The Top

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This is a low

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 06:00

Today, I’m at a low point. I sank low enough to ask a coworker I don’t even like for a pity shag to boost my self esteem. The sex was great, excellent even, but when he left this morning I now feel even lower because I feel cheap and nasty, and I almost had to beg for someone to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 2 012

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got asked, “And you are…?” by a senior colleague while in a morning meeting at work. I’ve been working here for 3 months and I've already introduced myself multiple times to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 121

Betrayal #4474

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that all the times my boyfriend says he's in the bathroom with horrible diarrhea, he's actually sitting there smoking crack and talking to other women. I've dedicated everything in my life to him. I feel so brokenhearted and defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 175

The X factor

By May need earplugs - 05/08/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sings in his room a lot. He has a horrible singing voice, but his dog trying to harmonize with him by howling at the top of its lungs makes it even more unbearable. Worst duet performance ever. And he does it every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 25/06/2019 05:00

Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 392

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 122

Harsh

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Coraopolis

Today, I opened my own flower shop. My mom's response was, "Get a job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 80

Waterworks

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I took an allergy skin test and turns out I’m allergic to dogs. Three weeks ago, I adopted a new puppy to help with my depression, but within a few days I was coughing, sneezing, and having watery eyes. I’ve previously had a dog for 10 years and I was never allergic to it. I don’t wanna give the new one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 94

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 117

Be precise

By Loveless - 07/03/2021 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 278

These boots are made for walking

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 05:01

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 372

Confused?

By UghIgiveup - 18/08/2023 04:00

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 117

To each their own

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 21:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I messaged my two best friends for emotional support. I don't normally do this, as I feel like I'm bothering people, but I was having a breakdown. One never replied; the other said, "Everyone is having a hard time" then talked about her own problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 156

How the other half lives

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 04:00

Today, it's been a year since my divorce. My deadbeat bipolar ex-wife is on her third boyfriend. I'm raising both our kids solo and, despite trying, have not even been able to land a single date since we seperated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 122

You do you

By JesstheMess - 21/02/2025 17:00 - United States - Albertville

Today, dieting is making me depressed and I'm so hungry. I don't even care about losing weight, but my boyfriend is and he's doing a low fat diet with me for my health, so I'm going to do the low calorie thing with him. I also feel like I'm not doing well enough in the gym and it's hurting so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 206

Unhealthy

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I realized that for 31 years I have been defending our children to their father. Our oldest is 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 227

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 129

Feral baby

By sad cat owner - 26/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I had to make the difficult decision to get rid of my cat. He's terrible around unfamiliar people and always attacks them on sight, completely unprovoked. He even does this to my niece, who isn't even a year old. Still, he's such a sweetie despite his lack of people skills, so I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 271

I swear

By maharaja - 06/08/2019 12:00

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 135

ESP like… telepathic?

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 17:02 - United States - Chicago

Today, I'm tired, on Benadryl, temporarily moved into my mom’s house because my roommate chose to get an ESP dog who sheds, even though I told them I'm anaphylactic crazy allergic. They won’t get rid of the dog and I can’t afford to break the lease. I'm also flunking all my classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 158

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 04/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 610

Cats give great advice like "Shit in a box!"

By can't sleep - 09/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 280

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 1 314

PTSD

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 20:00

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 297

Rats!

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 13:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I'm feeling extremely sick and itchy. I'd bought rats as pets to help with my anxiety, and they gave me ringworm. I now have ringworm in about nine places on my body, including my face. I don’t know which one is worse, being dizzy from the medication or the itching. I’m feeling more anxious than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 605

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By unhealthy - 05/07/2022 06:00

Today, my friend went on a lengthy rant about how people are "healthy at any size" and I need to embrace fat pride, after I said I intend to lose weight to alleviate my digestive and breathing troubles. Apparently her activist forum knows more about my health than my own doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 120

We meet again

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 07:30 - Germany

Today, it’s been 5 months since I can’t walk properly, 3 months that I’ve been waiting for a doctor’s appointment, and 1 day since I found out that the "top specialist" was in fact the same doofus who couldn’t help me with the same issue years ago. He was out of his depth as soon as nothing conclusive showed on the X-ray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 107

Come on, man

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 22:00

Today, I realized my boyfriend is more tough to deal with than any customer at my call center job, because all I do when I talk to him is use de-escalation and sympathization techniques used when customers are upset or angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 201

Et tu, Doggo?

By fml9124 - 05/09/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, my neighbor's 9 year-old son came over after school. I work from home so he stays until his mom gets home. My dog mopes around the house until 3 p.m., then gets all excited because he has a friend to play with. I'm almost jealous because a dog I've had for 11 years likes him more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 405

Priorities

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 82

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The Top

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 6 139

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 956

You deserved it 36 670

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 135

You deserved it 5 958

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 1 535

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 707

You deserved it 3 766

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 397

You deserved it 9 768