The Top

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The end of an era

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 07:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had to quit my dream job, due to an injury I received at work over two months ago not fully healing. Not only do I really need the money, I’ll never find something I love doing so much, or a better group of coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 82

Probably

By Brittany - 12/01/2026 22:00

Today, I caught my husband making out with our nanny. I had hired her in the first place because I didn’t see her as a threat. She’s 19 year-old chubby girl with glasses. Is he out of his goddamn mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 286

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I’m what they call “first world poor.” I own a phone and a laptop paid for with credit, and every time I use them it’s to check my emails to see all my new job application rejections, and to check my bank so I can watch my savings dwindling away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 96

This is our song

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 22:00

Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 582

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 681

Tooth down

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 00:00

Today, I yawned and broke a front tooth. Yes, you read that correctly. I did a big yawn, my jaw suddenly hurt, I felt something crack and half my tooth fell into my lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 49

Time flies

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a self-destructive personality among other things. I saw everything from my past instantly, like photographic memory recall. It was utterly terrifying, from extreme childhood drug-induced trauma that continues to this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 145

New avenue

By Pride lost - 20/01/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend and I went out with one of her guy friends. After two bars, we ended up back at her place and somehow the three of us ended up in bed. I was a Gold Star Lesbian and now I'm just a slutty bi girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 224

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 031

You deserved it 17 438

We're on a break

By col - 04/09/2020 01:56

Today, my girlfriend of almost 3 years told me we needed a break, and that we could try again at the end of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 160

High pressure

By Anonymous - 03/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I learned that not all toilets are created equal. I visited a friend's house, and their super fancy toilet decided to give me a surprise bidet experience. The water pressure was so high, I ended up soaking my clothes. I had to borrow my friend's brother's clothes. He’s 14. I’m 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 100

Fair is fair

By Loss - 21/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 127

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 775

Whatever it is, it's not enough

By mother of an idiot - 09/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my second-grade daughter asked her teacher how much money she makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 211

Time flies

By Jonathan - 24/01/2026 12:00

Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 29

Socially awkward

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 388

Not so cosy now, huh?

By Homely - 09/07/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I let my best friend know how I feel about him, since I have developed feelings for some time. I let it all out, hyperventilating and crying, yet relieved that I finally got it off my chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I appreciate it and you’re a great friend, but you’re kinda too homely for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 163

It's not you, it's me

By DyingAlone - 14/12/2021 23:01

Today, I met the guy my ex left me for. He's morbidly obese, has no personality, and got her drinking again, even though she has a problem. She says, "I've never been happier." Now everything I've done for my anxiety and depression has come undone, and I can't be convinced there isn't something horribly wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 282

Heftychonk

By Wha happen? - 11/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat went from a badass huntress to the tuxedo equivalent of Garfield in just four years. She's only 6. I don't overfeed her and try very hard to keep her active. I have no idea why she got so fat and lazy. I do know that dealing with bugs by myself is something I can't afford to do adequately right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 181

Bad at maths

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I under-read the gas meter in an attempt to get a lower bill. Too bad it was the move-in read, meaning the starting point was way behind, causing a much higher bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 554

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Central Square

Today, while I was at work, the cops were called for a wellness check on me because I'd blocked my bio father for being a pedophile. He'd called them on me, and I'm really embarrassed and upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 103

Hello?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 551

Rude!

By Fred from NY - 22/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was showing my grandma how to use emojis on her new smartphone. After she sent a cute smiley face, she went on to send a string of random emojis, including the eggplant and the peach, to her church group chat. When she found out the meaning those emojis usually have, she tried to ground me, even though I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 100

Sneaking around

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 18:00 - United States - Elkton

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 3 265

Snowflakes

By Servergirl - 11/12/2021 13:58

Today, I was a server in a restaurant and the wait time was longer than usual, because of short-staffing and lack of supplies. A huge muscular guy got up and went on a rant about the wait time, and how “voting for Democrats” causes these problems, and then stormed off without ordering anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 227

I'm not getting paid enough for this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was promoted to Executive Assistant of our new managing director. Alas, no one told me that, alongside her occasional periods of managerial brilliance, she has severe ADHD and dyslexia, so as well as an assistant I’m also her babysitter, interpreter, maid, nurse, tutor, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 126

Stalked

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 01:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'm currently being stalked/harassed by my narcissistic ex's new baby mama. She's trying to get me fired from my new job for taking her man, when in reality I want nothing to do with him. The fact that she has taken my baby's name and named their daughter it, is freaking me out. She has people find me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 156

Rumor mill

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 05:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my brother-in-law was nice enough to bring me lunch at work. The people I work with are so catty and immature that the rumors started flying almost immediately. Grow up already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 93

A disappointing evening

By Jaxx - 15/03/2023 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 776

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The Top

Today, I learned that there is an actual medical term for having trouble making decisions of any kind. I'm not sure if I should feel understood because I know it's an actual disorder, or be angry that people still believe it's fake when I show it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 226

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 5 045

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 3 334

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 122

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 34 301

Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 177