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Oddly specific

By Doggoneit - 20/02/2026 00:00

Today, I accepted the fact that the weekend job I loved is not coming back. My friend and I made them 30K in a month. They said they’re restructuring but I think that's because it’s cheaper to hire their family and it’s been six weeks of radio silence. I miss the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 68

Is that even legal?

By what a cruel man - 08/03/2026 03:00

Today, my rich ex-husband died, and left our two children $100 each, while leaving his other children seven figures. He said in his will that it was his "revenge" for my infidelity. Now my kids won't talk to me. How cruel can you be, holding on to a grudge and punishing your own blood for it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 811

Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 151

Trumpet solo

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 70

Pure class

By tacky_unrefined - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 832

You deserved it 4 139

Heated gaming moment

By Too young for a job btw - 17/03/2026 00:00

Today, my younger brother broke his Switch in a fit of gamer rage. When my dad refused to buy him a new one, he had a massive tantrum. Later, he dunked mine in the toilet since it "wasn't fair" that I still had a Switch and he didn't. My parents beat him, but they won't buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 81

Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 63

Mix up

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 09:00

Today, my manager told me point blank if my uncle weren’t a senior manager he’d fire me. My uncle isn’t a senior manager because I don’t have any uncles, just two aunts, but I’m terrified that if I tell my manager then he’ll fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 79

My client…

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 03:00

Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 191

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 00:00

Today, my mom got angry that I won't give her the funds necessary to send my little brother to military school. She wants to send him because he caught her cheating on our dad and punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 60

Reunited

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally located all seven of my younger siblings, who I abandoned to foster care when I was 15, after our parents were deported back to Mexico. Each and every one of them told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 223

Ally

By Anonyme - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend, who is going out with someone else now. At least I now know that he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 965

You deserved it 4 450

Under pressure

By Ew blood - 16/04/2026 15:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 77

No more pranks please

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Norco

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend for a video. I told her to pose for a photo where I got down on one knee and pretended to propose. She was so upset, she kicked me right in the face and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 812

Bonus dilemma

By Conflicted - 23/04/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she got a hefty bonus at work and will pay off my credit card debt. I was gonna break up with her because I’d been working on resolving things with my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 999

Cat fight

By Mishka - 03/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 441

Where am I?

By rmo1776 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140

You deserved it 49 435

Time sensitive

By Landin - 12/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Vernal

Today, my girlfriend left me at 11pm after leading me on for 5 months, all because she lost interest. I wasted so much time, money, and emotions on her, and never received them from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 283

Busted

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss caught me coming to work late. I panicked and told him I’d been there all day. He knows I do a lot of editing for Wikipedia, so he actually found my publicly listed edits showing I’d been publishing edits from my normal account, i.e. my home PC, when I should have been at work. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 938

Hotly debated topic

By Office Space 2025 - 23/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 498

Perfectionist

By Carlweezer5296 - 30/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I was working on a middle school project that needed to be at a 900 percent or above, this being my math level. I take a 8th grade algebra class so I needed mine to well be a 900, and after months of working I'd got it there. I got one answer wrong and it sent me to 860, where I’ve been for the last 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 130

Are the straights OK?

By Nurse ratchet - 01/06/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, my fiance lost his shit when I told him that I’ve decided to go to nursing school. He claims that all nurses are cheating whores and that if I become one we’re through. His source? The troglodytes that thrive in the bowels of the internet. All because one guy got his heart broken by a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 111

Get on with it

By Not PMS, she's just a mega bitch - 08/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 80

Blackout

By itsgonnabealongnight... - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 682

You deserved it 3 138

Which show is it?

By Not Riverdale - 26/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoiled a TV show I've seen that a friend has started binge-watching by saying, “Episode 7 really did my head in.” His face turned from excitement to annoyance, and has vowed revenge, saying, "Great, I'm going to be anticipating episode 7 for the next few hours thanks to you, stop talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 451

Hell in a handbasket

By Depressed - 01/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I live in a country where people are debating something called "The big, beautiful bill." The bill itself is terrible if you're not a sociopathic rich person, but the media is actually using that name. Big beautiful bill. Are we a nation of children? If so, well, googoo gaga I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 276

Idiots, idiots everywhere

By Annon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 562

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 434

Toxic AF

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend begged me not to take an amazing promotion at my job. He reasoned that he’d be emasculated and humiliated if he had a girlfriend that outranked and out-earned him. I had to celebrate alone as my whole family lives in another state. Congrats to me but also, FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 115

You never know

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Ballston Spa

Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 109

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The Top

Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 108

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 585

You deserved it 6 132

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 600

You deserved it 2 171

Today, I was playing Spikeball with some friends when the ball got lost and went rolling towards a pond. As I sprinted to grab it before it fell in the water, my shoe came off, causing me to trip and faceplant into the mud. I then watched as the ball rolled into the pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 147

Today, I contacted the Unemployment Office. I was told that I needed to send additional information, then that the information had already been received, and that the case would be reviewed. For the fourth time. I've been out of work for three months, and haven't received a dime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 103

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 182