Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML
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Top comments
Aim4thebullseye 4
Shit you got pizza why you mad?
cumverg 0
The joke is old, grandpa
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Comments (138)
jkrupili12 0
that's bc the cops wanted some fuckng pizza
grdianknight 0
why did you call the cops and not just go check it out?
inkblotdrummer 6
only in America...
decade444 4
With Larry the Cable Guy.
SorrowFull 8
would have been more funny if someone in the basement ordered a pizza, or called the cops saying there is a strange noise coming from upstairs, .."Um yes I am in a basement, I just ordered a pizza, and I keep hearing noises coming from the upstairs. I think it is the homeowner but I am not sure. Please send a car over asap to check it out."
Tektite 14
LOL!
ScuseMePrincess 2
Buy a gun instead if a pizza if you're worried about someone breaking in. I'm not saying to be paranoid, but if someone really does break into your house, the cops will get there in time to draw a chalk line around a body. Make sure it's not you.
Tadeusz_fml 5
On the other hand, the chances of you getting a shiny white chalk line are far greater in a country with private firearm ownership.
calebobadiah 0
180- you're a douche, the comment and the pic scream it. FYL 180
ddvorak94 0
ha
Emmy_The_Great 2
what was the rustling?
MrsBieber4Life 0
this FML confused me. what's the noise in the basement??
calebobadiah 0
It was the monster they bought the pizza for, duh!, they musta forgot it was down there. ;)
BlondeSyd 0
I don't get it.
Tektite 14
You're a blonde cheerleader. of course you don't..
dvl2035 10
ur a blond cheerleader! wanna have sex?
77wade 0
wanna hook up
calebobadiah 0
83- WIN.
woahheylex 0
Uhm.. I posted this FML this morning in different words. thanks, op, for hating a life you don't even have.