The Top

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Connection is all around me…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 62

Have fun!

By Cool aunt - 23/08/2026 20:00 - Canada

Today, I bought my niece a huge stuffed teddy bear for her birthday because I wanted to be the cool aunt/uncle. She hugged it, smiled, and then immediately hugged the gift bag instead, because apparently it made a "funny" crinkly noise. I have officially been defeated by packaging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 128

No-go zone

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Batley

Today, while on the phone with my mum I mentioned that we were thinking of moving and had seen a house we liked. Her response? "Glad you’re leaving that crime-ridden area." The house we’re looking at is two doors away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 74

Surprised, indeed

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by cleaning the entire apartment while she was away. Three hours later, everything looked perfect. She came home, looked around, and immediately asked why her plant was missing. I had thrown it out because I thought it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 380

Friends in need

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was on good terms with my ex, and I thought we were going to get back together. I let him use my car to go back to his place after being at mine. I checked the GPS log and saw a familiar address. I then found out he was using my car for booty calls with someone I considered a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 164

Confusing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 00:00 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, a guy I liked is moving away. He gave me a flower, saying it was a farewell gift even though he's moving to my hometown where I'm also returning to. I was confused because while it wasn't a rose, this isn't common where we're from. He then told me he's been in love with our friend since their first conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 68

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 77

Perverts!

By Not that type of friend! - 05/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Chino

Today, my husband and I have been trying to find a new friend group ever since we moved states for his job. As if trying to meet people as adults isn’t hard enough, everyone thinks that just because we’re friendly, we must be flirting. We legit just want new people to hang with, not swing with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 67

Temper tantrum

By ViciousCycle - 23/09/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 13

Is that even legal?

By Basil - 29/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Contoocook

Today, I discovered that my mom got my college fund in the divorce. I will never see that money again and now I can’t afford a four year school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 52

Eco friendly

By People who litter should be confronted - 01/09/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was on a walk when I saw a man dump a bag of trash into the creek. Furious, I shouted at him, and when he shoved me, I threw him into the creek. Later, I was arrested and charged with battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 220

The gap

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, someone asked me if I was my boyfriend's little sister, just because of our height difference. He's 6'2", I'm 4'11", and this is the fifth time it has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 108

Full blast

By Anonymous - 29/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Needham

Today, I found out about a mistake I made at work when the director brought it up in an all-staff meeting, including staff from a different office. It was the first I time I'd heard about it - along with everyone else. Not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 60

Good meeting you

By MOM!!!! - 27/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I joined an online meeting from my bedroom and made sure the background looked tidy. About twenty minutes in, my mother walked in behind me carrying a laundry basket and shouted, “Where did you put my bras?” The meeting was with my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 101

Family bonding time

By Sick - 20/09/2026 00:00 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I am 38 weeks pregnant with my fourth baby. Not only do I have severe pelvic pain, a bad cold and earache, but my three kids are running fevers as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 136

I think I should leave

By Anonymous - 21/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was catfished by a guy. His photo showed a guy who was reasonably in shape with a full head of hair. When I met him in person, he had a receding hairline and a belly so big he couldn’t fit in the booth. We had to ask to move to a normal table and chairs, which was another 25 minute wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 65

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 09:00 - Finland - Pihtipudas

Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 125

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 80

Peace and quiet

By Julie - 31/08/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, it's the second night in a row when I thought, "I really need to catch up on my sleep deficit!" and instead had an even shittier night than the one before. My neighbours just started a party right under my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 63

****** addict

By Anonymous - 29/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, trying not to watch porn, I started looking for a group workout program, then tried to create images that resembled my wife, then ended up watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 205

Cool your boots, Janet

By Don'tComplimentTheCrazies - 02/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, HR wants to see me about an email where my boss asks me to respect her body. My offense? I asked if she bought a new shirt during a web meeting with our small team. We've worked together for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 71

Petrolhead

By Whoopsie - 04/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 369

Flattened

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found a note on my car windshield that said, “Sorry about what happened.” I immediately assumed someone had hit it. After panicking for 2 minutes, I realized the note had been left by my friend, who had borrowed my car and accidentally left the radio playing overnight, draining the battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 61

Nine Inch Nails?

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 09:00 - Tanzania - Dar es Salaam

Today, I realized my mom, whom I've been distant with for a few months, doesn't know her birth date. She's in her thirties and I need to apply for a university loan but it's impossible without her NIN, and she knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 66

Sorry…

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today I gently tried to break the news to my now ex-fiance's daughter that her Daddy and I weren't going to get married after all (he cheated), but that I still loved her with all my heart. She responded by punching me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 57

Not again!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I went to see a podiatrist, two weeks after having major surgery on my abdomen, only to be told I might need surgery on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 42

Gullible's travels

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my husband is convinced that he inherited a house in Florida and wants us to move there. I cannot convince him that it's clearly an internet scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 75

A sitter's a sister

By Anonymous - 11/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I offered to babysit half siblings so my sister didn't have to, but my dad and stepmom said no, because: "Babysitting is a girl's job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 77

Hope springs eternal

By notlovinit - 18/09/2026 15:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, it's been a day since I've went on a date with a girl I liked. She didn't contact me back, so I presumed that she wasn't interested. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and felt very excited. It was a McDonald's app notification. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 78

Bonus

By Tralalalalala - 30/08/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, I got an email statement from my job's HR. Long story short, they are cancelling all pending referral bonuses as they are "too costly" and they determined that my "salary is more than enough." I can still refer more people, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 70

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The Top

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 785

You deserved it 13 290

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 157

You deserved it 54 692

Random

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for four or more hours. Not even two hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 769

You deserved it 2 370

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 024

You deserved it 4 574

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 372

You deserved it 8 270

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 4 893

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 939

You deserved it 2 318

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 415

You deserved it 7 847