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Beep beep

By Anonymous - 17/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was cooking dinner when my smoke alarm started beeping. I opened the windows, turned on the fan, and checked everything twice. I then realized the noise wasn't the smoke alarm. It was my oven timer. I'd been cooking completely normally and panicking for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 313

Vroom vroom

By Back Breaking News - 21/09/2026 15:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was ridiculed, mocked, and laughed at in the motorcycle garage a buddy recommended. I trusted the owner's discreetness, until he actually shouted for everyone to hear what I was asking for: "WHAT!? YOU WANT YOUR BIG BIKE QUIETER!?" Time to trade it in for a new car, or back to public transport I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 121

What's going on here?

By Curious - 25/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I found an old disposable camera while cleaning out my parents' attic and got the film developed. Most photos were blurry family photos from 2007, but the last few showed my dad outside a restaurant holding hands with someone who wasn't my mom. I'm now debating if I want to know anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 59

Unsend! Unsend!

By Niceknowingya - 27/08/2026 15:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I (admittedly dumbly) AI generated pictures of my boss as a joke with my coworkers. They asked me to send them to them but instead I ended up sending it to my boss. A bunch of them were him extremely obese or with his ass out. I can't unsend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 706

Zoned out

By Anonymous - 31/08/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I took a train to visit a friend and fell asleep for what felt like ten minutes. I woke up at the final stop with the carriage empty. The doors opened, I stepped onto the platform, and immediately realized I had no idea where I was or how I'd got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 274

Social interaction

By Anna - 05/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Cornelius

Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 100

I can explain

By SLEEPLESS - 07/09/2026 09:00 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I have my bedroom window covered in tinfoil, since there is an insanely bright streetlight right outside my window and nothing else works to block it so when I brought a girl back to my place and she opened the blinds, she saw the tinfoil and stared in horror. I tried to explain but she just stared and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 79

Green thumb

By not helping - 09/09/2026 03:00 - South Africa

Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 366

A tad harsh

By Fat blob - 10/09/2026 22:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, an aunt asked me why I'm single. I laughed and said, "I know my value, and I have high standards. Men can't handle that." My cousin burst into laughter and said, "What value? You're 36 and 300 pounds. Your value is zero!" I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 608

Are you the one?

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 12:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I'm casually dating on the apps. Took home yesterday's date and believed she was casual too. In the morning she tells me she wants to be exclusive and has her future planned out with me. This is the fifth time in a row this has happened. Guess I shouldn't take anyone home unless I'm ready to be her life partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 233

Sweet

By f_ck_U - 03/09/2026 20:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I returned to my sweet home after a two-month cozy vacation full of good memories, only to find that the place was sweet no more and had turned into a bug and mold-infested Petri dish uninhabitable for any living creature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 151

What's that smell?

By fire!! - 07/09/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 363

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears

By Anonymous - 12/09/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son gave a beautiful eulogy at his uncle's funeral. At the pub afterwards, a bunch of family and friends told me what he did was pathetic, shameful, and an absolute disgrace. Turns out he plagiarised the entire eulogy, word for word, from a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 71

Granny brain

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 68

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 197

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Taunton

Today, I realized I've fallen for my best friend. Private conversations suggest she feels the same, but around others she dismisses love as "stupid". I don't want things to become awkward, but I feel like I should walk away instead of burying my feelings to maintain the friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 123

Jumpy

By jumpscare - 03/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after I accidentally put my headphones through the washing machine and then drying them out, they somehow still worked, but only in one ear. I was about to accept my fate when the other side suddenly started playing audio at full volume during a quiet train ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 120

Planning

By girlboss - 05/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I bought an expensive notebook because I wanted to become the kind of person who plans everything. On the first page, I carefully wrote my goals, habits, and schedule. I haven't opened it since. It is now the most organized thing I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 266

Hot mic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined a video meeting 5 minutes early and spent the time quietly complaining about one of my coworkers to my friend. When the meeting started, I realized my microphone had been on the entire time. Said coworker was the first person to say hello. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 543

Check your luggage

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 96

Footsie

By Anonymous - 20/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to try the Facebook dating profile. I met up with a guy, we had a great vibe and we were talking when I started rubbing his feet. He left and a bit later he texted me, telling me he had a great time, but to "never touch his fucking feet again" and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 466

Better the devil you know

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Youngstown

Today, I'm currently in a relationship, but he acts like a child. My boss has been trying for over a year to get my attention, and I've ignored his advances this whole time, but now I think that I've caught feelings for him. I'm torn between a man child and my boss who makes me submissive. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 319

Hydrate!

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I bought a fancy reusable water bottle because I wanted to be properly hydrated. On the first day, I filled it, put it in my backpack, and went to work. Six hours later, I discovered the lid wasn't fully closed. My laptop survived, but every document in my bag smelled like cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 332

Wild goose chase

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my headphones on the bus and didn't realize until I got home. I used the tracking app and saw they were moving around the city. I followed the location for half an hour before realizing the signal was coming from my own neighborhood because the headphones had been sitting in my backpack the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 378

Oh, I forgot to mention…

By Driver - 07/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an evening teaching my younger brother how to parallel park before his driving test. After an hour, he finally parked perfectly between two cars. I was so proud that I told him we'd nailed it. Then we noticed we were parked in front of someone's driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 279

Stranded

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, I went to go visit my friends in my hometown. It was really nice seeing everyone. We had dinner at one of my favorite places, plus all 3 of my kids behaved! We all said goodbye and I drove home… leaving my kid's stroller in the parking lot. In MA. I live in NJ. I didn't realize till this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 272

PANIC!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 67

Let me in

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 15:00 - Canada

Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 244

I'm really tired, chief

By sleepy and ill - 06/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my dad now insists I HAVE to be up at 7 am every day. I explained that even after waking up at 7 am for months, my body still couldn’t fall asleep earlier and I stayed chronically sleep deprived. He thinks I’m lying because, “No one’s body works like that.” I’m 30 and can’t move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 134

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 07/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we found out in the middle of my son's custody battle that he never filed the joint custody papers when his son was born, they're just sat in a drawer in his kitchen because he’d "get round to it.” His ex has sole legal custody and has cut off all contact with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 360

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The Top

Random

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 918

You deserved it 4 890

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 5 104

Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 721

You deserved it 981

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 137

Today, I was on a date, and I mentioned that I'm divorced, he was fine with that. I said I have two kids, he was fine with that. I mentioned the youngest is autistic, he was not fine with that, got up, and left so fast saying he wants nothing to do with kids like that. I was left with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 269

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 591