The Top

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Boo!

By ringring - 19/07/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I sat through a dentist's appointment convinced my phone was on silent. It was not. My (loud) ringtone went off at the worst possible moment, the dentist was rattled like it was a jump-scare in a movie, and had to stop and wait while I apologised with half my face numbed and stretched open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 319

Creeper

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I accidentally liked a social media post from 2017 while scrolling through someone's profile. I panicked and blocked him. Then I remembered that blocking him wouldn't stop the notification from being seen, so I just shut my phone off and unsuccessfully tried to convince myself that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 346

Oh shit

By TGIF - 09/11/2025 00:00

Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 463

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 22:00

Today, I had a dentist appointment and walked into what looked like the clinic but it was a dental lab. Two technicians were polishing dentures so I asked where Dr. Patel’s office was. They pointed me down a corridor as if it explained why I’d just sat in their reception reading outdated magazines for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 322

Welcome back!

By Sorry... - 09/11/2025 20:00

Today, my husband was coming back after three weeks away for work. I was ready to surprise him when he walked in, but the cat took a foul shit in the litter box and the smell stressed me out so much that the first thing he heard was, "Clean the cat box!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 556

Assumptions

By Ugh - 20/06/2026 12:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 791

Whatever floats your turd

By Self-loathing intensifies - 28/03/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 691

TGIF

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 15:00

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 385

Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 659

Stolen valor!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 03:00

Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 412

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 00:00

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 621

Music is music

By So boringgggggggg - 27/03/2026 12:00

Today, over the last year, my husband has gone from listening to normal people music to constantly listening to boring classical music thanks to his new coworkers. We went to a work party and he spent half the time debating dead white composer men. LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC, YOU WEIRDO! FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 011

Don't make me choose

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 386

Walmart's got talent

By lost in music - 21/12/2025 20:00

Today, I wore my new noise-canceling ear buds in a grocery store and nodded along, getting into the groove. When I took them off at checkout, the cashier asked who I was talking to. I realized I’d been quietly singing to myself ASMR-style while making intense eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 421

DIY top tips

By Doug - 24/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I tried to fix a squeaky door myself after watching a five-minute tutorial. I sprayed lubricant into the hinges, opened the door, and felt proud of myself. Then I noticed the entire floor underneath was covered in tiny black drops. I'd apparently used the wrong spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 302

Assertive

By So broke its a joke - 04/10/2025 12:00

Today, I had an interview. Another applicant shook my hand, saying, "May the better man win." I smirked and said, "Thanks, I plan to." I turned and saw the interviewer. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 539

Badass

By Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 127

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour trying to figure out why my laptop wouldn't charge. I restarted it three times, watched two tutorials, and almost ordered a new charger until I realized that the actual charger wasn't plugged into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 446

Gullible's travels

By YouveGotFraud - 09/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was house-sitting. A lady came to the door and demanded to know whose white car was in the drive. It was mine. She said she had video proof of me hitting her mailbox. I panicked, asked how much it was. She said $200. Later I checked my car. No damage. Impossible angle. I gave $200 to a strange old lady. With no proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 808

Give it back

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 12:00

Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 335

As he should

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 12:00

Today, I sold all of my son's games and gadgets because he got a horrible report card. It turned out that the school made some sort of a mistake and it wasn't his actual report card. He actually got great grades. I tried to apologize but he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 255

Stinky

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 22:00

Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 660

Congrats!

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was selected to give a short speech at a friend's wedding after being told it would only be "a couple of minutes." I walked up drunkenly, reached into my pocket for my notes, and pulled out my shopping list instead. I started reading "milk, onions, toothpaste…" before realising everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 474

Covert

By Tabby Kat - 21/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to take a subtle picture of a cute guy reading at a café. My phone flash went off. He looked up, made direct eye contact, and said, “You could’ve just asked.” I packed up my stuff and left immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 695

Waste not, want not

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 15:00

Today, my boyfriend sent me a long text breaking up with me and calling me "selfish", all because I fed my dog half of the roast he made us for dinner. He knows damn well I feed her a raw diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 859

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 460

Quality family time

By hangry girl - 13/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 377

Clunker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Austin

Today, a customer came in complaining about a weird noise in her car. I took it for a quick test drive, heard nothing, then told her it was probably nothing serious. The second I pulled back into the lot, the hood popped open because I hadn’t latched it properly after checking the fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 402

Green thumb

By not helping - 09/09/2026 03:00 - South Africa

Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 374

No more pranks please

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Norco

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend for a video. I told her to pose for a photo where I got down on one knee and pretended to propose. She was so upset, she kicked me right in the face and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 136

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The Top

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 427

You deserved it 539 938

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 253

You deserved it 33 892

Random

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 044

You deserved it 3 233

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 552

You deserved it 1 837

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 150

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 206

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 460

Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 363