sabrinalaynn

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About Sabrinalaynn

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50 favorites

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100 kick-ass comments

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Sabrinalaynn's favorite FMLs

David Attenborough

By types - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 745

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 15:54 - United States

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 347

You deserved it 3 735

By scaredshitless - 03/03/2012 13:55 - Finland

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 221

You deserved it 10 753

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 4 411

By stuff2710 - 05/03/2012 00:27 - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 432

You deserved it 48 099

Ooooommmmmmmm

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 220

You deserved it 2 205

By Kayla - 06/03/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 871

You deserved it 8 582

By goldfish - 06/03/2012 02:47 - Canada

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 3 908

Charming

By FootyFoot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 874

You deserved it 3 280

Bad customer service moment

By beernuts - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customer's basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 2 305

By biggirlsdocry - 06/03/2012 13:56 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 345

You deserved it 4 734

By sdk2010 - 06/03/2012 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 531

You deserved it 2 272

By Anonymous - 06/03/2012 19:54 - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 652

You deserved it 22 499

Owned

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 8 year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 460

You deserved it 36 999

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 059

You deserved it 3 385

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 221

You deserved it 56 716

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 989

You deserved it 7 591

AAARGH

By lanu - 13/03/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 217

You deserved it 2 592

By lovefortoday - 13/03/2012 16:50 - United States

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 616

You deserved it 3 864

lovefortoday tells us more.

lovefortoday 14

Wednesday 14 March 2012 13:24

It was the one on my left wrist of a butterfly and flowers. The other one is a dolphin and flowers. I was unaware that butterflies and dolphins where evil. They were for my Mom and Step-Mom.

By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 336

You deserved it 3 740