Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
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Top comments
say_what2032 12
You're 23 and you still have allowance?
UH60 26
Why do you have an allowance at 23
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Comments (129)
Silk_Routes 14
Quite a heavy price this time...dare to afford
chrisbeaudoin 26
What?
say_what2032 12
You're 23 and you still have allowance?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I think it's pretty clear that OP's dad was so drunk that he forgot his son is not a kid anymore, therefore he thought he would punish him by cancelling his allowance...
rainbowsRlove 15
I'm 27 with an allowance its called a pay check
Steve97 32
Ikr I was gonna hit fyl until I saw that he still gets an allowance. Maybe this will make OP grow up and get a job.
Anti_Sora 31
25, When my grandpa is drunk he thinks I'm 15. I am 20.
NozomiTojo 21
#25, you don't know whether OP has a job or not.
Steve97 32
Op sounds like he relies on his parents allowance I've been working since I was a teenager so op has no right to complain when he's fully capable of at least getting a part time job. I don't get why you people are down voting
leogachi 15
@64 They're down voting because you assumed Op isn't working. This could have happened in Op's own home, which he pays for with his own money. Maybe I've seen too much of The Bing Bang Theory, but Op could be a self-sufficient adult who happens to get an allowance from his parents.
silversolo 15
OP probably doesn't have an allowance, but since his father is drunk, he probably thought that OP was still 10 or something and that he still had allowance, so he cancelled it. OP most likely does have a job.
toomanyidiots 14
@25 "Since I was a teenager" You're sixteen... You're still a kid, stop pretending you're an adult if you can't even act the part.
gogo44444 28
I'm 14 and never in my life have gotten an allowance
russfml 31
You're 16... You still are a teenager, kiddo. Wait till you get a real job
xx000o 27
If I were 23 and still receiving an allowance, regardless of the situation I would not be telling the world about it.
DemonBoy1988 22
you sir, are a boss
UH60 26
Why do you have an allowance at 23
allforfun 23
My thoughts wxactly
squizzlebee 19
I've just turned 23 and until recently I was still getting allowance from my mum because I was studying away from home and only worked part time. Maybe OP's still living at home to study and gets allowance through having no time to work, or not had much luck job-hunting and can't afford to move out yet. And regardless of why OP is still receiving allowance and living at home at 23, accidentally stubbing your toe on your drunk passed-out father is still a stupid reason for it to be withdrawn in my opinion.
exergency 17
It's his way of saying you should get your own place.
sweetbliss3 37
and a job.
chinaski7628 32
To be fair, #4, this could very well have happened at OP's own place. My family all have keys to my apartment (thank goodness they also have a sense of boundaries). It's also possible OP is the responsible one and dad is living with/staying with OP. It's also possible (since OP is the one up in the morning) that OP has a job or is going to school. Best not to judge without all the facts and just empathize with OP.
Indiantrolledd 16
Well maybe you should move out?
whitnayfortooh 29
better get a job eh
potatoe_barf 13
Well, maybe you should not be in your father's place and also, why do you need an allowance at 23. Find a job.
littlekellilee 45
Looking at OP's location, rent around Alberta can start around $1 500. OP may be living at home until he can afford a down payment on a house. As well, Alberta has been hit hard by the oil and gas recession so he could have had a job and lost it, like a large majority of the province. Don't be so quick to judge. I'm 26 and living at home, but have a full time job. I'm just about to move into the condo I finally bought.
pink_lightning 16
I live in alberta. The oil and gas recession just hit, but the last 10 years jobs have been everywhere, everyone was hiring, and not for minimum wage either. At 23, he's had plenty of time to get established before the plummet. Voiding personal circumstances of course.
organizse 28
Move out maybe?
gosh_mate 30
Well it's his fault for passing out drunk on the kitchen floor... However, maybe you should look into finding a job, so that your parents don't have such a high level of control in your life.
BrailynRaylynn 22
Maybe OP's dad was so drunk he forgot that OP wasn't a kid anymore and thought he could punish by cancelling his allowance.
rainbowsRlove 15
umm so much wrong in this fml.