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Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

#830447
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10559) - you deserved it (44607)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by rmo1776 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

#20551577
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (41367)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10549) - you deserved it (33279)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

#13797443
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (29574)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10545) - you deserved it (49779)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (51323)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (63335)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (32213)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10537) - you deserved it (74296)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10528) - you deserved it (33064)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10525) - you deserved it (38928)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

#2658962
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10523) - you deserved it (54759)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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