Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Your death is affecting his GPA be kind and just die quietly... Library style
almost34 4
Choke him
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Comments (126)
almost34 4
Choke him
SkoomaKi 28
My thoughts exactly!
jweezy89 4
I'd have told you to shut up as well. I mean who can't drink water properly anyway?
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
that happened to me before...but no one heard...O.O
SystemofaBlink41 27
(in insecure voice) It'd be attemted murder-uaaah!
RrLSf19 0
I hate it when people do that to me!
Guren 0
Anybody notice she choked on water in her throat..?
causticgirl 6
65- I love your profile pic. What a cutie pie!!
n_epic_fail 14
70- do YOU choke out of anything other than your throat?
DayAndNite 8
Violence isn't the answer. It is the key.
blair_x 12
Sometimes water just goes down the wrong 'pipe,' so to speak. Sometimes you swallow too soon. Maybe you're distracted and you breathe too quickly or something. Accidents happen. Don't have to be an asshole about it #47.
humorizer 14
My mother had forced me to eat some rather large vitamin pills. I insisted that I always choke when I swallow things whole, but she still said I had to do it. Naturally, the vitamin b12 pill got lodged in my throat and I began coughing violently. I went to fill up a nearby glass with water and as I tried to drink the water (not successfully as it kept spurting back out due to the coughing), my mother scolded me for 'being disgusting and coughing into a glass that other people would use". She's lucky there are rules against killing one's parents. Just sayin'.
ciaobella89_fml 0
Well, this is obviously what modern society has come to... this, and people like snooki.
enonymous 9
Your death is affecting his GPA be kind and just die quietly... Library style
j_cat187 20
Well that's UCLA for you.
mama2b3 20
^ library style ftw
DayAndNite 8
At Penn State students choke on old man penis in their throats instead of water.
LightningCactus 12
Pardon?
DayAndNite 8
Yes, you are pardoned.
iBluePancake 4
Brilliant man.
aKaClickZ 4
Cough it all up on him
EatnBeef 7
If you're coughing then you're getting air. But he shouldnt have been an asshole
Almighty_Chris97 6
He could have just been like "shhh" but he just had to be a dick about it.
MuziKMajoR 5
Nail him in his Adams apple....while he is gasping for air tell him to shut up problem solved
SystemofaBlink41 27
Or or or! Offer him a bucket of creamed corn and then say "You can't have it!" and run away laughing like a maniac. Always works for me...
JurassicHole 5
64- What are you...I don't even...*facepalm*
SystemofaBlink41 27
Yeah, facepalm" jokes" are my specialty : /
stellasue11 38
i agree, thats what they should have done lol
zanguard 0
Sheesh OP, drown more quietly, would you?
Ins_Knie 2
Flunked Drinking 101...
TPSerigne 9
Honestly I think OP and microwave Einstein should get together.
Ins_Knie 2
Gives the word 'tea party' a new meaning... We need another FML where someone fails to dissolve sugar in water. lol
ICATiger 13
It's the survival of the fittest..... You have lost a game!
ImInYourFACEbook 8
The Hunger Games?
TheFirstSamurai 18
The Thirsty Games.
HetaliaFreak 10
This made me lose the Game.
shklee 1
It is so sad that this is how people are these days. I once saw people actually stepping over a lady that tripped. So much for chivalry! I would have helped you OP :(
yankfan89 27
How the OP was choking on water, it probably just went down wrong there would have been nothing you could do just wait for them to stop coughing. What OP should have done was walk out of the lecture until the coughing had stopped.
pinkcrayola 0
That works in theory, but honestly when you're coughing for breathe its hard to think about walking out of the room. And it's over so quickly they probably wouldn't have made it to the door on time.
shklee 1
Actually, usually I do that thing where you firmly pat them on the back to make it stop, but then, that wasn't even most of the point, It just bothers me that instead even wondering if the person choking next to you is alright, the guy only cared for his own annoyance. I think it's shameful some people show only this much compassion.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Maybe OP is a regularly disruptive classmate so when she choked they assumed she was just making noise. I know a few people like that.
anythingmustbe 18
You dont chock on water you drown.
Vamphyre73 12
I think it is choking if you don't die, when you do die then it is drowning. But I may be wrong.
GoW_Chick 15
You can choke on water if you are drinking it, that is like saying when I'm drinking coffee and I choke "you can't choke on coffee you drown," if you are submerged in water you can drown, then you would be dead.
cradle6 13
If you can make sound you aren't choking.
KiddNYC1O 22
9 is right. You CHOCK airplanes and trucks........
Pr0metheus 7
Technically even if they're not submerged in water it's considered drowning. Chocking is where a solid blocks your air flow, drowning is when liquid gets in your lungs keeping you from breathing properly
ladyLALAA 29
I thought to drown your lungs had to fill with water?
sceptic 1
Why would you expect otherwise?
Internut 6
Because it is nice to see some simple decency from time to time.
Pr0metheus 7
I think you have unrealistically high standards, I mean human decency, come on.