Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over and given a ticket for a broken tail light. On the way to the mechanic. To get my tail light fixed. FML
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
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Top comments
TinyEMT 6
Try not being a typical douchebag by trying to "hit it" and stick with saying thank you. Then maybe you won't look quite so pathetic. ;)
MetalxSoldier 26
I guess thats the only tail you're gonna smash tonight!
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Comments (98)
TinyEMT 6
Try not being a typical douchebag by trying to "hit it" and stick with saying thank you. Then maybe you won't look quite so pathetic. ;)
TinyEMT 6
Wow..definitely just realized I read the FML wrong. Now I look silly.
poprocksss73 7
No, you look silly when you correct yourself for having the wrong FML when it appears you did have the right one...
nava1210 12
10- No, you look silly for thinking that she looked silly for thinking her comment was silly when she rightfully corrected herself. She thought he meant "hit it" as in trying to have sex.
poprocksss73 7
I see, thanks for clearing that up!
TinyEMT 6
10- In my original comment I read "hit it" in a sexual way..as if he were trying to "hit it." That's what I was correcting myself on because obviously the OP meant hitting the tail light, not having sex. But Im fairly sleepy, so I obviously can't read well at the moment. :P
TinyEMT 6
11- I really wish I would have realized you posted that before I typed out my explanation. lol.
poprocksss73 7
I'm sleepy too so I think that's why I read your comment wrong! Sorry!! I give up for the day.
japtch 15
Everyone sleep. Goddamn.
Jonkbaby 23
you hit it and quit it?
MizzErikaHart 8
Op should have just stuck with thank you tho
courtneylius 2
Well instead of jumping to conclusions in his context like a typical douchebag, why not just say "sorry man" and go about your business?
sparto 0
Now you have a broken hand.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
sparto's logic + 5 stitches = broken hand ^ That right there is some good thinking! Someone that smart deserves a cookie! *gives sparto a cookie*
farhil 14
*steals Sparto's cookie*
RinaVampire31 18
Wow.. you totally deserve it.
dapickle 9
Nice zombie make up xD
Thisismypchere 8
She must be quite impressed.
GVirdi 11
Probably was When he asked who has 5 sticthes and a broken taillight "an idiot" popped up in my head, anyone else?
A100893 30
Whenever someone tries to act cool, something in the universe causes it to backfire.
brown4lifejot 1
Smartass. 'Something dosent work so kick it' Ya thats the worst solution ever
Marcelb 17
Actually in this case it could've worked. Just should've done it a little more gentle, instead of punching at it.
transilvanianson 3
It worked in the 1960-70's xD
MetalxSoldier 26
I guess thats the only tail you're gonna smash tonight!
Marcelb 17
Well, at least he definitely hit it off...
djn13 1
Nice one
docscientist 10
Idiot.
Pentium_4 27
YDI, but wow you must have hit it pretty damn hard
toenibbler 14
Anything to impress a girl huh?
LunaDragon 10
Lol this reminded me of that Simpson's episode where Homer hits the jukebox like he's Fonzie trying to be all cool, and smashes the glass cause him to bleed like crazy and passes out.
ajeppsen 25
Wasn't that from family guy?