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Can't take my eyes off you

By Pauly - 26/12/2025 22:00

Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 508

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 137

Loner

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 15:00

Today, I broke it off with all of my friends with benefits. Why? Because I have grown attached to a fictional character, and I like him a lot more than any IRL person. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 567

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 022

No situational awareness

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to take a cute selfie in front of a café window. I didn’t realize there were people inside, specifically the café staff, who were watching see me posing, pouting, and flipping my hair for a full two minutes. When I finally realised they were there, they gave me the thumbs up while imitating my poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 780

Check where you're posting

By Lauren - 18/01/2026 09:00

Today, I typed a vulnerable “I miss you” text to my ex at 1 a.m., stared at it, and meant to delete it. Instead I hit send… to our old family group chat, which still had his mother and my aunt in it. My phone blew up with dumb sympathy, a single eggplant emoji from my cousin, and a lecture from his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 498

Keep it professional

By Heather and her dog - 30/03/2026 22:00

Today, during an important Zoom meeting, I insisted my dog was calm and well-behaved. To prove it, I picked him up. He immediately sneezed directly into my open mouth while my camera was on and my boss was speaking. Everyone saw and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 492

Breeder

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 03:00

Today, hoping to earn some extra cash, I spent a fortune on a purebred pit bull so I could breed her. To my horror, the ad lied about her and she had already been spayed. When I tried to contact the seller to get my money back, they just replied, “Serves you right, backyard breeder” and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 125

Let them eat cake

By Anonymous - 19/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I brought a “safe” store-bought cake to a potluck and dropped it on the sidewalk while getting out of the car. I showed up anyway, carrying the box like it was still fine. It was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 303

Wrong move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 12:00

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 668

He has a point

By I'll stop being "bitter" when my life stops sucking - 29/04/2026 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 107

Student becomes the Master

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my kids off for some misbehaviour when my wife chimed in that in all honestly, they were just behaving like I do most days. I had zero defence to that because it’s true. I've now got a wife and three kids who won’t stop mocking me FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 556

Insecure

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to a huge man cleaning my kitchen. I demanded to know who the hell he was and It turned out that he’s the “maid” my wife hired after I told her that if she wanted help cleaning the house, then we could just hire some. His name is Ted and she’s refusing to get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 730

What are your unpopular opinions?

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, during a work diversity seminar, everyone was asked to share “one unpopular opinion.” Thinking it would be funny, I admitted I actually enjoy replying-all to unnecessary company emails because I like the chaos. Nobody laughed. HR asked to “have a quick chat” afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 481

Are you OK?

By LisaP - 25/09/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up a prescription and the pharmacist asked for my date of birth. I gave it, then realized I had given her my dog's date of birth. I know it because it's written on his vaccination card. I had nothing else prepared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 286

Slackers

By Sneaky - 13/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to sneak out of work 15 minutes early. Just as I reached the exit, the fire alarm went off. Everyone had to evacuate, and my manager spotted me standing outside with my backpack already on. There went my excuse… FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 399

I'm never going outside again

By Cringed to death - 15/12/2025 20:00

Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 395

Worst dating advice ever

By desperatelyseeking - 03/03/2026 22:00

Today, I started ordering food on Uber Eats, hoping to meet a cute delivery girl and start a conversation. I got deliveries from "Stacey", "Pamela", and "Julie." All three of them were men who spoke poor English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 830

Single and desperate

By Jenni - 29/01/2026 03:00

Today, I realized how single I truly am when I blurted out "Yes!" as soon as the priest asked the bride, "Do you take this man…" The bride was my sister and you could hear a pin drop after I blurted it out before she had a chance to respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 554

Impulse purchase

By Gary - 17/01/2026 03:00

Today, I wanted a Stranger Things flashlight, but I saw they were out of stock at Target so I ordered one on Mercari. The Target website later got more in, so I paid double the original price with shipping included. I’m done online shopping for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 483

Reality check

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I posted a video about why men should never date a woman who has a bad relationship with her father. The first comment was from my ex saying, “Errm didn’t both your parents dump your ass in foster care?” It got more than a thousand likes before I turned off comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 720

Plans for the weekend?

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was supposed to go on a trip with her sister, so I came over for the weekend while she was gone. She came home saying she’s not going anymore because her sister cancelled. I had to wait inside a hot closet for 4 hours hungry as fuck until I could escape when she was showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 173

No more bring your kids to work days

By BadMom - 01/04/2026 22:00

Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 618

Busted grid

By Tenant - 18/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Quebec

Today, my cat knocked my phone into the bathtub. I grabbed it, dried it, and put it on the charger without thinking. Five minutes later, the bathroom lights went out and my landlord texted me asking why the fuses had tripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 419

Baby daddy drama

By please love me - 03/04/2026 22:00

Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 113

What will people think?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 686

I'm confuddled

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 03:00

Today, I once again tried to purchase a membership for a hiking adventure club. I ended up purchasing the same annual membership for the third time. They have already helped me recover my funds once. These people are never going to want to go hiking with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 452

Not enough RAM

By Chris - 04/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I got a notification that my package had been delivered. I searched my porch, checked with my neighbors, and even contacted customer support. It was sitting in my car's trunk because I'd picked it up from a parcel locker yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 422

The truth bomb

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I found out that my son didn’t have to work over Christmas because he "didn’t have enough seniority to get time off." He actually volunteered so that he didn’t have to spend the holiday with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 438

Planning

By girlboss - 05/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I bought an expensive notebook because I wanted to become the kind of person who plans everything. On the first page, I carefully wrote my goals, habits, and schedule. I haven't opened it since. It is now the most organized thing I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 266

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The Top

Random

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 057

You deserved it 3 633

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 276

You deserved it 9 712

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 669

You deserved it 4 460

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 9 171

Today, a customer left their shopping cart behind their car and backed into it. She then came inside and threatened to sue me personally for not sending someone to collect it from where she left it. After 5 minutes of her yelling, I finally got a word in edgeways: I don't work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 310

You deserved it 362

Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 303