The Top · The top of the year

Anonymous · 30 May 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Sorry sweetie

Today, I admitted to my best friend that I was having second thoughts about getting married and was probably going to break up with him. Unfortunately, my fiance's daughter, who I absolutely adore, overheard the conversation and threw a huge screaming tantrum asking why I didn't want to be her mommy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 581

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Gym girl · 1 June 2026, 20:00 ·Netherlands

Membershipmaxxing

Today, my ex and I both go to the same gym because we're too stubborn to change our membership. He's not being a creeper, but he's dropped over fifty pounds and all the girls there keep talking about how hot he's gotten. It's really awkward when we're in a class together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 293

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Anonymous · 4 June 2026, 09:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

Safe in the closet

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 6 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Are you kidding me?

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband cheated on me with a woman and got her pregnant (we are both men). What's even worse is that not many of my family are supporting me and keep making excuses for him, like maybe he wants to be a dad, or maybe he's bisexual. People are even encouraging me to stay with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 146

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Floppy arm · 8 June 2026, 22:00 ·Amarillo, United States

Magic!

Today, my nephew asked if I wanted to see a magic trick. I humored him and let him give it a go. He covered my phone with a blanket, counted to three, and revealed that it had "disappeared." The little genius had dropped it into a fish tank while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 13 June 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Out of tune

Today, after I spent 3 months secretly learning guitar so I could surprise everyone at a family barbecue, the moment finally came. I sat down, took a deep breath, and realized I'd practiced every song with a capo I forgot to bring, as well as my tuner. Everything sounded terrible. My uncle asked if I was improvising Free Jazz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240 You deserved it 198

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Anonymous · 15 June 2026, 15:00 ·Carrollton, United States

I'd give it ten minutes if I was you

Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 65

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No fair · 17 June 2026, 20:00 ·Secaucus, United States

In this economy?!

Today, I desperately want a kid with my wife, but unfortunately I'm stuck on the hook for child support. The kid was a mistake, a pregnancy from a relationship that lasted less than two months, and unless I can get my payments reduced there's no way my wife and I can afford a kid of our own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 685

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Anonymous · 22 June 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Happy Father's Day

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 24 June 2026, 15:00 ·United States

A bit of an overreaction

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-fiance didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident, which I dumped him for, was because the hospital wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family. He's blocked my number, returned the ring and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 732

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Anonymous · 26 June 2026, 22:00 ·Youngstown, United States

Surprise!

Today, after I spent months assisting my 'work bestie' with planning/arranging her "Surprise!" wedding, Surprise! I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 65

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running girl · 29 June 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Stolen valor

Today, I was signed up for a local 10K run after months of saying I'd "get back into running." Everything went well until I crossed the finish line and proudly accepted a medal… that belonged to someone standing behind me. She had to tap on my shoulder and ask for it back while other runners and volunteers smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 1 July 2026, 12:00 ·Cleveland, United States

Classic

Today, I walked a good 5 minutes across campus, through a few large hallways and up some stairs, with about foot of toilet paper hanging out of my pants before somebody pointed it out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291 You deserved it 119

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Suzie · 3 July 2026, 15:00 ·Australia

Brake check

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 438

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Anonymous · 5 July 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Double standard

Today, my former in-laws have been giving me crap for remarrying only four months after my divorce, yet they had no problem with my ex-wife remarrying only a week after our divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 8 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Thanks Gemini

Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 You deserved it 469

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Anonymous · 10 July 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Reasonable

Today, my wife and I have been fighting and she's accusing me of being too controlling because I absolutely forbid her from putting pictures of our kids on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 186

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Jimmy · 12 July 2026, 20:00 ·Secaucus, United States

Windfall

Today, I went to a casino with $300 to spend and somehow walked out with $21K. When I told my wife, she sighed and moaned about how annoying taxes will be, and how I should have pushed my luck further. The house always wins, even when it loses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 70

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Anonymous · 15 July 2026, 00:00 ·Lady Lake, United States

Settler setters

Today, my dogs have coordinated a T-formation as I lay down to sleep. Essentially cutting me off 80% of the bed. Too tired to fight, too annoyed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126 You deserved it 325

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Anonymous · 17 July 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Ripped

Today, I’m sick and tired of women disrespecting my relationship. They come up and openly flirt with my man right in front of me, because no one thinks we’re together. I know it’s because he’s ripped like a Greek god while I’m 300lbs. He loves me as I am, I just wish other people would get it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 212

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Curious George · 19 July 2026, 15:00 ·Denver, United States

Today's mystery item

Today, I found an old USB drive and spent an hour trying to open it because I was sure it had important files on it. It contained one blurry photo of my thumb and a Word doc titled “Do not open", which was actually blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 263

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no more mister nice guy · 21 July 2026, 22:00 ·United States

The simp life

Today, I paid for the girl I love to come to a music festival with me. Fifteen minutes after we got there, she was hanging off the arm of some muscly rich douche who barely glanced at me, except to call me "little simpy dude." She giggled as he whisked her off to the VIP area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433 You deserved it 232

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Anonymous · 24 July 2026, 03:00 ·United States

Disassociating

Today, I bought noise-cancelling headphones to help me focus while working from home. They're amazing. I can no longer hear my timer, my doorbell, or my smoke alarm when I burn my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 You deserved it 319

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Anonymous · 26 July 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Should I stay or should I go?

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and said it was a shame that two handsome guys across the room were gay, because real men like that were perfect for marrying and having babies with. She has let me know many times she does not want to marry or have babies. Guess it’s just me she doesn’t want them with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 31 July 2026, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

I think you should leave

Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 94

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Suzanne · 2 August 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Drive away

Today, I took my car in because of a strange rattling noise. The mechanic charged me nothing, just handed me back my reusable water bottle that had been rolling around under the passenger seat for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 432

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Chris · 4 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Not enough RAM

Today, I got a notification that my package had been delivered. I searched my porch, checked with my neighbors, and even contacted customer support. It was sitting in my car's trunk because I'd picked it up from a parcel locker yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 You deserved it 428

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Now we both get punished! · 6 August 2026, 22:00 ·United States

You did what?

Today, I'm so strapped for cash, I had to send my daughter to play with my neighbor's daughter, both are 5, because she gets fed there. She suddenly came home saying they're not friends anymore, bragging how she hit her and she bled while crying. Why? She bought 2 new toys and gave her one, so they have the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 03:00 ·Australia

Threat level: Baked

Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 120

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LieutenantDimwit · 11 August 2026, 12:00 ·Giza, Egypt

Memorable challenge

Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 336

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