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Parting gift

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 02:00

Today, I was diagnosed with Covid. I've been living with my ex for 8 months. They started dating again, and their new partner broke up with them and gave them Covid, then my ex gave it to me. I was supposed to move out, and now I have to delay it further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 274

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 1 315

The situation

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 14:00 - Netherlands - Katwijk aan Zee

Today, I was talking to my situationship when he dropped the bomb that he wanted to break up, and that he'd tested positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 199

Which way now?

By Nadia - 03/03/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 129

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 14:00

Today, I quit my job after being the only one to do my job, the boss's job, and the other guy’s job. Their way of saying thank you for being the best employee they'd had was to fuck me on my paycheque and give me $70 for a week's work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 124

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 18:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, because of my anxiety, which causes me to procrastinate, I left an assignment until the last minute. I got 18/40 and it was a 'must pass' to complete the unit. I don't know whether to just say fuck it and drop out now, or continue and do the final exam for this subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 981

Gaslighting

By Danilo - 03/06/2022 10:00

Today, my promotion at work was revoked and I was written up, all because some customer decided to write a negative review about me on Google. Apparently, I was “rude” to her and “rolled my eyes at her” and called her stupid. I never met this woman a day in my life, and they won’t believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 145

Mystery

By Gary - 14/03/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

Today, I was pulled into an office by the head of my college department. I was told that I was “making someone uncomfortable” but refused to elaborate on who it was, or what I’d done wrong. How am I supposed to fix a problem if I don’t know what the problem is? FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 92

Right place, wrong body

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 14:00

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 171

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 80

Late night

By Ring a ding ding - 15/10/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 131

**** you, Steve

By Not Steve - 08/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, after my company laid off half the contractors I usually deal with and replaced them with AI tools, I spent my day “collaborating” with a chatbot that keeps calling me Steve. My name isn’t Steve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 64

My body is a temple

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 10:00

Today, I went to hospital with chest pain and they discovered I need a triple bypass for three arteries clogged with fat. The doctor assumed from my scans that I must be middle aged or older because he’d never seen three arteries clogged so badly on someone under 50. I’m 27 FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 324

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 134

Living alone, but not really

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 142

Cats hate Sundays

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 158

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 94

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:00

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 128

Burn baby burn

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 06:00

Today, I was on the road, driving home. Before I'd headed out, I'd scored six amazing large house plants for free. My kids picked them up for me, and delivered them to my dining room. My husband put them out on the patio for me, in the sun, and burned them. Bye bye $100+ in free plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 210

Sorry Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, to tease my cat for his naughty behavior and tendency to fart upon getting onto my lap, I tried to return the favor by farting on him while he was cleaning himself. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 702

Everyone does

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 02:00

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 697

Communication unclear

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 18:00 - Germany

Today, I said to my man, "You used to tell me you love me, but lately you don’t even want me telling you." He responded with a story about his clogged shower drain and then couldn’t understand why I got upset, because apparently this was his “reply to the question I asked.” WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 141

Teddy

By Anonymous - 03/06/2021 08:01

Today, I thought babysitting my nephew would be easy. WRONG. He put his wet teddy on the space heater to dry, and caused a fire. While I was putting the fire out, he decided to wash his burnt teddy in the sink, which blocked the plug and flooded my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 281

Classic confusion

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 05:00

Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 199

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 2 210

Rough night

By paul - 01/06/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. from a nightmare in which my stalker ex was my Uber driver, but I woke up before he killed me. I fell back asleep and woke up after several more people attacked me and I fought them off with pepper spray, and found out more people were looking for me because they got 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 89

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 160

Doggy dog world

By Simon E - 03/12/2023 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I was in a Teams call with my work team, and I was getting really annoyed at a woman in the team just waffling on about nothing, I yelled, "Just shut up you fat pig, shut up!", not knowing my mic was unmuted, I had to lie, saying I was yelling at my dog for barking. Not sure anyone believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 085

Never in public

By Red - 02/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a beautiful park. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for some fat incel recording it on his phone, yelling about how much of a douche my boyfriend is, and how I'm such a "Stacy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 90

A pin drop

By Kerry - 03/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I received a "Reply All" email from a colleague, in which they vented their frustration with our boss. Unbeknownst to them, our boss was included in the distribution list. Our whole open plan office became a silent comedy of awkward glances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 122

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The Top

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 057

You deserved it 5 550

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 2 569

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 145

You deserved it 4 929

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 922

You deserved it 3 681

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 211

Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 225