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Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11822) - you deserved it (48012)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11823) - you deserved it (43162)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (59681)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11816) - you deserved it (31301)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11815) - you deserved it (35722)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

#739087
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (49522)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (35896)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

#13764337
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (22872)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

#12818832
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (23032)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Palf - Germany (Brandenburg)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (30609)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (26720)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11790) - you deserved it (36106)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

#14497989
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (18475)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm - misc - by RabbitOwner - United States



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