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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    How did it come to this?

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I had to say, "Put away your burrito," "That ruler is not a lightsaber," and, "Stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 696
    You deserved it 5 357
    Share  

    Not missing out on much

    By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 02:01

    Today, my mom is obsessed with my academic success, as she was a highschool dropout, and actually gives me more homework than my school does, all so I’ll be more advanced than my peers. I barely know what a television is anymore, since it’s been so long I’ve had enough free time to watch one. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 989
    You deserved it 158
    Share  

    So do some adults…

    By geonix - 19/05/2021 08:00

    Today, I discovered that apparently my six-year-old daughter actually believes that the United States is the only country with advanced technology. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 770
    You deserved it 421
    Share  

    Workout

    By Demitrius_T - 19/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

    Today, after noticing weight gain, I purchased an ab belt. Despite no gym for around a year now, I assumed I could easily sustain an advanced level workout and put the belt on maximum strength. The first shock catapulted me off my feet and smacked my head into the wall, leaving a noticeable dent. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 285
    You deserved it 1 263
    Share  

    Wage slave

    By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 20:08 - United States

    Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 001
    You deserved it 111
    Share  

    Groove is in the Heart

    By samba_spaz - 19/09/2019 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

    Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 664
    You deserved it 2 115
    Share  

    By Dulok Warrior Princess - 10/09/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

    Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 434
    You deserved it 741
    Share  

    Slippin' up

    By Anonymous - 21/09/2017 04:30

    Today, I got some news from two colleagues, one of whom just got married for the first time, and the other whose long-time wife was recently diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. I wrote each of them a heartfelt note, which would've been thoughtful if I hadn't mixed up the recipients. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 083
    You deserved it 914
    Share  

    Nervous laughter

    By Anonymous - 12/03/2017 04:00

    Today, I went to my kid's band concert. She's 12 and in the advanced team. They were the first ones to play and they were so incredibly bad that I laughed. Really, really loud. I was escorted out of the recital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 309
    You deserved it 7 405
    Share  

    By Dsark - 19/02/2014 05:12 - United States - San Diego

    Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 44 310
    You deserved it 3 725
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    By AwkwardPotato - 02/07/2013 02:37 - United States - Bakersfield

    Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 919
    You deserved it 3 751
    Share  

    Randy buggers

    By Josie - 21/02/2011 07:46 - Australia

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 168
    You deserved it 3 833
    Share  

    By fmypaint - 14/10/2009 09:31 - United States

    Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 595
    You deserved it 35 333
    Share  
    • 1

    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Books Weird Religion Parents Kids Cops Pranks Annoying YouTube Health Bodyshaming Love Dad jokes Relatable My ex Allergies Sex Awkward Depression Housework Flowers Alcohol Intimacy Work Cheating Accident Painful Exhausted Sleep
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Aujourd'hui, j'ai laissé mon iPhone tout neuf sur mon balcon. Aujourd'hui, mon chat a voulu faire le malin sur mon balcon. Résultat : un des deux est mort accidentellement et l'autre, je ne vais sûrement pas tarder à le tuer. VDM
    I agree, your life sucks 93 980
    You deserved it 45 643
    Aujourd'hui, j'ai eu droit à un regard de jugement très sévère : celui de la sage femme venue ausculter mon nouveau né, alors que je venais de casser une bouteille de rhum sur moi parce qu'elle était en équilibre sur l'interphone. VDM
    I agree, your life sucks 3 325
    You deserved it 974
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 926
    You deserved it 12 666
    Today, I discovered that the vitamin I've been taking for hair growth actually works really well. Unfortunately, it only works on my leg hair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 689
    You deserved it 1 830
    Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 350
    You deserved it 1 142
    Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 037
    You deserved it 2 730
    Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 078
    You deserved it 2 094
    Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 808
    You deserved it 2 423
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