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Dependency

By This is my life now - 12/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that even if I do get financially stable enough to move out, I still won't be able to because my mom's awful fibromyalgia/arthritis combo has gotten to the point where she can barely get out of bed sometimes. It's so bad that my dad and I almost qualify to get paid just to take care of her. FML

agreeclassic 464

vote type 1 75

The DIY trap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to save money by fixing a leaky sink myself. Fifteen minutes and three tools later, I had flooded under-sink cabinets and a new appreciation for plumbers. My landlord arrived with a wrench and a look that said ‘you’ll learn.’ I learned to call professionals first. FML

agreeclassic 82

vote type 1 339

Many such cases!

By Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML

agreeclassic 136

vote type 1 42

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 135

vote type 1 464

Bedtime

By FML Videos - 21/09/2018 00:30

I believe I can fly...

agreeclassic 257

vote type 1 68

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

agreeclassic 466

vote type 1 144

You have arrived at your destination

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 10:00

Today, an Edible Arrangements driver knocked on my door with the most delicious-looking gift! He was just asking for directions. FML

agreeclassic 714

vote type 1 130

Do as I say…

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my mother woke up again in a bad mood due to the quarantine and went off on how us siblings complain about each other all the time. Truth is, she's the one complaining non stop about whichever sibling is not in the room. FML

agreeclassic 1 394

vote type 1 119

Ban Zoom meetings

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

agreeclassic 201

vote type 1 513

Cum hoc ergo propter hoc

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I fell down my stairs twice after helping a senior get in her car. FML

agreeclassic 1 140

vote type 1 161

Dating Struggles

By FML Videos - 12/10/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Man down!

agreeclassic 250

vote type 1 107

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked into a conference room for what I thought was my department meeting. It turned out to be a support group for people with anger management issues. They weren't pleased with my suggestion to "calm down." FML

agreeclassic 134

vote type 1 522

Get me out of this mess!

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, two more years until I can move out. My mom takes up so much space in the house, even in my room, I don't even have enough space for my own clothes, and I'm not allowed to get rid of ones that don't fit. How am I supposed to survive another two years here when I have a breakdown about her suffocating me once a week? FML

agreeclassic 472

vote type 1 106

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

agreeclassic 10 623

vote type 1 42 675

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 02:01 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

agreeclassic 639

vote type 1 1 145

Ride the tiger

By Tytonic - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I took a few Advil. They weren't Advil. My dad mixed the containers and I have no idea what I just took. FML

agreeclassic 1 341

vote type 1 136

Practice makes perfect

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 13:00

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

agreeclassic 741

vote type 1 172

By Flicker - 14/05/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

agreeclassic 128 059

vote type 1 12 612

Kitten Struggles

By FML Videos - 01/11/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

I don't get no respect!

agreeclassic 285

vote type 1 92

Last laugh

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

agreeclassic 767

vote type 1 124

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

agreeclassic 624

vote type 1 258

Extra protein

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 05:00 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I cooked pork chops on my wok that had been hanging on the pot hangers without rinsing it off. Just when I was about to eat, I saw a fried up spider. FML

agreeclassic 90

vote type 1 540

Cats will be cats

By Seasoned Cat Veteran - 18/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm watching my brother's cat while he's gone. I'm a seasoned cat veteran, having been around cats my whole life, but I never thought I would ever have to say, "Bob, why did you jump into the trashcan again?" with complete seriousness. This cat is WEIRD. And I've seen quite a few oddball cats before. FML

agreeclassic 673

vote type 1 200

Could go either way, tbh

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

agreeclassic 158

vote type 1 348

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

agreeclassic 704

vote type 1 132

Holidays are a serious business

By Lewis - 21/12/2018 00:30

Ain't nobody got time for that!

agreeclassic 255

vote type 1 86

Charming

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

agreeclassic 378

vote type 1 118

Cars these days…

By Kevin - 08/10/2024 12:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, my relatively new car locked down, with my keys inside of it, while it was still running. In a panic because it was getting dark and I was already low on fuel, I called a locksmith. He showed up and told me he needed to see some ID before unlocking the car. My ID was in the car. FML

agreeclassic 433

vote type 1 115

I can't catch a break

By Alex - 12/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend, who I thought was finally out of my life for good, is now dating my new manager. FML

agreeclassic 420

vote type 1 69

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

agreeclassic 390

vote type 1 133

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both Myspace and Facebook before saying to me that he was, "too busy to have sex." FML

agreeclassic 30 915

vote type 1 5 698

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

agreeclassic 35 055

vote type 1 2 036

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

agreeclassic 20 515

vote type 1 52 523

Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 501

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

agreeclassic 4 662

vote type 1 471

Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML

agreeclassic 1 290

vote type 1 399