The Top

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Self sabotage

By StarryEyes - 27/01/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I spent an hour meticulously crafting the perfect text to ask my crush out. Just as I hit send, I realized I'd accidentally sent a screenshot of the conversation to my crush instead. Now they know my level of commitment: zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 563

EVERYTHING COMPUTER

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 344

I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead

By lizardhater - 12/03/2020 22:09 - Singapore

Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 280

Lasting first impression

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 129

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 133

I hate small talk

By billie - 13/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 438

Mortifying

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 00:00 - United States - San Ramon

Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 189

Honk if you Love Me!

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 16:01 - Switzerland

Today, I'm so lonely that I get happy when I get attention from car drivers when they honk at me for driving too slowly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 257

Bad doggies

By Fuck dogs, I need a treadmill - 23/02/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I went for a walk. I was repeatedly barked at, and almost attacked, by nearly a dozen dogs. I have cynophobia from being nearly killed by violent untrained dogs on several occasions, so just hearing a dog bark gives me severe heart palpitations. I'm not kidding when I say I almost had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 175

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 190

Glad to help

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 168

Trashy

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 81

Boo!

By Repeal2A - 11/09/2025 12:00

Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 530

Bruxism

By tiptoppc - 04/11/2022 00:00

Today, after waking up from a bad migraine which caused my teeth to clench, I found out that I broke a molar. A dentist told me it split down to the bone, so I need root canal and an extended crown. Then they told me the tooth below had also broke and has to be pulled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 86

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 120

Pinned

By STRIKE! - 12/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 132

Yippee!

By Such a rush - 27/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 125

Empathy is a thing

By Ori-GODDAMMIT - 26/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my teacher made the class do Origami. As a disabled and very ham-fisted individual, I was the only one who struggled, while everyone else seemed to get it effortlessly. I started getting extremely upset as it just did not work, and the teacher would not understand just how impossible it is for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 166

Pet peeve

By Cherry Bomb - 05/10/2025 20:00

Today, I had to interview someone for a news article. Nothing too serious, but the person I was interviewing answered every question with a sentence beginning with "I want to say…" It's one of my pet peeves and it took a lot for me to not ask them to stop or I'd walk out. Yes, I'm a petty bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 349

Too late

By Kelly - 09/10/2025 09:00

Today, I stayed late at work to finish a project. The lights are motion-sensor activated, and they turned off while I was in the bathroom. I stumbled out in total darkness and screamed when I saw a shadowy figure. It was the janitor. He screamed too. We both apologized to each other for way too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 97

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 06:00

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 210

Noise complaint

By TeaTimeAbyss - 03/12/2022 16:00

Today, without any form of notice, my landlord started working on the upstairs windows at 6:30am. I have an at-home appointment at 8:30 for my autistic son that I can't move or postpone without notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 127

Never enough

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours in town getting everything I'd need to make dinner, taking the cat to the vet, getting gardening supplies, and filling up our extra tanks with gas for the mowers. I came home, only for Mom to wordlessly plunk down an empty pack of cigarettes, and grin like a Cheshire cat, then sip her wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 74

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 103

Unreliable

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, despite getting to the bus stop early, the first bus didn’t turn up. The second one was late, and severe traffic caused me to be late for work. I can’t afford for my wages to be docked from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 124

Slammed

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 03:00

Today, I walked into court with DNA evidence my ex-wife’s 5 month old son isn’t mine, and somehow I walked out of court still required to pay child support to my cheating whore ex. How is this legal? He’s not mine. I’m not even on the birth certificate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 90

Welcome to the rest of your life

By jason - 24/04/2024 21:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 118

Health hazard

By Cupboard? More like headboard - 11/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my mom always forgets to close the cupboards in the kitchen. She's not tall enough to hit her head on them, but I am. I have done so at least a dozen times in the past week. I swear, I'm gonna knock myself out on those cupboards one of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 223

Squeaking the day away

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 12:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 93

Sleep Schedule Struggles

By FML Videos - 23/08/2018 19:30

The end of summer vacation means no more 4am bedtime!

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 117

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was waiting for an online appointment with my doctor, she joined the video chat right as I had my head turned to say to my cat, “Stop licking your butt, people are watching!” My doctor then made her presence known by jokingly saying, “I can only treat you, not your cat.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 147

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 882

You deserved it 57 461

Today, while holding the door open for a stranger, I thought I was being polite. She walked through, smiled at me, and said, "Thanks, but you didn’t have to follow me into the bathroom." I hadn’t noticed the door led to the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 401

Today, after I had drunk sex with my lesbian best friend a few months ago, she’s now pregnant and isn’t my friend anymore, because I apparently ruined her life, as her girlfriend dumped her, she’s already getting fat, and it’s too late to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 1 829

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 336

Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 053

You deserved it 1 954