The Top · The top of the year

Anonymous · 11 December 2025, 09:00

Sir, this is a Wendy's

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154 You deserved it 250

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Mourning Myrtle · 13 December 2025, 15:00

Moving on

Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417 You deserved it 116

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Lisandra · 16 December 2025, 00:00

Pure class

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 18 December 2025, 09:00

Life choices

Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 You deserved it 459

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Anonymous · 20 December 2025, 12:00

Here comes trouble…

Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 666

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Anonymous · 25 December 2025, 00:00

Remote

Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 27 December 2025, 09:00

Move on

Today, I bought a guy I’ve liked for months a Christmas present and expressed how much he meant to me. He said, “Lol, thanks.” He then went on a date with another girl. Apparently, being loving and caring towards guys gets you used and rejected. My lover girl era is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168 You deserved it 563

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Im tired · 31 December 2025, 22:00

Take a break

Today, out of pure exhaustion, I laughed way too hard at something my coworker said. I got the giggles, and I couldn't stop. When everyone stopped talking, I realized I was the only one still laughing, sounding unhinged. I need a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 114

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Sam · 3 January 2026, 03:00

Protect your pipes

Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 64

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Anonymous · 14 January 2026, 15:00

Memories…

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 120

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Fourth, EWWW!!! · 16 January 2026, 22:00

Quality time

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted him to watch The Handmaid's Tale with me. He snorted and said, "Nah, I'd rather not watch your rape fantasy show." First of all, ew. Second of all, how is this show a fantasy? It's horrifying. Third of all, EW! FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 416

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KD · 19 January 2026, 03:00

Wrong place, wrong time

Today, at work, I had an accident and cracked a rib. I got taken to hospital where I got checked over. The doctor said it was a good job I hadn't got a chest infection nor a cold. Funny you should say that doc, I have both. She replied, "Well, that's bad…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 348 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 21 January 2026, 12:00

Never the twain

Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 221

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Anonymous · 23 January 2026, 20:00

New fad dropped

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 417

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Not that old!! · 26 January 2026, 00:00

Hashtag health goals

Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 28 January 2026, 03:00

Rubbing it in

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 364

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Anonymous · 30 January 2026, 12:00

Ego boost

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I took my girlfriend to meet my friends, and they made her play a drinking game. A question she had to answer was about me and how she liked my hygiene, because her ex had terrible hygiene and never wiped his ass. Today she dumped me for him, so now to my friends I'm the guy who is lower than the skidmarks guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 78

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Old and tired · 1 February 2026, 20:00

Namaste

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 4 February 2026, 00:00

RIP

Today, someone took a shit on my father’s gravestone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525 You deserved it 52

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Depressed af · 6 February 2026, 09:00

Let it out

Today, I'd built up the courage to talk to my doctor about anxiety, even rehearsing what to say. When she asked, “So what brings you in today?” I immediately burst into tears, said, “I don’t know,” then apologized for crying. She handed me tissues and said, “This happens a lot,” which somehow made me cry harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 8 February 2026, 15:00

Unstable weather

Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 177

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Anonymous · 13 February 2026, 03:00

The spice of life

Today, my girlfriend invited me over to her family’s house for dinner. Every dish was packed with onion, garlic, pepper, and some spices I couldn’t even identify. I couldn’t actually taste the meat or the side dishes. All the nuance had been obliterated. I think they might not have taste buds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198 You deserved it 347

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LieutenantDimwit · 15 February 2026, 12:00

Give my regards to Broad Street

Today, I was about to cross the fabled Abbey Road street crossing for a photo. Like an idiot, I didn’t pay attention to the road. As I began crossing, a lady on her e-bike frantically swerved out of the way and ate the pavement. In front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 You deserved it 614

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Rachel · 17 February 2026, 20:00

Sinking pirate ship

Today, I wanted to stream my favourite show illegally, but it turns out the website got shut down and anyone affiliated would face fines. It's a bit of a shame because I had one episode left in the last season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310 You deserved it 281

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Anonymous · 22 February 2026, 12:00

Just the tit

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 364

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No, I am NOT!!! · 27 February 2026, 00:00

Derpina

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 307

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Sad · 1 March 2026, 09:00

Romance is dead

Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 749 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 3 March 2026, 15:00

Good luck!

Today, it's my breaking point. I've been in a roommate-type marriage for too long and I've finally lost the spark of hope that made me stay. It's going to be a terrible process to rebuild my life but I can't deal like this anymore. I'd rather live in the dirt than another day here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 85

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Anonymous · 10 March 2026, 12:00

No cruise for you

Today, my brother and sister-in-law uninvited my family from their Disney Cruise because I told them that my daughter is not going to babysit their kids. I don't know how to tell my kids that we're no longer going. They're going to be so devastated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 12 March 2026, 20:00

Keyboard warrior goes clackity clack

Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 66

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