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Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38579) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45453) - you deserved it (18556)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67964) - you deserved it (5796)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (3493)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

#3708472
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (10750)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by zombielover1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (40098)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

#3701383
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (18235)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Raaaaaaarrrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44222) - you deserved it (11187)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

#3690110
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (48654)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by divineinstrument (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

#3687656
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44047) - you deserved it (20907)

On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47821) - you deserved it (4675)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49461) - you deserved it (2136)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (20572)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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