Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML
Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
Today, my daughter told me that now that she's a Christian, I can no longer see my grandchildren unless I repent from my "homosexual lifestyle." FML
Today, I contacted my ex asking him to please sign away his parental rights so that my husband could legally adopt my son. My ex hasn’t seen my son in nearly 10 years and wants nothing to do with him. However, he won’t sign because in his exact words, “You don’t deserve happiness.” FML
Today, I caught my neighbor peeping through his toilet window to watch my sister bathing in our bathroom. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was doing what he always does when my sister is bathing. FML
Today, all of my friends and family have ostracized me, and no one is willing to talk to me about anything, because I gave my baby up for adoption after my husband died. Nobody understands that I'm not cut out to be a single mom. FML.
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I found out that my (amazing) adoptive parents are going to be investigated by CPS and no one's telling me why. I'm terrified I'm going to be taken away and end up back in foster care again. FML
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, not only did my deadbeat brother mooch off me for six months, wreck my car, and screw my wife, he just successfully sued me for the medical bills he incurred when I caught them and beat him within an inch of his life. Twelve fucking grand in debt. I should have just stabbed him. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML
Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML
Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML
Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML
Today, my dad’s in hospice, my son was diagnosed with a second rare disease, my wife is unemployed with alcohol and depression issues, to the extent of having ruined our marriage by driving us into bankruptcy. I have high blood pressure and quite honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack with all this. FML
Today, my husband confessed to cheating but then tried to turn it around on me. Apparently, because I wasn’t regularly checking his phone, it must mean I don’t really care about him or I’d have caught him months ago. Sorry for trusting my husband I suppose, geez. FML
Today, I lost my custody battle and I have to return my grandchildren to my disowned daughter, who was allowing her now ex-husband to abuse them. I can't appeal or anything because frankly we don't have the funds. I wish I'd never had her. FML
Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML
Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees, and her cruise ship fee. FML
Today, my 37 year-old fiance is calling off our wedding for a 21 year-old woman from Colombia he’s been talking to online. He’s gonna marry her and bring her to the US. He’s been using ChatGPT to speak with her in Spanish. I’ve spent over $5000 on our wedding and was picking up my dress next week. FML
Today, I missed my daughter’s engagement because her cousin has a crush on her and was planning to ruin it. So while my daughter was agreeing to get married, my sister and I were in the car park with the jealous little shit in a headlock, whilst screaming that he loved her and that it’s not fair. He’s 27. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML
Today, my pathetic wannabe influencer sister would not stop recording my kids, even though they and I told her not to. I finally snapped and smashed her phone and now she's threatening to press charges, and our parents are on her side. My kids are scared that they're going to be taken away from me. FML
Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend refer to me as a “pretty but dumb chick” because I like horror movies and comedies over his boring pseudo intellectual dramas. I literally have two degrees and I'm working on a third, while he has neither, yet he thinks he’s smarter than me because of movies. FML
Today, I dumped my fiance because his grandma, who raised him since birth, died and I overheard him making it clear that all he cared about was her inheritance. I thought he was my soulmate, but I can't be married to somebody like that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how she got the scars on her legs. I'd assumed they were self-harm scars. Nope, apparently getting sliced up turns her on, and if I want a good sex life, I'd better get used to cutting her thighs with a razor. FML
Today, my mom got angry that I won't give her the funds necessary to send my little brother to military school. She wants to send him because he caught her cheating on our dad and punched her in the face. FML
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