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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (5033)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (2572)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (8285)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (3115)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (3923)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (5788)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML

#8756246
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (24591)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by whywilson.. (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47736) - you deserved it (10474)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (6296)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (5975)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)



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