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Beyond parody

By Anonymous - 17/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I had the supreme mega ultra final bosses of Karens. I knew I was cooked when they approached my brunch bar. I didn’t ID them because they were all very obviously 35+. They took immense offense to this and demanded to speak to my manager. They told on me for doing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 84

Shipping is extra

By Lili - 18/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, a package marked "FRAGILE" arrived after weeks of waiting. The box looked perfect. Inside, the item was shattered. The only thing that survived the trip was the instruction manual explaining how carefully the product had been tested for durability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 50

Fake news

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hartlepool

Today, my husband told me that his brother has told him that we slept together years ago. We didn't, it's a lie, and I'm so shocked that at first that I was convinced that this must be some sort of joke that I'm waiting to hear the punch line for. It turns out my husband was completely serious and needless to say we argued about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 99

Happy Father's Day

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 119

Passionate secret

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 03:00 - Bangladesh

Today, my boyfriend came to my room and we were kissing. He was being exceptionally aggressive and intense when my brother knocked outside my door, demanding I open it. He had to jump out while I was fumbling to fix my top and cover my marks with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 356

Old school internet athiest

By Fuck you bitch - 25/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I yet again had to endure one of my patients talking about how their "faith in God" helped them. No bitch, the MEDICINE helped you, not your fake "God" who hates queer people like me. I wish I could yank your IV and see how much help "God" is to you then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 611

Nice try

By fyourlife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 986

You deserved it 37 571

Very brave

By Americas got no talent - 29/06/2026 12:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gathered the courage to sing karaoke after saying no for years. The lyrics screen froze halfway through the song, and everyone expected me to keep going from memory since I picked it. It turns out I only knew the chorus. I hummed for an entire verse as bemused strangers politely clapped along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 89

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 22:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I’ve realized the whole “men are more sexual than women” isn’t true. I have ended up in two long-term relationships with two different men who had zero sex drive, stopped any sort of romantic connection/flirting, and then it felt like I just had a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 90

Hero of the hour

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I stopped a car with its handbrake off from rolling into a group of kids by holding it until it stopped with me half under the tyre, dislocating my knee. Everyone said I was a hero except my dad, who threw an empty can at me because now I can’t push his wheelchair to the working men’s club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 49

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 10/07/2026 00:00 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, everything is falling apart. I hate my job where I get to pick up the mess of clients who don't think. Insane weather: strong rain all the time, and I have to go outside for work. Also, applying for Master's but no offers yet. I desperately want to switch jobs. I feel so alone in this. Health is fucked up. Skipped periods for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 79

Radar

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 74

Not the time or the place

By Lauren - 13/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 333

Careful

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Thornton

Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 228

Trash

By Jimmy044 - 17/07/2026 03:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I got myself locked out of my apartment whilst taking the trash out. I was wearing pyjamas, holding a banana, and I'd left my phone inside. My neighbours learned a lot about me, seeing as no one recognised me and I had to explain that I actually live in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 179

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 84

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 207

Sounds delightful

By Why? Fucking nerd - 27/07/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I stupidly let my friend, who is obsessed with wacky YouTube music channels, have access to a playlist for my party. We ended up listening to Simpsons quotes cut up and spliced into EDM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 374

Socialite

By Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 149

EVERYTHING COMPUTER

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 355

Sleeping beauty

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 436

Sociopaths

By piggies - 07/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 353

How to make it awkward for everyone

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 466

Packed in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 354

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 87

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 510

Welcome back

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 473

You deserved it 2 323

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 168

Classico

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 20:00 - France - Nogent-sur-Marne

Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 137

America's got talent

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 427

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The Top

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 397

You deserved it 3 663

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out, a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out, but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 708

You deserved it 7 462

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 163

You deserved it 89 006

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 1 741

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 130

Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 270