Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Anger management
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
Dope
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Stoner
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Bad grandma
Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML
Sneaky dad
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Top comments
tony1891 22
should have smoked it. at least then it'd be worth getting grounded for.
xFluttershy 7
I tried smoking weed once when I was a little kid, then I found out that there were two kinds of "weed" and I had the wrong kind.
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Comments (246)
furry_fml 6
You shouldn't have found it then
Doortje 29
Yeah, screw you OP for finding it! Wait, no, screw you #1 for making such a moronic comment.
BunchieRules 31
Maybe OP wasn't necessarily searching through their things, but happened to see it sitting somewhere blatantly obvious. Either way, OP shouldn't be punished for finding the parents' drugs. Although, I think there may be an interesting bribe opportunity here...
afunnyterdcody 5
Obviously OP did more than find it....
Daftendirekt1 0
Not really #22... It's possible but it's not blatantly obvious. Especially judging by the fact that the 'irony is killing me right now'.
amanda_d95 9
They were probably high when the grounded you. It would make sense
Drigr 9
Yeah, you don't exactly have to go looking for that stuff to find it. My dad keeps his in an otherwise empty drawer in his tool box, I found it while looking for a tape measure.
ganjaranja 10
You should smoke it, I mean, how else are you supposed to pass your time being grounded? ;)
hunterluv1 20
140 - ...wait.... Your dad keeps his what? Haha
hunterluv1 20
Omg I'm an idiot hahha I thought you meant something other than weed sorry hahahhaha
aaahhhfire21 0
192/194 thought u made a stoner joke for a sec. Shoulda left it at the first comment
xx000o 27
Did you get grounded?
Ajwc101 24
22 Maybe OP doesn't do drugs.
I_lost_the_game 25
213- Now, whatever gave you that idea(?)
KtKD54 2
Nice cupcake
kprando25 8
213: No shit Sherlock
tony1891 22
should have smoked it. at least then it'd be worth getting grounded for.
Keevarou 17
In my opinion, I would rather go to jail than to smoke weed. And I'm sure the op prefer getting grounded than to smoke the weed, or else he would have stolen some probably.
kiran_fml 5
Maybe they found out about it by catching him smoking it.
GothicAngel17 24
14- Weed isn't that bad, sheesh. Although it does affect brain development if it is smoked before the age of 25. It's not as if it's a dangerous narcotic or something. To be honest I think tobacco is worse. But hey, each to their own I suppose.
Daftendirekt1 0
14 - Then you're stupid. I don't smoke weed and don't intend to, but it's not addictive. With the levels of THC in them nowadays, they can cause brain problems if smoked too much, but if you limit yourself you should be fine. (I think this is right...)
ManInTheMachine 19
44-He's stupid for having a different opinion to yours? If you disagree with him, then fine. But don't be an asshole about it.
samlloyd1976 1
47-no, he's stupid because he'd rather go to jail than smoke weed. Has he ever been to jail? F his life if he's serious.
ManInTheMachine 19
48-That's the part that was an opinion. If he'd rather do that, then that's his perogative. It doesn't make him stupid. Honestly, with this issue there are strong arguments on both sides, so it's difficult for me to firmly take a side. So instead, I just read what each side has to say about it...objectively, rather than being opinionated.
ninjacutie 6
In my personal opinion weed is really not that bad, I obviously see the negative effects for someone who smokes quite often but for someone who only does on special occasions or maybe ever week it really doesn't do anything that bad, I only smoke maybe once a week and I'm still on honor roll I still have a great GPA... it's only when you abuse like my mom did that you end up really screwed :p
datoismyname 22
#64 I don't think you should smoke weed at all. If your mom abused it then you have a higher chance of becoming addicted and abusing it also.
citymayer 7
Cant people just NOT want to do drugs of any kind ever bc they just don't want to? Do they HAVE to be ignorant about drugs if they don't want to? Does it ******* matter if they want to do drugs or not. Personally, I think drugs are stupid and if your life revolves around it, yes even weed, then you might want to reevaluate a few things.
hockeyoceancity 13
Jesus Christ people. What day and age will it be when everyone stops bitching about a PLANT being smoked its a damn herb. It's used medically. Yoi can't even overdose on it. Listen to this. He meds your doctor gives you, read the side effects. Most of them say, could cost failure of some organ or death or some bad side effect. This is weed's side effect. Amazing ass time for few hours. Minor brain cells lost( you make so many in one day unless you're a pothead it won't effect you really) No connections to cancer. You may run slighty smaller distances since you are smoking. Also it's used as a painkiller for cancer patients and many more medical problems, stimulate appetite and alleviate cachexia, control nausea and vomiting associated with cancer chemotherapy, decrease intraocular pressure, analgesia, and neurological and movement disorders and many more. So please you uneducated people about marijuana maybe go research it before jumping to conclusions on how it's bad for you. In addition it would make billions of dollars surplus in this country, Dutch has made, don't quote me but i know it's between 3.2-4.2 billion dollars a year, USA would defiently make more. Also crime rate would go down... Create more jobs and countless people from going to jail which would save us a outstanding amount of money.
Colonel_Lexi 18
14-Weed does less damage than alcohol; would you rather to go jail than drink alcohol too?
xleanne_aLly 23
Lol you THINK tabbaco is worst than weed? Really?
betteryouthanmee 3
#66.....actually the chance of zero has become increased to zero because YOU CANNOT BE ADDICTED TO WEED. you can want it, but it has the addictive qualities of something like pizza. also, I have mixed feelings about legalizing it, but I do think that things like cigarettes which are much more harmful should not be legal if weed isn't. There's not much of a balance.
staymintyfresh 13
I feel like the only way people say they hate drugs, have never done any, I understand the dangers and such, but they're pretty fun! Ha (I respect peoples opinions though) I've tried a variety of drugs during my life, I tried marijuana in 6th grade, but I don't do any on a regular basis, but my family always has a track record of trying everything when they're young and then quitting easily I've never been addicted. My dad was the craziest person when he was younger, he has gone on to very successful. I suppose that makes Me lean to the positive drug side, but I have seen it ruin people's lives, so I think it's all in being responsible about drugs.
the_enigma1019 1
Weed may not be addictive in medical terms, but people begin to use it more and more, and you cannot tell me that potheads are not addicted in some form.
LAMKWHIM 11
I agree that tobacco is worsein terms of the physical effects but I know so many people who have suffered mental illness due to smoking weed. My Aunty was with a guy who smoked weed his whole life and developed schizophrenia and he picked her up and threw her across the room (and she is a pretty big lady) in front of their four year old son. Also, my step grandmother's daughter developed bipolar disorder from smoking weed. And OP, I feel sorry for you having to live with parents like that. Even if you did smoke it they shouldn't punish you. You're only following their bad example!
horneyhic 15
Weed has never been proven to cause mental disorders the current thinking is that ppl with latent mental disorders try it to escape and when they later become full blown they look for something to blame
horneyhic 15
U prefer ass rape and shiving to smoke?? HIV and death seem to be considerably worse then anything weed could possibly do **** I'd try heroin over jail
hockeyoceancity 13
87- Like someone else commented saying weed is as addictive as pizza, weed has no nigotine in it and is not addictive at all, pick your favorite food that you eat alot of, that's what kind of addiction weed is to people, it's more of just something you like just like food tastes good, nigotine is a completely different kid of addiction same with herion addicion, weed is not nearly the same.
horneyhic 15
53 it kinda does make him stupid cause it's kinda a bit of cut off ur nose to spite ur face he's choosing a criminal record and the dangers of jail over 4-6h of being high which will not wreck his life
jizzwold 21
I don't think any of our opinions are going to be changed by essentially yelling at each other over the Internet.
MarisaCB 16
I'm gonna nerd it up! First of all, marijuana is one of the least addictive drugs out there. But it can affect brain development, like someone said earlier. What most people don't realize is that smoking a joint and smoking a cigarette has pretty much the same effect on the lungs. Both types of smoke has many of the same toxins. So really, while if you do want to do drugs, marijuana is one of the better options over cocaine or heroin, it's still harmful. So don't think that it's "healthy" because it's "organic" or anything.
cdypoore 0
Marijuana is better than tobacco. Its a drug, but since it can't be sold legally, it would just be the plant being smoked. There are poisons added to cigarettes along with tar and other crap. Marijuana won't have any of that added since its illegal, there are no companies trying to raise its price.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It appears Weed War II has broken out.
cdypoore 0
And I smoke it maybe once every other week. I still have a gpa of 98%, I'm in the national honor society, and I'm ranked 25th in my school. Since my gpa has gone up since I started smoking pot, I feel that it doesn't make people stupid, but stupid people blame pot for why they're stupid.
acrilan 0
Dude u cant get addicted to it -_-
reddudeover 2
110 - Get a vaporizer, smoke toxins gone.
horneyhic 15
110 they say it has the same toxins but a fox news published study showed that pot smokers had a 2% higher lung cancer rate and the Margin of error for the study was 3% 9x out of 10
SenselessPattern 12
i'm gonna add my own three cents to this discussion and add that as a student in a school with abundant marijuana smokers, dealing with "potheads" can be infinitely frustrating when trying to do anything besides joke around with them. Based on this and the fact that concentration in school never hurts, I believe it does have a harmful affect on children at least. Adults may be a different story though.
Ray_of_midnight 22
Yeah, that was gonna be my guess.
onlychildFTW 33
14 - I agree with you 100%
horneyhic 15
152 youd get stabbed and raped and have a criminal record then smoke weed?
CVTrojans21 1
70, once your brain cells are gone they are gone. They don't grow back.
tedmush 7
FYI you don't actually regenerate brain cells you only lose them, aside from that you're largely right.
RS795 8
Brain cells don't reproduce...
meagy 6
Kids, don't do drugs.
CVTrojans21 1
173, my brain isn't working well right now so I'm not entirely sure whether you are agreeing with me or if the "FYL" was directed towards me. However, regardless of that, the human body doesn't make more brain cells or muscle cells. It only repairs them if possible, which will probably end up as scar tissue in a muscle. My arguments carry no weight considering I'm still just a student in highschool so someone, preferably a medical doctor, please help out here if necessary. Or better yet, it's probably on the internet somewhere, so google it. And if I'm wrong, well just correct me and I'll wait for the flood of thumb downs.
CVTrojans21 1
Oh sorry 180, didn't notice you had posted that and agreed. That makes my human body rant worthless haha.
NoisyNykkii 10
70- Go back to science class. Brain cells are the ONLY cells that don't go through the cell life cycle. They never reproduce, so you never get more. The brain cells you have now are the exact same you had at the age of one. Where is DocBastard when you need him?
CVTrojans21 1
I apologize 173. I just realized that your comment says FYI not FYL. NOW it all makes sense.
horneyhic 15
Nerve cells are not reproduced brain cells are nerve cells however weed does not kill brain cells that alcohol. However all other cells do reproduce
aliLu 0
it is, nicotine is addictive & weed isn't addictive
hoSSome 5
Marijuana doesn't destroy brain cells it essentially clogs them for weeks after you stop using Marijuana. So stop with all the shit. No one knows how good or bad it is for you because no REAL studies have been done because it is illegal to have. The only studies will be done by the government and those will be biased. So before you go arguing over something that has no facts
SwaggerMelon 6
Every single person on this thread who defended weed is a pot head.
SenselessPattern 12
That's why it's so heated. Everyone is trying to get high-er voted comments so that they can smoke everyone else with their "imagined superiority". 3 easter eggs are hidden above....(puns!!!!!wooo!!!!!)
Krysk_fml 0
Walls of text, walls of text everywhere!
thisisafunnyname 12
I read a few comments then skipped to the bottom
horneyhic 15
200 it doesn't clog brain cells it rewires them for a short time (hours in the case of an occasional smoker) in fact there have been studies on mental capacity and they showed 8h after the occasional smoker was back to normal
hurrican_fml 0
Uh, drugs are bad, mkay?
Laker_Fan_24 11
Best comment I've read on FML or maybe anywhere
CrystalWest 4
Lol I was gonna say the same thing
xFluttershy 7
I tried smoking weed once when I was a little kid, then I found out that there were two kinds of "weed" and I had the wrong kind.
itssosparkly 21
Yeah, no matter how many I smoke, I can just never seem to get high on dandelions...
Dr0reos 8
as long as they dont find you stash of cocaine you should be fine OP
FurryRocks 10
Go fluttershy brohoof
j_cat187 19
I've tried both; most weed is fairly weak, a good hash gets you so high you see things.
TheDrudgeChild 4
105 - you may want to look up what a pun is
Nutty4Muffs 3
169 - It wasn't a pun.
ch3s 4
#103 Brohoof.
bjoernabee 1
Shoulda sold it.
blondebrunette11 4
But then he'd be arrested.
skoob1 12
And we'd have to call him keev
hthelittleone 10
Shoulda smoked it
man2watch 0
Report them to the police! That ought to show them.
GothicAngel17 24
Oh shut up.
GothicAngel17 24
This was a repeat comment because it didn't turn up the first time -.- I'm just filling space here :)
Angel157 8
I don't think op wants his parents put in jail. I wouldn't report my parents if that happened because I don't want to end up in a foster home or living with some random people, and I actually care about my parents.
calvo_07 13
Man don't even say that! That ain't cool
lobum 12
It's in california, i'm guessing that they have medical marijuana cards.
c8750 2
Also, OP lives in California, so his parents probably have a medical marijuana card Edit: someone beat me to it :-)
hollywoodt1ts 15
you, sir, are an idiot. and are the reason the rest of the world hates America.
klovemachine 24
Stupid parents :( Call the cops and get them in trouble :D
mhopper 13
If OP is a minor (which is most likely the case for being grounded) child services comes in and may take him/her away from parents. It may seem funny to call the cops, but the consequences are astounding. Unless it's for medicinal purposes, of course.
GothicAngel17 24
29- if it were in Aus child safety wouldn't bother getting involved unless it was smoked in front of the kid. Here the parents would just get charged for possession of a dangerous drug.
mhopper 13
Unfortunately the law is more uptight in the states.
Fletchdads 9
Not in CALIFORNIA. They don't give two ***** about weed.
PrincessPesa 20
Actually they give approximately .5 ***** here in Los Angeles. It's a big state, guys! Though i'd say most dangerous drug offenders are NOT simply smoking marijuana. Usually it's meth that causes the murdering and face eating and stuff.
KiddNYC1O 20
Those Bath Salts, I tell ya.
peachesncreem 21
I would've asked them to share with me. They can't exactly tell you not to do it since they're doing it. It'd be hypocitical of them, right? :)
peachesncreem 21
Oops. There was supposed to be an R in hypocritical :D
Keevarou 17
Peach? If I abused drugs, I would still tell the children not to abuse drugs because of the dangers. If I had children ofc.
the_anti_hipster 7
"Do as I say, not as I do?" a little paradoxical, no?
GothicAngel17 24
17 has a point. Just because parents do something, that doesn't make it okay for their kids to do it. It's not hypocrisy; pArents are adults and able to make their own choices. A child still young enough to be grounded is not. So if they were alcos would that make it okay for OP to drink underage? Or since the parents have sex, does that make it okay for OP to have sex (if OP is underage)? No, it doesn't.
peachesncreem 21
Calm down guys. I was kidding. I can honestly say I've never done drugs in my life and would never give my consent to my children do drugs either. We don't know how old OP is. I had friends who still used to get grounded at 18-19 and still had curfew until 21.
1_dvs_bstrd 0
That's still hipocrasy though. Talking someone to not use drugs and then using them is hipocritical. However, it does depend on the matter at hand as to whether it is suitable.
KaiserSD 8
That's the joy and privilege of being a parent, you are allowed to be a hypocrite. Do as I say, not as I do and all that. I agree though, should've smoked it, would be worth getting grounded for.
klovemachine 24
No no no no NO it's not ok! Parents are supposed to be role models. Stupid potheads :(
horneyhic 15
Not paradoxical, hypocritical
akdakine1981 3
That's what you get for snooping around!
GothicAngel17 24
Who said OP was snooping around? It could have been in an obvious place, or OP might have been looking for some random object that had been misplaced, like nail clippers for example. I think it's extremely stupid of you to be making assumptions like that.
purpleisbloo 13
i'm sorry, but all i can do is laugh about this.
lolmister2 4
And your breasts are big they look nice
purpleisbloo 13
...thanks?
Keevarou 17
Creepy dude is creepy
purpleisbloo 13
and he's so blunt and obvious about it too haha
RussianFox 13
25- I suggest taking a new less revealing picture to prevent further creepers.
purpleisbloo 13
lol well it was the first time i've ever gotten a comment on that picture so i guess i didnt think it was too bad.. but i'll change it tomorrow anyway haha
blacksswan 10
.
BunchieRules 31
OP considers it ironic because s/he's getting punished, even though the parents are the ones with the drugs.