Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my professor why I’d missed two classes. Even with a doctor’s note explaining my very serious health issues, she rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maybe if you’re ‘oh so sick,’ you should just drop out!” Gee, sorry for trying to improve my life through adversity. FML
Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
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Top comments
GoW_Chick 15
He was basically saying he knew his professor was going to be a bitch about his cough and used pms as a way to explain it
Insane_Tea 15
We all have more than one brain? Then again they do say men think with their other "head". You know..the old reliable.. the sneaky snake... Penis
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Comments (56)
linkinpark98 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a ****!
kyarush 10
No.. Just no. Too far
deLongenator 4
Why do 14 yr olds love cussing... Looking at her profile.
gantzlord 5
If I was OPs teacher I would have just left class real quick and cleaned myself up.
zachherbert 10
Ohh Nooooo
glutgyoogle 6
I remember when i was 14 & thought i was the shit.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Im more interested in why OP knows what period blood smells like.
j_cat187 20
Ewwwww close your legs, it smells like a damn fish market.
kevsnev 7
Cough drops! :)
Idonebeenhad 17
34 - Because they ******* can you bitchshit. See what I did there? :3
kocoman500 2
what does the smelling of period blood have to do with the rest of the FML...?
AlaskaKid95 7
1- **** YoU!
StoryOfTheYear 15
89- Haw haw, you funnayyy.
Reid5 6
'Period blood smells like shrimp.'
HeartOfLead 24
#34 I agree, ugh children these days. P.S k00l pic.
HeartOfLead 24
#43 Ohhh Yeahhh
Serquet70 3
101- I think OP is trying to say that there were many females in the class on their period, meaning many of them are going to be excessively grumpy.
iMightBeYourDad 4
That isn't really an FML... :P
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It is when you're the one paying for your classes.
juliaispink 1
Ugh that sucks! Get better soon!
gamercanadian 11
Obviously it sucks, that's the reason why it's in fml
muzy 23
Is she even allowed to kick you out of the lecture? I mean with you paying tuition fees and all. You should have coughed in her face by "accident".
michellenKG 5
...what does period blood have to do with your cough?
dominic1221 6
*facepalm* Tell me you were just trying to get first post...
michellenKG 5
sadly no. im getting the feeling im missing something obvious here.
GoW_Chick 15
He was basically saying he knew his professor was going to be a bitch about his cough and used pms as a way to explain it
michellenKG 5
ah. got it.
missymay993 11
The teacher was on her period, and apparently it was obvious
dominic1221 6
It is obvious though. Just a matter of putting 2 and 2 together, come on guys. Use those brains we all have.
Insane_Tea 15
We all have more than one brain? Then again they do say men think with their other "head". You know..the old reliable.. the sneaky snake... Penis
sparkrok 8
PENIS
mango260 9
Lols before knowing that it was a dude, I thought it was a girl on her period and when she coughed she gushed blood and could smell it..... Then reading the other comments I now understand :)
Calyx_fml 22
He was coughing up menstrual blood. Probably from earning his red wings the night before.
noshatsherlockk 15
90- I'm on the mobile version. It says gender in the top right corner of the post. :)
CadyAsInKatie 8
56- ew. Just...ew.
SeeSea 11
ohhhhh...yeah I didn't catch that either..thanks!
sydie5 12
The menstrual cycle is hell and brings out the worst in us girls; she was only protecting you from a period-enraged beating from a college girl.
Llamacod 11
Instructor
mpsteve137 15
...why would you smell blood though?
mpsteve137 15
Oh someone already addressed that. I accept defeat.
ladyLALAA 29
Yeah, he was at the abotiour!
glenysrod17 0
That's disgusting!
twinny_sc 13
I don't understand why you smelling menstrual blood was essential to the FML. Wasn't the part about getting kicked out of class the FML?
sydie5 12
No, it was the embarrassment of unfairly being labeled "douchebag".
hateevryone 15
I would've stayed home.
juicypu55y 0
Ew, thats gross to say you could smell it
HeartOfLead 24
Dude, metaphor @ OP you should have asked her what was dripping down leg to piss her off(no pun intended, if you were special enough to read my comment and look at it... Umm... the way you looked at it), then proceeded to leave the classroom like a badass. *cue electric guitar in the background while OP walks in slow motion*