Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend of over a year broke up with her. As her brother, I instinctively wanted to beat him up, but he is too much of nice guy for me to be able to hurt him. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML
Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Does he know she stabbed you? If yes and he says that, I think he needs to see a doctor.
Cassandra2015 21
Nothing's pure about someone who does that . Sounds to me like she needs a little help !
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Comments (61)
ApollosMyth 22
I'm confused as to what situation would bring about your brother telling you about your own ex.
MrConcise 35
I guess it runs in the family. Or will soon, I should say. Blood, that is.
LazyLion 12
The crazy ones always know how to hide it
Randomish6 16
Since he likes her so much, I hope they will be happy together! In an asylum that is, as she sounds dangerous and he sounds delusional or worse.
worldclassrager 41
That will probably change as time goes on...he'll learn the hard way
rileypoli23 6
wow please get help from someone, like authorities or a doctor. she is dangerous
arrowgold 19
Well she had them fooled. I would run.
daddysgirl243 21
stabbed with love
jezka374 15
Sometimes there are no reasons for what people do other than the fact that they're ******* crazy. Don't defend someone until you know the real story. People are too quick to choose sides without knowing the TRUTH. Sorry, you were stabbed OP regardless of the reasons.
MandieL 27
Where is she defending him? She is telling him that she is sorry he got stabbed. That's not defending him.
MandieL 27
This is not a response to 23, I don't know where the comment yelling at 23 for "defending" OP went.
meanleank 15
Wtf does OP mean
Hyenayena 27
"Original poster " So by saying OP you're talking to the person who submitted this fml
Geckosrock99 33
So you're on a device that can access the internet, but you can't use Google?
False_Stupidity 42
Don't be silly 27, it clearly stands for Optimus Prime.
laurenahov 6
original poster...the person who made the fml