Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML
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Top comments
Aim4thebullseye 4
Shit you got pizza why you mad?
cumverg 0
The joke is old, grandpa
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Comments (138)
theaws0m3guy 4
...and you live in America.
HelloNoora1 0
...and
DKParth13 5
what's that suppose to mean??
DKParth13 5
are you dumb bro!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
I'm sure that's exactly what happened. Damn, you're a genius!
JesseOhNine 0
there was a lineup at Starbucks
cumverg 0
The joke is old, grandpa
flockz 20
maybe his pet dinosaur told him you never know.
iEatGuppies 0
did you forget your in america?
maths_fml 2
yea I came to comment the same thing and lol'ed at the first comment
rawrlily 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, if that pizza arrived in 30 minutes or less you have nothing to complain about. Also, how do we know the pizza didn't arrive 5 minutes later? Details needed.
dolphincheddar 10
1. cops only come early if they get to hit someone cuz they're stupid and like to powertrip 2. your paranoid as he'll at least check before u call 3. you got pizza and the cops didnt tazer you.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
being a horror movie addict, I have learned never to check first. op, did the right thing though, he can always apologize and give them some slices for their time, but he was startled and did what he thought was right to be safe.
lilred091710 0
shut up no one cares ok cumverg ? this person can post whatever they want so quit bein rude and tryin ta ruin a perfectly good fml.
Staige40 0
wow I don't think cops are like that,
NuTrees 9
all cops are tyrants! I would love to beat a cops ass when he wasn't hiding behind his badge. all cops are pigs, beat the innocent, harass, steal and are corrupt. I'm mad as children were raised to trust these guys... if I could I would line them all up and shoot all in their ******* eye.
LairaIsKindaCool 6
and all NuTrees are prejudice and stereotypical
5t3ff1k4h 47
93 - What the ****? Here, let me help: Shut up. No one cares, okay Cumverg? This person can post whatever they want, so don't be rude. Stop trying to ruin a perfectly good FML. Unfortunately that only helps your spelling and grammar, not your stupidity. 'Ta' is not a word.
lilred091710 0
Who the **** cares? It's not stated anywhere on this site that I have to have 'perfect grammar' when typing a comment. Excuse me for talking in text like EVERY OTHER person on here. You're the idiotic one for even wasting your time correcting me when what I typed could be read just fine.
lilred091710 0
P.S. That was for 123 Bitch.
5t3ff1k4h 47
150 - Exactly. Lilred, just because you disagree with me does not mean I'm a bitch. 150 is right; you are technically supposed to type legibly without any 'text speak'. Even in texting, no one types 'ta'; they type '2' or 'to'. There's no reason for that. So, calm your balls, untwist your panties and breathe. You can't call anyone idiotic when you choose to type like that. I can see that you know how to spell; put it to good use.
gangstaco_ol 3
#123, you're one of the few stupid ugly bitches who care about grammar on an online website **** you
5t3ff1k4h 47
153 - How very pleasant. I'd try to help, but nothing can cure your blindness. There are MANY people who correct grammar on here. It's not just me; some are even worse than I am. Try opening your eyes sometime.
yajamannin 0
I don't get it
marinus_fml 20
Oh yeah, 5t3ff1k4h is back!
lilred091710 0
150 and 123 - It only says that you have to use proper grammar when POSTING an FML of your own. It says NO WHERE that comments have to use perfect grammar as well. Also, people use 'ta' in texts all of the time! Does the abbreviation 'hafta' ring a bell? It's a shorter, 'text speak' version of 'have to'. People also SAY 'hafta' in real life conversations as a slang word. I think I've proved my point. I'm sorry I was rude to you 123, but I refuse to be called out when I know that I have done nothing wrong.
lilred091710 0
It doesn't say text language ON comments is prohibited. You know very well, 168, that when you post a comment it does not give you a warning stating that you must use proper grammar. They only REQUEST it to be used on actual FMLs.
Sirin_fml 47
Actually, we don't. It's a commenting rule, so it applies to comments posted here. A little of it now and then is no big deal though, so let's not argue this. :-)
lilred091710 0
kickass- Honey, this didn't even involve you to begin with. It was a conversation between myself and 5t3ff1k4h. Therefore, I would appreciate it if YOU just left it alone.
lilred091710 0
where did all of our comments go??
lilred091710 0
What?! Why do everyone's comments keep disappearing?
lilred091710 0
I'm going to keep commenting until someone tells me WHY my comments keep disappearing.
theten_fml 9
I hope you were more hungry than scared.
maskedcrusader94_fml 0
39- "you're"...
sameroni13 0
I don't get the joke I get that if the police came earlier, the pizza would come later but what's so funny about it is it that police stations and cars are slower pizza delivery?? please help me!! thanks
calebobadiah 0
dude, luv da' pic. haha
whoisthisgirl 4
I was gunna say sounds like where I live and then I looked and you're from PA too lol. my police station is far away while the fire department is 3 minutes down the road.
steggy97 0
only in america lol looks like u got some bacon to go with that pizza ;)
This_is_funny 0
Ah you beat me to it!
mooshibear140 4
So what were the strange noises? His hungry stomach?
mooshibear140 4
*hungery
mooshibear140 4
LOL never mind I think I had it right the first time. :P
Aim4thebullseye 4
Shit you got pizza why you mad?
bennetts211 2
Because it wasn't free
unvmesucka 0
What a cheap ass!
sns_fml 0
31 are you stupid?
unvmesucka 0
You claim to be from Venus and calling me stupid? haha Anyways, I was replying to message above dickweed.
bennetts211 2
unvmesucka, you obviously do not understand this newfangled thing called "sarcasm."
Metal_Chick 15
I wouldn't given a shit about the cops if my veggie pizza arrived before :) as a matter of fact I would of forgotten about them.
flockz 20
why go with the veggie? i love the meat. (begin with onslaught of penis jokes now)
Enslaved 38
^You "MEAT" lover! Me too!!!!!
webby580 0
what u been smokin?
dwreck69 0
dick
sns_fml 0
unvmesucker I am from Venus and if you make fun of me once again I'll call chuck Norris and Rebecca black. you stupid idiot. never mess with chuck Norris.
NikkiFlysKites 8
^ Are we supposed to laugh at that?
EmyB_fml 8
it made me laugh
Metal_Chick 15
88- a pizza with dick as a topping... hmmm y not?
NavySEAL13 0
hey sns ill take on chuck Norris all I need is my bare hands
Wazilla 0
And all he needs is his "bear" hands just and fwi before you start threating a celeberty who would make your face flatter than the pavement.
hoopla12345 0
Its called canabalism, thats why not
Metal_Chick 15
It's called sarcasm.
eastside1313 5
what was in the basement?
jerilyn333a 0
dude grow up
maskedman 9
"I guess 911 is a joke in your town." - Flava Fav
iSitt 0
the cops first had to respond to the four boys fake drowning at the pool
chriskeroack1 5
911 is a joke everywhere……
gleek47 0
64- are you trying to be funny? cause its not working out..
BeastNerd 3
74, are you trying to be a retard? because you're doing it really well.
NabbdjuretPerry 0
if u had said that u had some pizza they would have been there in 10 seconds...
rockindyl22 0
98 are you trying to win? Because you did.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
You would too, 118
morgan020 0
It is in my town. It takes on average 45 minutes to an hr for them to get to any kind of emergency. At least Texas let's us protect our homes without having to rely on our slow police department.
UberFail79 0
227: Absolutely. I'm a Texan, I own 7 guns, they're all named. I think y'all know what this leads. I'm also a cop, and I can tell you that, at least in Houston, we've got more on our hands than just "possible trespassing". But hey, Houston sucks. Especially the bad parts. Just learn to fight, and you'll be fine. Rule #1 of survival is never trust the police. Coming from a police officer.
Chris5146 3
Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you
PinkHorset 5
U are my hero xD God, your comment was funny
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
ahaha I love when people act like they were a part of an FML.:)
RyanMacVey 17
you hear noises coming from the basement and you call the cops before even checking it out? ...lool pussy
FacePalm69 0
Probably Noming on some doughnuts
cumverg 0
Nom nom nom nom
JesusFishTaco 5
Nom nom nomnom?
hailphire130 0
Nom Nom
JesusFishTaco 5
Noooooom
Googoo27 12
om nom nom
69_jackson_69 0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
Jake_2013 0
nommy nom nom
Siji 0
nom te nom nom.....nom?
Gema2dicks 0
NOM NOM NOM NOM
sonic19951 6
nom nom nom nom nom nommy nommy nom.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
strange noises? wow terrifying. maybe check to see whats causing the noise before you call the cops and maybe keep them from helping someone in serious danger.
allilovee 0
agreed. seriously what if it was just a ******* wind
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I've never met a wind before
chiddy_bang71 0
you don't want to. if u encounter a wind, call the police immediately.
Futacy 30
...
flockz 20
i've been slapped by a wind once. it happened after my mom ate a burrito.
XxSonyaBlade10xX 1
Hahaha!! XD
isabellthao 0
you all would die if it was a ******* psycho maniac down there. you guys are like the people in the scary movies. **** that, I wouldn't go down there !
that1guyyy 12
you should've trapped whatever was down there By luring it with pizza.
Futacy 30
Imagine... You hear an unusual noise from your basement and you go downstairs to check, say you find a strange man that you've never seen before. You scream and run upstairs to grab the phone, but the weird dude already knows that he was found out... That would be a time where he would either kill you or bust the door down to escape. If you think that there's a serial killer in your house (or whatever else it would be) you shouldn't go down and look for them.
iSitt 0
I would have locked the basement door, yelled "It puts the lotion on it's skin" then sold him to a Hostel.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Well 48, that's why you should buy a gun.
titopei 0
curiosity killed the cat
alex1432 9
this is one reason why guns are legal here.
dwreck69 0
lmfao
BeastMode5 0
Well 73, some people don't have a gun license, or have any need for a gun.
Tadeusz_fml 5
Guns are legal so paranoid people can be armed when they check out creaky doors in their cellars. Well, 13,500 people are murdered through gun crime every year in the States and less than 40 in the UK. Speaks for itself really.
bbaustin_roy17 0
that's why the uk gets poned in wars and the us doesn't
emmanizzer 6
That's why I hate living in America.... I swear I'm moving to Canada someday. Canada's pretty :)
haileyylyynn 0
no he should :)
mattstive 0
you're leaving out important information. what was in the basement?
lmfaoooooooooo 4
it was Chuck Norris
smurfsarwales 9
if it was chuck Norris she wouldn't still be in th house because chuck Norris doesn't own a house. when he walks in, other people walk out.
haileyylyynn 0
he would of killed her for being dumb