FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, I went to my kid's band concert. She's 12 and in the advanced team. They were the first ones to play and they were so incredibly bad that I laughed. Really, really loud. I was escorted out of the recital. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 7 March 2017 20:23 /

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

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By Dsark - / Wednesday 19 February 2014 05:12 / United States - San Diego

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

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By AwkwardPotato / Tuesday 2 July 2013 02:37 / United States - Bakersfield

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

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By Anonymous / Saturday 20 August 2011 07:42 / United States

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

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By Josie - / Monday 21 February 2011 07:46 / Australia

Today, I was vigorously putting primer on my canvas for a beginning painting class. I accidentally sprayed specks of primer on the very dark painting to the right of mine. The painter is in an advanced class. She's been working on this one all semester. There's no one to her right. FML

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By fmypaint - / Wednesday 14 October 2009 09:31 / United States

FML

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Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought....

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table...

Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and...

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

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Nearly

Today I gave my out of work husband $250 because he was LITERALLY crying that he didn't have enough money to pay his car insurance. Then he went to the...

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Today, my 11 year old sleeps with a sleeping mask on, but needs her bedroom door open because "I don't like it too dark" FML.

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Venezuela

Today, I was alone in the house at night when I almost died of fright after seeing a woman staring at me through the window. I screamed before realizing...

Argentina

Today, I chose a new song to be the ringtone for my new cell phone. After waiting all day for someone to call me, I had to ask my husband, who was sitting...

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Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted...

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