Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Gamers rise up
Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Food for thought
Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Skinny Love
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Top comments
evilshade 0
Does she weight 360 pounds?
McMan 23
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo why, why hurt the innocent?
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Comments (449)
treasurechest 0
yawn.
amerrah 4
"HOW MUCH DOES THAT WEIGH ASSHOLE?!?!??"
KVloveBC 0
I don't think it matters. Hello! You are dating. I tell my bf my weight every week when I weigh myself. How dumb of her.
cwhitney11 4
I have a feeling my comments being read by an alex...mwahaha
thisgirl2u 9
Soo, Seriously we are all in agreement that OP's girlfriend THREW an Xbox out the window because he asked her about her weight??? I mean that is just insanity, there has to be more than just a weight question going on here.. But if this truly is the case then shouldn't she now be his EX girlfriend?
AlterCreed 0
bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
qwertyuiop22 0
i feel like my comments are being read by a chase?!?
sarinasusu 2
: / weird question.? But- She should've only thrown it if you were a douche. Sorry.! Fyl.
brianjman14 22
While I do agree that you don't ask a woman what her weight is, that is a WAY overreaction. Get her to pay for another one. Bad question ≠ Destruction of property. FYL.
cradle6 13
Disagreed. That's horrible logic. That reminds of back when rape victims were grilled in court about "what they were wearing." A bad question doesn't warrant destruction of several hundred dollars worth of property
zakkyzebra 11
157, nothing is a rude question to guys. Yeah maybe I'd you ask what shade of pink his sister is but that's rude to anyone. Guy or girl.
sassypants93 17
I wouldn't mind if a guy asked me my weight, but why do they want to know what a girl weighs in the first place? I'm just curious
rfngxhhshi 0
sometimes rulers don't measure in inches... or centimeters. obviously japan needs more sushi?
Nuketown 0
132 epic. i love eazy e
mememe4 0
hey! I'm an Alex!
Nuketown 0
actually 52, if the harddrive was not damaged it is possible with: a new hard drive, a computer, an Xbox 360 data transfer cable and some hardworking and determination.
Anaxes 5
Snap her phone in half, because according to stereotypes, young females are spending too much time yapping on their cell phones and not enough time yapping at the kids to get out of the kitchen.
Frosc 0
CORRECT!
DropTheDaggerxx 31
You can't blame a victim. Not suggesting the OP's wife is a victim- she's ******* batshit insane. It's just not right to penalize the husband for a legitimate question.
thegreenguy 0
how the **** does he deserve this that chick is obviously crazy
EvilDave 13
No, don't snap it in half. Take a dump, then toss the phone in with it.
Danniiboii22 0
if she hears that she gonna goto ur house and throw them out ur windows lol
0opsie 6
I'm thinking there's more to what you said. Women, no matter how crazy, don't typically toss expensive stuff out the window for a simple "How much do you weigh?" Not that she didn't over-react, even if you had said "Lol, ur gettin' chunky. How much do you weigh now, like, a TON?" Either way, drop her and make her pay for it.
blankaex 0
YDI for leaving your X-Box in the kitchen.
jediknight4ever 0
Since she threw your XBox out the window, is she your ex-girlfriend now? Cause I'd bitch-slap as much as I can get away with outta her FYL
C94Slim 7
LOL that's my name, but I spell mine Chayse:)
hobojo11 0
holy shit 308 won the crap outa us
yeahiknow0 0
Poor xbox :(
PuntingYoshi 0
Xbox's are replaceable, but saved games are not. :(
lemonypower 6
true. hope your hardrive wasn't damaged
gregalicious 0
yes very true!
satanclauz 0
as long as the platters weren't spinning it might be ok! ... and if the drive is still in one piece, that is...
Darraghscoot 0
Havent you heard about bill Gates' new plan to start selling girlfriend insurance for every new xbox sold in 2011?
warpig182 0
my question is whats the xbox doing in the kitchen?
persianjr1 7
total win^
hobojo11 0
i agree with boobs up there but you are all nerds never under any sercomstances ask a girl how much she weighs and if they ask how much you think they are drop your real opinion by 20 to 30 lbs
bennyboy111 7
ehh ps3 is better gran turismo 5 amazing game not made on xbox
lilmisslovely13 15
#99 i like your picture. it made me lol :D
stephanie911_fml 0
Hahaha, I would die if my boyfriend threw my xbox out the window! I'm addicted Yo black ops< 3
nickwest 0
merry me lol jk.
skull4k9 0
^i agree thats hott!!!
xxxbooxxx 16
so am I!! :o
TH3_B345T 0
I. Love. You. :) haha
Sportsfan86 3
love
KiddNYC1O 20
Black Ops sucks
alex1502 0
u think it sucks cuz u cant quicksope dumbass, or noobtube, wait, u can do that...
Cates500 0
Black Ops isn't that great but Stephanie Text Me?:P I'll beat you down
KiddNYC1O 20
Thanks for playing, noob.^
stephanie911_fml 0
You suck!( :
stephanie911_fml 0
Well. My gamertag is in my about me.
DudeImBetter 0
162 is just a hater, Black ops is dope. also don't pick 108 pick me cause I at least know how to spell marry.
stephanie911_fml 0
They hate cause they suck, they wanna be try-hards but they don't succeed. ( :
thedisturbedone5 0
anyone who likes call of duty is just a troll and loser, "oh look a game i can actually win" <obvious trolls are obvious i say Halo is way better because they have a better supporting fan base and call of duty is just like being obsessed over... dare i say it, justin bieber, and its true, some people need to grow up, heck id even throw my xbox out and play WoW because i cant go on xbox anymore without seeing call of duty all over my dashboard. if anyone wants to argue their opinion and look stupid idc because im pretty sure i made my point
stfuscrub420 0
my kd/r is like 1.8 but i hate it compared to mw2
itsgabriellee 4
240- Although YOU may have made YOUR point, that is a complete matter of opinion. I agree with everyone above in saying Black Ops kicks ass. I absolutely HATE Halo, just because I can't stand the sensitivity. I can never seem to adjust, no matter what I set it to. So the fact that you think you're the Almighty God and that everyone else's opinions and likes suck disqualifies your opinion, therefore resulting in Black Ops being awesome.
SereniLove 0
haha whaaattt?? that's awesome .____. I'll add for fun! A p o c h 1 1 (:
keysee 0
Jesus, thts amazing a girl who likes black ops. um that's kinda hot ;)
Anaxes 5
#255 - Console beats PC? Facepalm on so many levels. I'll go through a tidy list: 1. Consoles don't have an RTS genre (Maybe 1 or 2 ported games but the ports are crappy). 2. Can't mod on a console. 3. Have to pay to do online on the xbox. 4. You can actually update a PC, pulling the console apart just voids the warranty. 5. Consoles are filled with retards on their god damn microphones. 6. He never said anything about WoW in that post, stop making shit up. I don't know about you, but when a platform can't even support an entire genre, it kind of makes your console fetish rather stupid.
TheManPR 0
add me on xbox for black ops :D names coollatinoman lol
CheesyNacho 0
#281 you don't have to pay for online on all consoles like ps3 :P
lalagirl912 0
only good games are call of duty(modern warfare 2 is my fav..), Fall out 3/new vegas(<3333 that game!!!), and others likee those! Halo S-U-C-K-S!
Air_Force001 0
hey I'll hit you up on xbox then and black ops is good
Arab07 0
ur like five years old get a life
shortystar_fml 0
eh its not all that great its alrite. i still am use to mw2 so maybe thats y but w.e
Nick_1993 2
add me Locusts Fury. I like halo reach now just because I havent bought black ops. both games are equally amazing I'm sure. buy for not multiplayer. fallout for sure
Stewie22 2
add me on xbox live rabbidmuffin125
teamabbswaffles 0
so do I! haha. best game ever (apart from world of warcraft) too bad I'm horrible at it :P
the_hero_of_time 0
black ops sucks. i prefer a game with plot elements a good story... such as fallout I have nothing against FPSes I just prefer RPG/FPSRPGS. and if anyone says I cnt quick scope guess what... Frankly dear, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN snipers don't "quickscope" they use the god damn scope so thank you and have a nice day
olarvman 5
no black ops is alright but mostly a disappointment
DerGeist_fml 0
black ops is tight haha I'll add u during well on the weekend have better things to do on the weekdays
gocutler88 0
first girl I have heard of that plays black ops, that's awesome
urmomsmeatstick 0
gears of ***** bitch ass :D or cod 4 bad co 2 is also pretty good
jessanne14 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your not supposed to ask!!! EVER!!! (:
ohthebloodygore 16
You're also never supposed to mistake your and you're, but you did. Idiot.
aardvarkish 16
Well, 35, while I consider educating the masses a lost cause, I am nevertheless obliged to admire your perseverance.
stfuscrub420 0
lol wut
relaxedninja 18
damn grammar Nazi
ohthebloodygore 16
67, you're an idiot.
killatrev 4
he's a dumb ass
chili10 18
Why can't you leave #4 alone, she wasn't doing anything to hurt anybody. If you have such a big problem with her grammar ignore it. Personally, people who think they are superior to others piss me off more than ignorance and stupidity.
j4gerb0mblitz 6
I love how Gore is just beaking everybody. xD
fastbunny 0
Hi
nichole818 5
129. Get over yourself. People need to learn how to spell and use proper grammar in real life so why not on the Internet. Idiot.
gators1995 30
Of course people need to learn how to spell and leave them alone. If they act like idiots and can't spell then just ignore it. I hate how people tell people to have proper grammar on the internet. I seen comments have thumbs-up and they have had mispelled a word or two.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
it doesnt matter if he asks her. she should grow up.
potatomassacre 14
Ouch
AmazonGurrl 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Never ask a girl's weight. What were you thinking?!
kemando 22
agreed.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Soooo #5... How much do ya weigh?
stfuscrub420 0
16 trying to get some. why not just agree with 4? same shit and it was earlier.
saint_jimmy 0
That doesn't make this a normal thing. His girlfriend sounds pretty crazy. PS- I've asked my girlfriends their weights. Usually after the first month and a half of dating. Never had one lose it at me before, although one of them did get kind of upset for some reason.
FYLDeep 25
Lol at the insecure bitches.
ohthebloodygore 16
I'm with SOMA, here. I mean it's pretty damn obvious how much you weigh. Getting upset just proves how much of an idiot you are. Also, how insecure you really are. Besides an xbox? I'm not a fan of them... but why would she even break something that belongs to you? If she's comfortable enough to break your stuff, you should be comfortable enough to ask her how much she bloody weighs.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Op probably said something along the lines of, "Damn, you fat *****! Whatdo ya weigh now, you cow? make me a sandwich while I play my game and when I'm done we can burn them calories off(;" This pickup line hasn't worked too well for me...
CitrusGirl 0
I agree with troll. We are probably missing some of the story here.
DieselBT 0
Unrelated to comment: Your profile pic is AWESOME.
afdude87 6
if you're dating a girl and she flips out / gets mad / hurts you and or xbox when you ask her weight, she's got baggage, ****** ditch the bitch. plenty o fish in the sea. oh, and.. **** the stupid backward smiley faces. :)
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT MY ******* SMILEYFACES! YOURE GONNA PAY FOR THAT! (-:<
carlomanden 5
33# is right!
persianjr1 7
it's a simple question. he's her BOYFRIEND! what she did was immature and shows how insecure she is.
afdude87 6
SMILEYFACE WAR. :) :) :) =) >) | ) :) :-) =-)
iSpasticFantasti 14
#5 Okay, so I guess since I'm not really an accepted teen girl I missed out on some secret meeting but when was asking a girls weight wrong? Seriously I play the guessing game with people to see if they can guess... o.o And then I check the scales for the first time in 3 years to see if they're right. :D
Herropreez17 0
Lol make her buy you a new one or sue her :P
fastbunny 0
Te
fastbunny 0
Awsome
1SxcBuNnii 10
If anyone broke my damn Xbox or PS3 they better run fast.
Azazel166 9
but that doesn't give the girl the right to destroy his property
Doortje 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Souds fair to me.
Pb25797051 0
wow you're stupid
persianjr1 7
agreed ^ just so stupid
Doortje 29
Obvious sarcasm is obvious -_-'
lalagirl912 0
ya it's obvious that it was obvious you guys...
the_geek_we_love 0
that's why I has a ps3....even my girlfriend knows it's great
noboundary 9
exactly #7 ps3's are amazing!
TH3_B345T 0
PS3 FTW!
I_like_chicken 0
see this guy knows what he's talking about, PS3 FTW
shadyecko 0
PS3 is the greatest peice of technology ever invented.
ilikebigtits 0
**** 360 get a ps3
teamabbswaffles 0
yea!! ps3 is the best. I mean, it can only do everything ;)
marks_fml15 0
**** ALL YOU - Everyone has a 360!
palikadude 5
Smoking weed guys? Obviously wii ftw but ps3 and xbox good too
omggtfomi 1
Exactly Microsoft sucks ass the only reason I have an original xbox is because it was my brothers OP forget the xbox 360 and just get a ps3 they are so much better
ScaughtieHolden 11
Xbox 360 is infinitely better. Without Blue ray, your system is the same as Xbox except there's no games and it's more expensive.
MrCatman1125 2
Better graphics for a 360 to...
nick543 0
ummm yea you better get some grrreat sex to make up for that one
ohthebloodygore 16
8, you're an idiot.
stfuscrub420 0
No he's right. unless shes a fat cow, i totally agree.
ohthebloodygore 16
65, no. I'm saying he's an idiot for saying that OP's girlfriend should give him great sex. Yes, what she did was stupid, immature, and pathetic but it doesn't entitle him to sex. Therefore #8 is an idiot.
nocanhaz 4
8 is just the stereotypical guy... they make me sick
l2spellbud 0
If the majority of guys are forced to massage their women for sex, who says she is not forced to give him sex for ruining HIS relaxing video game? Exactly.
fastbunny 0
Shut up
Phyre24 17
I sense a strong arguement is about to unfold. HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN! WE'RE ABOUT TO GO NUCLEAR, BABY!!! lol just kidding
McMan 23
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo why, why hurt the innocent?
MarineWifey88 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Never ask a woman her weight - or her age. Let this be a lesson to you! Lol
Primus_fml 0
Not asking a girl her age is just grounds for a lawsuit...
susieKiute 0
i wouldnt care. 125lbs and proud of them! lol
MonkeyMan03 0
lol! Primus, your pic goes great with your comment!
ScreamAimFire 0
#10 i disagree with that, if shes fat or old then don't ask. Estimate :P
fmlallthetyme 23
Say you ask "How young are you?" is that okay?