I was okay. Apparently it was a "test run" I borrowed coolers from family and got some ice. I just moved here a few weeks ago and haven't met many new people so I'm stuck at my house. Thank you for the well wishes and crossing my fingers that it's back sooner than anticipated!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada