FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML

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By Dulok Warrior Princess - / Monday 10 September 2018 19:30 / United States - New York

Today, I got some news from two colleagues, one of whom just got married for the first time, and the other whose long-time wife was recently diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. I wrote each of them a heartfelt note, which would've been thoughtful if I hadn't mixed up the recipients. FML

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By Anonymous - / Thursday 21 September 2017 04:30 /

Today, I went to my kid's band concert. She's 12 and in the advanced team. They were the first ones to play and they were so incredibly bad that I laughed. Really, really loud. I was escorted out of the recital. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 12 March 2017 04:00 /

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

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By Dsark - / Wednesday 19 February 2014 05:12 / United States - San Diego

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

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By AwkwardPotato / Tuesday 2 July 2013 02:37 / United States - Bakersfield

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

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By Anonymous / Saturday 20 August 2011 07:42 / United States

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

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By Josie - / Monday 21 February 2011 07:46 / Australia

Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML

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By fmypaint - / Wednesday 14 October 2009 09:31 / United States

Happy birthday !

NataliaAlvarez17

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Today, I was awoken at 2AM being told to put some clothes on and get out as soon as possible, as the house is filled with smoke and flames are coming from...

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Today I was laying on my bed reading a book when my dog decided to jump on my stomach and use it as a trampoline as I doubled over in pain

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Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

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Today I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a junk pic'. FML

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Today was the first time my husband came since getting a vasectomy. Not a big deal except he did not tell me that it’s common for men to pass out the first...

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