Break-ups and Love: News to me - FML

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 2 147

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Same thing different taste

By Jeff make - 01/04/2012 14:03 - United States - Malvern

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 409

You deserved it 34 464

By kukadaman - 15/03/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 2 387

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 217

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 521

You deserved it 5 203

By socialix - 19/04/2015 01:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 712

You deserved it 3 406

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

By Anonymous - 01/03/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 960

You deserved it 3 698

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 3 628

Easy fix

By failure - 13/10/2010 06:18 - Australia

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 400

You deserved it 3 091

Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 517

You deserved it 4 023

Next

Top comments

24788 6

Saturday 2 May 2009 7:00

Wow, she almost was trying to be a bitch on that one.

D29 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:13

She planned that.

Comments

Abcdfg 0

Friday 10 April 2009 15:30

What happened nxt?

Squirrellord911 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 3:31

Ow... what a bitch

24788 6

Saturday 2 May 2009 7:00

Wow, she almost was trying to be a bitch on that one.

amsftw 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 0:59

Almost?

D29 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:13

She planned that.

Jordans436 11

Sunday 25 September 2016 12:52

I was thinking the same thing, it's quite obvious but you never know.

Manpersonguythin 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 22:22

Well, She's pretty bad at breaking up.

djbean09 0

Monday 1 June 2009 20:10

hahaha thats ****** up

emt430 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 8:31

Bitch...

albinorhino 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 6:25

Wow

crutchboy90 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 20:23

**** her

ropeandneck 7

Thursday 20 December 2012 6:14

only if she agrees with break up sex, apparently..

Pankti 0

Monday 3 August 2009 19:49

ouch..feel sry for you

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 769

You deserved it 16 301

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 141

The Top

Today, and for the past year, my sisters have been guilt-tripping me for not giving their kids some cousins to hang out with. I hate kids and I don’t feel bad, but it’s starting to get annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 104

Today, I noticed my 5-gallon glass vase/aquarium was leaking at the base. When I went to move the vase so I could transfer everything to a new aquarium, the bottom completely detached, sending water, sand, sea shells and fish crap everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 185

You deserved it 5 583

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 310

Today, I'm in an open marriage and had to admit to myself that I caught feels for my "friend with benefits" who was only interested in the "benefits" part and I had to break it off. I already miss the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 518

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 329

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 995

You deserved it 14 131