Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Overreaction time
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
No need for white knights
Today, my sister's boyfriend of over a year broke up with her. As her brother, I instinctively wanted to beat him up, but he is too much of nice guy for me to be able to hurt him. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
My brother, the asshole
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML
Inferiority complex
Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML
Never get involved
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Friends?
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Does he know she stabbed you? If yes and he says that, I think he needs to see a doctor.
Cassandra2015 21
Nothing's pure about someone who does that . Sounds to me like she needs a little help !
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Comments (61)
kidtoy 18
Time to call an asylum if you ask me.
omid379 14
??
Yazoo77 16
Does he know she stabbed you? If yes and he says that, I think he needs to see a doctor.
llamingo 8
Violence should never be a part of a happy relationship
Yazoo77 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would his ex stab his brother?
anujt360 13
Violence should never be a part of anything (except maybe self-defense).
Ellykay 17
Violence should never be part of ANY relationship. Whether it's happy or not.
Sansa_fml 38
and she needs to see a therapist.
GhostFox 34
Depends on whether you count BDSM as violence, but there are plenty of healthy and happy relationships in the BDSM culture, if you do. Regardless, given the way OP phrased it, the type of stabbing going on was definitely not consensual and probably not safe, so unless it was somehow provoked, she needs either legal action against her, or mental help. Possibly both.
Tacogamer20 14
Sorry Op. Hopefully they don't leave a scar for you to remember her by :(
Solano2580 24
#4 stabs wounds ALWAYS show scars -_-
EcoAirWarrior 7
Your brother must be delusional or mentally unbalanced unless you were inflicting severe abuse on your partner there was no reason for her to assault you will a weapon and even so she could have contacted authorities I hope you recover and seek support for your brother
Cassandra2015 21
Nothing's pure about someone who does that . Sounds to me like she needs a little help !
betweenwinds 18
She needs a lot more than a little help.
lovefrog 14
Just a little bit of help
clumsylobster 17
Well that's not the kind of stabbing I would enjoy with my girlfriend
DaRito 25
Wow, did you tell anyone about that?
Mcstud1y 30
Show him the literal scars, people only care about those
Dave_Davington 35
She does sound quite pure. Specifically, pure ******* lunatic.