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Out of tune

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, after I spent 3 months secretly learning guitar so I could surprise everyone at a family barbecue, the moment finally came. I sat down, took a deep breath, and realized I'd practiced every song with a capo I forgot to bring, as well as my tuner. Everything sounded terrible. My uncle asked if I was improvising Free Jazz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 196

University challenge

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I got selected to participate in a trivia night after trying for ages. First question: "What is the capital city of Australia?" My brain completely stopped functioning and I confidently and incorrectly answered "Sydney." I've spent most of my life knowing the correct answer, but my brain wouldn't let me remember it when it mattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 247

Student becomes the Master

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my kids off for some misbehaviour when my wife chimed in that in all honestly, they were just behaving like I do most days. I had zero defence to that because it’s true. I've now got a wife and three kids who won’t stop mocking me FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 551

Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 110

Some more news

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 443

Noise annoys

By Stacey02 - 23/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, a quiet afternoon at the library turned stressful when my phone started blasting music. Every attempt to silence it somehow increased the volume. After seconds of panic, I realised the sound wasn't coming from my phone. It was a kid's toy buried somewhere in my backpack after a visit from my niece. The reading room people still glared at me like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 94

Tough break

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, my bouncy, friendly, loving, energetic dog was diagnosed with a spinal condition. Now, if she runs, jumps, or plays she’ll cripple herself. Bonus: she has no idea anything’s wrong, and just stares out a window wondering why her beloved human has suddenly banned her from doing every single thing she loves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 47

Bomb!

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 00:00 - Germany - Cologne

Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 442

Good vibes

By julia - 04/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a fight over moving boxes. It started with screaming and ended with, “I hate you and hope you feel unloved for the rest of your life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 93

Missed that part of training, eh?

By I DID NOT KNOW - 09/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I found a mysterious button under my desk at work and pressed it out of curiosity. It was the emergency panic alarm. Within five minutes, security, my manager, and then two confused police officers were asking if I was OK. I just wanted to know what the button did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 523

Squeaker of the house

By Awkward - 13/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 121

Kinky

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 03:00 - Belgium - Bruges

Today, my cuckold fantasy became real. I got back home earlier than usual and found my wife being banged by a guy. I waited 10 minutes for him finish before entering the room screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 288

No fun allowed

By Annie S. - 16/07/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and toddler little sister were happily being silly, with each other going "WHOA!!!" and acting like they were being blown around by a huge gust of wind… every time, right after I'd sneezed, which I have been doing all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 111

So, so tired

By Brad - 20/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I got off night shift and went home to make a batch of taquitos. I put them in the oven and sat down on the couch, only to pass out. I woke up 8 hours later to my wife getting home from work and freaking out that the house smelled like smoke. I think I overcooked them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 167

Dilemma

By askallthequestions86 - 24/07/2026 00:00

Today, I have chronic dry mouth due to medication. It makes my breath smell atrocious, so I got some Biotene dry mouth lozenges. I usually have constipation issues. Lately it's been the opposite. So I can either have porta-potty breath or be on the brink of shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 65

One simple trick

By HotAndBotheredAndSad - 25/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally made my fiancé orgasm with oral without his help. He asked me what I did differently. It turns out, I was just sad and depressed because he hasn’t made the effort to make me orgasm in months. I can’t ask without feeling like I’m intruding on his busy schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 134

Love you Mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to log into my bank account online but forgot my password. When I hit “Forgot password?” the security question asked, “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” I put it in and it said, “Incorrect.” It turns out that I've been misspelling it wrong for years and never noticed, despite my mom dying last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 381

Lasting first impression

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 131

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I learned that the guy I've had a crush on for almost 6 months at work is significantly younger than me. So young that I could have been his babysitter growing up. He's 21, I'm 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 203

Work/life balancing act

By Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 262

Classic dad joke

By I hate puns - 16/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 155

Good friends

By Anonymous - 19/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I’ve gone through numerous expensive fertility treatments with no success. A former friend of mine owes me almost $2K. I’ve asked for the money back numerous times so that I can use it to pay for another round of IVF. She won’t pay. She just announced that she's pregnant.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 139

Erm, OK?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 439

Airbnb blues

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, to make money, I’ve had to Airbnb my house while I sleep at my sister's. The very first guest I had caused fire damage to the kitchen and a huge skid mark on the mattress. Not on the sheets, on the actual mattress. No idea where the sheets are, I think they stole them, and the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 132

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 109

The pros and cons

By Why am I feeling miserable? - 28/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally got a job after nearly two years of unemployment. My boss is amazing, my coworkers are fun and helpful, and the pay is great. There's just one issue: it seems as though nothing can change the fact that I simply do not enjoy the job itself, even though I really thought I would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 241

I've gotta lot going on, OK?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my house absolutely reeks of skunk after my dog got tagged at 10pm last night and we didn’t realize it until she was already back inside. This is on top of a nasty case of whole body poison ivy my 6 year-old is dealing with, and my wife’s appendix decided to leave the chat last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 87

Stay home

By TipTopPost - 02/09/2025 22:00

Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 79

Weekend vibes

By Jakolator - 06/09/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, my wife had a shit fit because my son said I hadn't fed him. I'd asked him four times what he wanted for breakfast, and every time he said, "I'm not hungry right now." Great start to the fucking weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 108

Bad guys

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 03:00 - France

Today, it was my first Grindr hookup (I know, I know…) and I ended up getting catfished by some random dude. I decided to just have a walk and get over it, but then I got followed by another random dude for 30 minutes. I can now confidently say I hate men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 153

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The Top

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 683

You deserved it 4 734

Today, I went to the library to pick up a copy of Romeo and Juliet for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied, "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 8 916

Today, I did the dishes to make my parents happy, even though it's my brother's chore. My mom's fancy new Yeti cup was among the dirty dishes, which also has a Bluetooth speaker on the bottom. I didn't know this, and now the Bluetooth speaker is now ruined, mom and dad are furious, and I apparently have to buy a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 227

Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 166

Today, I was instructed to tell my niece a bedtime story, so I made up a story where they come down to Earth and steal all the ice cream. Suddenly, she burst into tears and ran to her mom, screaming, "The aliens are coming! Save the ice cream!" Now, I'm banned from bedtime storytelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 241

Today, my flight landed after a 12-hour trip, and I walked out of the airport without checking a single bag. Twenty minutes into my drive home, the airline called asking why I'd left my passport at immigration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 358