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Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

#21485980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/29/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by GonnaLockUpMySpices (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer at my coffee shop bitched me out because we don't sell cranberry juice. FML

#21483612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (1669)

On 10/23/2015 at 11:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (7548)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a broken engraved bracelet that I paid 50 dollars for. I was so angry but when I stated "I am going to call them and get a new one!" my boyfriend said back to me "No it's okay, I didn't really like it anyways." It was for our 2 year anniversary. FML

#13837334
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (14751)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (94086)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

#21499372
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/02/2015 at 5:18pm - money - by Notfamous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (1804)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (5310)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

#21507994
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/26/2015 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (1693)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (7046)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (63257)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21426) - you deserved it (47405)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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