Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend of over a year broke up with her. As her brother, I instinctively wanted to beat him up, but he is too much of nice guy for me to be able to hurt him. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML
Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Does he know she stabbed you? If yes and he says that, I think he needs to see a doctor.
Cassandra2015 21
Nothing's pure about someone who does that . Sounds to me like she needs a little help !
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Comments (61)
zarrganaut 17
What's up with all these crazy girlfriends? Jeesh. I'm sorry that happened to you op. Just glad you're smart enough to NOPE out of that relationship.
alisha0215 12
I agree. don't get me wrong, bitches are crazy lol, but op could've did some serious physical or emotional damage. we don't know .
FlytoHogwarts 14
"Yuki~! Yuki~!" We have an escaped Yuno
interesting33 37
Fair enough :) it is ok to question things, I just didn't get the humour because it was a really horrible fml and obviously stab wounds are really serious and it sounds like a domestic violence situation. We don't know much about it but to me it seemed like you were assuming he had done something that deserved to be stabbed - and there isn't much that deserves being stabbed I think. Although tbf I've just assumed it was a domestic violence situation.
MandieL 27
Or course there is more to the story, there always is. But none of your examples justifies stabbing, even running over her grandma. The only time stabbing would be justifiable would be in self defense. Anything else could be dealt with by dumping him and/or calling the cops. This site is not meant to be humorous, it's meant to be a place where people can bitch about stupid situations they have been in.
JKPwnage 27
Show him the scars. Like, rub them in his face.
nightfall8705 33
The first stab is the only one you get with me. You'd better pray to God I don't get up, cause I'd take a person out of this world otherwise. Your ex is a psycho and should be locked up.
kendalbear 16
If you were an abuser, YDI. If she abused you, FYL.
lunaangel 14
key word ex-girlfriend that psycho is gone
VossCrowley 6
Let the dog run free without a collar. It isn't yours. It isn't your responsibility. "it ran away"