Miscellaneous: Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk...

By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 710

You deserved it 1 819

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 6 047

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 6 178

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 134

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 769

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 581

You deserved it 3 905

By blinkme - 28/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 696

You deserved it 13 802

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 12:00

Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 118

Pish yerself

By breyn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 022

You deserved it 2 512

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 343

You deserved it 2 256

justanonymous123 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished.

stryder9090 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:10

A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!

Comments

justanonymous123 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished.

ohkitty 21

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:03

who else sang this in their heads to the tune of the Wicked song No Good Deed?

DamnBailie 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:09

At least your heart was in the right place. No everyone would have helped, and Im sure some good karma will come your way soon (:

stryder9090 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:10

A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!

FlyestBoy 11

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:26

Are you the hulk by any chance?

NotGabe 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:14

Oh that's nasty.

mds9986 24

Thursday 27 August 2015 18:14

Every time I read this sentence I read it in cleveland's voice without thinking about it.

fml510605 16

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:15

What a warm hug

StupidUsername89 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:16

At lest you helped him. Hope u got cleaned up

daddysgirl243 21

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:19

urine a gross situation there

StupidUsername89 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:20

That's a sticky situation. Hope you got some good karma for helping him.

sweetbliss3 37

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:05

what kind of pee do you have that's sticky? I don't condone it, but hell, even "a wet situation" would have made more sense.

Psycocharger 19

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:21

Well, at least you helped him, good job OP!

Swandive235 27

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:26

This is why I don't hug people, ever.

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The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 585

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I was supposed to get married. Unfortunately, it was cancelled because of the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 278

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 008

You deserved it 4 493

Today, I went bowling with my family. When my brother went up to buy a drink refill, the guy at the counter kindly refilled it for free and told him that he thought I was pretty. My dad laughed and shouted, "Pretty ugly!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 877

You deserved it 423

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 431

You deserved it 13 249

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 401

You deserved it 60 562

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 489

You deserved it 10 680