Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML
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Top comments
Aim4thebullseye 4
Shit you got pizza why you mad?
cumverg 0
The joke is old, grandpa
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Comments (138)
JenDanielle917 13
anyone else wondering exacly how this is fml worthy.?
synonymous 1
Because if it had been something serious, the killer would have had 15 minutes to chow down on some pizza before the cops showed? Or that the cops are slower than the pizza delivery guy and still expect a tip?
XxFr0stFir3xX 0
seriously...
rebekahah 7
no, no, no we're all just kidding.
bria0230 0
haha
ihaterats 0
I bet sum1 broke into ur house and decided to have sex!
HannahForbesxo 13
What is this I don't even..
JackyIdkk 7
wtf?'
FruitSalad4225 0
It's funny because he said "sex". Wait, no it's not.
BeastMode5 0
Your picture is hot, your comment.... Not so much.
BkkMan13 0
5 bucks says that you're about 11 or 12 years old
Xolani02 4
Wth? Dude really are you like 10 or something? Was that supposed to be a joke or... just... ugg you really piss me off #16.
DLBL 23
yeah, two mice broke in the small hole and are making babies with gusto in his basement. Call the police! (haha)
Wheredidgrungego 12
The 30 minute or less rule does not apply to cops.
piratebrains 2
Also, if OP ordered the pizza first, wouldn't the pizza guy be around 5-15 minutes ahead of the cops to begin with...?
shrimp1234 4
Calm your shit!!! They had to eat their doughnuts!!
FERNxEMO 0
lol that's true
Tektite 14
Good thing you lived to post this on FML ;D
MrSassypants 34
18 wait... wait... great idea... CALL PIZZA HUT!!!
FERNxEMO 0
the police dnt give a ****. wen u prank call them they get there ******* fast. wen it's an emergency they take their time to get their.
synonymous 1
The lesson being that prank calls are probably incredibly short and vague, so much so that it could imply that the caller is unable to continue talking and could we be in danger. When you call and give detail the situation is assessed and ranked in order of severity. Let's see... A calm person calling about strange noises OR a panicked and/or prematurely cut off call? You decide.
cgchamp89 7
Good point...
VitaLp 14
25, are you implying that you prank call the cops so often that you know on average how long they take to respond? Good one.
RLG 7
like 33, the 911 dispatcher asks you questions so he/she can send the appropriate authorities. plus it takes time for the police to find you. become a cop then tell me what's it's like
a_nutritionist 10
@182 i work in a well known shopping centre a 10 minute drive from the local police station, when doing the speed limit and stopping at ALL lights. i called to report a fight that broke out within our store, i was the only person working, and they were destroying merchandise in their drug fueled bullshit. i called the police, gave them as much info as i could, they arrived 1 hour later. how many drugfucked idiots will fight for an hour? needless to say it was a waste of time them even coming, but of course the tools came back, and when i called again to notify them that they were getting aggressive again, they didnt even bother to come by. now tell me exactly what about that story is acceptable behaviour on the part of the police.
allilovee 0
you have some pretty ******* slow cops, were I come from they legit get to you within 2 minutes its kinda freakyyy
77wade 0
are you a model
cgchamp89 7
If you said you feel like there is a strange man in your house and you think he has a knife, they would get there faster... and you're not committing a crime because you never said you were sure there was... "strange noises" could be a cat or a weird buzzing sound... I wouldn't hurry there either.