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Bitter

By Oshi - 02/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 545

You have been warned

By stay away from my balls! - 16/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 138

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 09:00 - United - Pittsburgh

Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 64

Bigfoot

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 15:00

Today, I went for a walk in my brand new shoes that I bought around four days ago. I've always had problems walking on my right foot and when I was younger we couldn't buy Payless shoes as they'd be torn to pieces within a month. The left shoe felt perfectly fine; the right one feels like it's already disintegrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 86

On the spot

By Sketchychick - 17/10/2025 09:00

Today, during my first day at my new job, my manager told everyone to “share one fun fact about yourself.” I panicked and blurted out, “I once accidentally washed my passport.” Everyone laughed, which was fine until my boss said, “So that’s why your background check is taking so long?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 75

The soothsayer

By mustanggt - 23/03/2026 12:00

Today, we had a field trip to the local theme park. As I explained the safety rules, one of the students piped up with, "Yeah, I'm ditching you. Y'all are going to be the ones puking your guts up all over the place." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 100

Cue "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads

By Disoriented - 30/05/2026 15:00 - Germany

Today, my life is moving too fast. Just yesterday I was at college earning a small stipend, which felt like i could buy the world with. Suddenly, I'm married, with kids, and a house, and a negative balance the day after receiving my salary, just because my kids needed new shoes for school. How did I get here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 225

Lock your doors

By Semi-pro - 19/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I had a scholarship interview video call. I spent an hour making my room look smart. A minute in, my little brother walked in behind me wearing a cape and carrying a spoon like a mic. I smiled through the interview whilst he proclaimed, “Welcome to my show!” and did a spin in the background. They asked follow-up questions, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 94

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 122

Late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 00:00

Today, I helped pay my mom's monthly electric and gas bill so she wouldn't have it shut off, since the company wouldn't accept her specific kind of card as payment, and the cash advance they could get was for less than half of the amount. Yes, I double-checked it wasn't a scam. It was for nearly $280 and I'm on SSI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 94

Bad hair day

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went all out for my kids’ crazy hair day at school. I’m talking hair dye, liberty spikes, accessories, the whole nine. I was super proud of myself and the kids were ecstatic! That is until we showed up and realized that today was pajama day. Crazy hair day is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 203

Well well well…

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 09:00

Today, my ex-wife's kids, who I dumped alongside her and completely cut ties with when I found out they weren't mine, found me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 412

Fungus

By Yak - 12/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 80

Politeness gone wrong

By Roadrage2025 - 26/12/2025 15:00

Today, I let someone merge in traffic. They waved, merged, then immediately braked to make a turn, causing me to slam on the brakes and spill coffee all over myself. They waved again, like that fixed everything. I arrived at work sticky, caffeinated, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 149

It's just a vibe thing

By Cuckolded by tech - 08/02/2026 22:00

Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 147

Good meeting you

By MOM!!!! - 27/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I joined an online meeting from my bedroom and made sure the background looked tidy. About twenty minutes in, my mother walked in behind me carrying a laundry basket and shouted, “Where did you put my bras?” The meeting was with my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 101

I'm really tired, chief

By sleepy and ill - 06/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my dad now insists I HAVE to be up at 7 am every day. I explained that even after waking up at 7 am for months, my body still couldn’t fall asleep earlier and I stayed chronically sleep deprived. He thinks I’m lying because, “No one’s body works like that.” I’m 30 and can’t move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 134

Bad news likes company

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 169

Not the only the only thing that's empty

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 134

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

By Mike - 14/05/2026 03:00 - Norway - Oppdal

Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 81

All planned out

By Annoyed - 04/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, after I'd spent ages planning a surprise proposal at the beach, right as I got down on one knee, a seagull swooped in, stole the sandwich from my backpack, and everyone on the beach turned to watch the bird instead of us. My partner had to ask, "Were you about to propose?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 106

This time it's personal

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am completely mortified. At my father-in-law's funeral, my husband put a bottle of beer on the coffin and announced to the room his dad was such a tight-fisted sod, it was the first drink he’d ever had on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 112

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I set practically ten alarms because I absolutely could not oversleep for an important appointment. I woke up two hours early, panicked that I'd missed it, and couldn't fall back asleep. I spent the entire appointment looking like I hadn't slept at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 110

Gassy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 00:00

Today, as I was walking out of my building that I have just moved into to walk my dog, a kind neighbour held the door open for us. Just as I walking walking though, I let out the loudest stinkiest fart in history (thanks fertility meds). I guess I’ll have too move out now… FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 168

Boom boom boom

By Crotch goblins ruin everything! - 16/02/2026 20:00

Today, I got a new upstairs neighbor, a fucking breeder with three brats and a screeching newborn. They’ve barely started moving in their shit and I can hear the howls already. It’s not fair to put them in upstairs apartments above people just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 619

Dope

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 03:00

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 162

Not my problem

By AlreadyFullPlate - 27/06/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband is mad at me. Why? The family from his brother's wife's side isn't lifting a finger to help during her pregnancy. Observing this, I informed him that I would not be supporting her post-delivery, as my job and my kids are my priority. He thinks I offended him and his family for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 119

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 136

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Taunton

Today, I realized I've fallen for my best friend. Private conversations suggest she feels the same, but around others she dismisses love as "stupid". I don't want things to become awkward, but I feel like I should walk away instead of burying my feelings to maintain the friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 123

Call the doctor

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to go to bed on time, complete with going to the bathroom and not eating several hours before bed. I dunno why but for some strange reason I was woken up by my own flatulence. Again. I hadn't eaten several hours before bed to prevent this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 94

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 60

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 583

You deserved it 3 397

Random

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 930

You deserved it 2 790

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 955

You deserved it 10 877

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 170

You deserved it 2 892

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 4 889

Today, I was sitting down to do my homework when I severely sprained my ankle. I live on the third floor and can’t walk far without severe pain, and I'm broke, so a compression bandage is out of the question. I can’t wait until the first of the month when I get paid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 155

Today, one of my friends got me in trouble when he called our house and asked my parents why they didn't see us at a school conference. My parents were at a meeting elsewhere at the time, so I didn't bother to tell them about it, as we couldn't have gone there to begin with, and it was voluntary. They're mad anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 205