TMI
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
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Top comments
JRFaceless 8
And this is different than playing CoD any other time?
Magic_Mushroom 7
Idk that sounds like fun to me
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Comments (179)
Magic_Mushroom 7
Idk that sounds like fun to me
EatnBeef 7
That's modern warfare for ya.
Exeggcute 5
Your first problem is playing Call of Duty
sammyf89 13
How is cod a turn on?.... For anyone
Calyx_fml 22
I like to beat off with cod. Usually raw with a little butter for lubrication. Sometimes I catch it myself in the lake.
GoW_Chick 15
I don't know how CoD is a turn on for anyone, it's all about Gears of War for me.
shanemaximo 7
I seriously hope they won at least. And 76: Gears of war.... You are the greatest.
clouds7 0
that's hot lol I LOVE GoW!!! :D
zombiegold 23
How do you beat off and play video games at the same time?
biglittlehead 12
76- halo is way better than GoW and CoD put together.
brownov6969 4
Headshot!
DanLikesDodge 5
82 I'd say the controller helped him ;)
FaZeClan 3
I prefer to ********** with Slight of Hand so it goes a bit faster. I also use Steady Aim for a better chance for it to go straight...(CoD players should understand this).
Damn_Hippster 11
Multitasking FTW!!
urdirtyolduncle 15
133- Quite impressive. I like to use Ninja pro, to keep myself from getting caught.
shoopd 19
133 - But isn't Steady Aim only for hip firing? Guess you're a spray and pray sorta guy! Hope your girl took Flak Jacket as a perk...
The_Tool1 13
That's every other person on CoD? And don't act like you didn't love it
urdirtyolduncle 15
***** on 177's face* Now, don't act like you didn't like THAT.
golfer_boi 10
Skyrim is the best. Nuff said.
I_Punch_Babies 7
Ninja pro only keeps you from being heard. Ghost pro keeps you from being seen as well. For your third perk to make sure that your jacking off goes smoothly, I personally recommend Sleight of hand pro. :D
wtf20007 10
Lol @ the COD referenced quotes
Kog_Hiro 17
I knew GoW wasn't your real initals GoW Chick. You almost had me there.
Sniperkid07 6
ArmA 2 is where it's at. Although after serving 2 tours in Afghanistan it is nice to wind down with CoD
MR_RODSQUAD 11
? BF3 any one? ?
GovernorGeneral 8
CALL. OF. DUTY. FTW. battlefield 3 is suuuuuuuuuuuucks.
QOD 0
True that!
grouperslayer20 0
Why thumbs down? That game sucks battlefield 3 is amazing!!!!!!!!!
YessyxD 8
133 - LMFAO!!!! you just made my night!!!! Have you gotten Slight of Hand Pro and Steady Aim Pro? Lol
Zoranius 6
Terrorists or nazis maybe likes it?
9010649 3
I'M SO GOOD AT THIS GAME! Fapfapfapfapfap
Zackaray 0
YDI for playing CoD when you could have been playing Skyrim or Halo...
ArcadePie 10
189 only ******* use ghost and you cant wank with a pussy
armyboy00025 3
BOOM! Headshot! *New camo unlocked*
kasumirock 13
This just goes to show you that it takes no skill to play CoD. BATTLEFIELD!!!!
randome101 12
Nobody said the guy wanking did GOOD in the game...
Pelreskovich 11
Did it turn you on? Because this post turned me on. Yum.
markrs 0
The wanker was probably listening to everyone's conversation. "Dude, throw the grenade! Throw the grenade!" "Ohh, I'll be blowing something alright. Gimme a minute, Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!" KABOOM!
JFAW 6
And boom goes the dynamite.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Freak!!!
Pelreskovich 11
I'm kidding..
GoW_Chick 15
Don't mind 95 he can't help it, he has has a condition, just look at his username...
Amanda4tno 1
Yea you look like a chick that would kiss a guys ass
GoW_Chick 15
And you sound like a bitch who would say anything for attention. Want to keep throwing out random bitchy insults, or are we done here?
Capt_Awesome137 0
GoW_Chick just bitch slapped you
gojira666 7
Headshot!!
periwinkle95 10
2- you remind me of Robert Kardashian in a way.
bignate898 0
Pervert!!
Deeznutzhairy 7
Lol how can't you tell he's being sarcastic x)
jmanh 6
Dude you suck at making comments
JRFaceless 8
And this is different than playing CoD any other time?
aceman1992 9
Not really.
DontModMeDammit 10
The only thing that seems different is that there was no ten year olds screaming at the top of their lungs, while randomly throwing in cuss words that really make no sense.
aceman1992 9
That reminds me of Sandusky.
DanLikesDodge 5
Should have played Battlefield 3. That's what real gamers play, not wankers.
ItsMe805 0
Hahaha @real gamers play Battlefield. Sorry but playing the mainstream games doesnt make you a true gamer. Thy are fun and all but they dont make you a true gamer
GoW_Chick 15
No, you know what makes you a true gamer is that you've logged many hours playing old school Mario bros., Zelda, final fantasy, pokemon, gears of war, and others, and enjoy pwning noobs with online gameplay, and have been to comic-con dressed as one of your favorite charecters, I know because I've done all these things, kind of sounds sad when I put it all out there in the open, but it's a way of life.
ClassyCommando 13
81 is a gaming hipster. I'll play whatever ******* game I want.
KeyboardWarrior 10
81 Call of duty is WAY more mainstream than battlefield.
XanderJayNix 17
GoW_Chick is a Pokemon fan??? You just got that much awesomer!!!
DanLikesDodge 5
I am not a true gamer because I don't have the time to like play 6 hours a day to become the best. I am just playing every now and then. I personally don't like call of duty. I own both games cod and battlefield 3 where battlefield is slightly better. I find it turned too much into cod, that's why I play bbc2.
TheDrudgeChild 4
90- THANK YOU. Playing these military shooters at all doesn't make you a gamer. Try playing some games other than an FPS and maybe you can call yourself a gamer. RPG, RTS, even third person shooters are out there too.
Jaxx66 21
Mmmm pokémon! I dislike black&white though. :( Mario and zelda ftw! But you forgot Galaga, Dig Dug, Pole Position, Asteroids, and even Spyro :) (the original 2)
BeefyQueef 5
Battlefield 3
brenton490 19
Psh, not one true gamer. Hello Kitty Island Adventure is where it's all at.
duckie227 22
Give me some WoW or SWTOR and I'm good
tylersign 11
I play animal crossing. Am I a true gamer?
slushpup9696 12
135 - Only if you have a six figure HRA rating.
randomnguy1993 5
True gamer plays battlefield? Lol Modern warfare 3 outsold battlefield 3 by millions. Good games that true gamers play are Elder Scrolls , Halo Series. , SWTOR , SSX , GTA , Saints row , Half life , Mario etc.
tylersign 11
141- Well duh ;) I have all the golden tools! THAT'S pwning noobs.
Andrewgfffff 0
I'm sorry, guess I was wrong when I thought a "real" or "true" gamer simply played what they want, be it mainstream or indie. Geez louise :)
falon142012 22
maybe good games are just the ones you're passionate about. to each his own, right?
JayJayAttackAtta 5
144, SWTOR is the WoW of SW, it's doesn't make a man a true gamer. On the other hand, SWKOTOR makes a man a true gamer.
TunechiXXL 0
90 - You are A M A ZING!!!!!!
KingDingALing 9
**** you all...it's all about FROGGER. Crossing the street has never been more fun...
DocBastard 40
Wow. The "true gamer" comment just threw me for a loop. Are you really that ******* conceited about VIDEO GAMES? Holy ****. I rarely say this to anyone (since I used to play video games nonstop when I was a kid), but if that's really your opinion on the matter, you need to get a ******* life.
GoW_Chick 15
If that is directed at me, nope I'm not that conceited about video games, I don't care what people play, I just thought I'd share my personal experience, and opinion on video games, and I have a life which consist of working two jobs, and barly any free time, or money, so games are my escape.
bagofshit 0
You sir are a ******* idiot
DanLikesDodge 5
You don't know shit about me so stop saying I got no life. Just calm the **** down people. Maybe I didn't choose my words wisely or maybe you are just too bitchy. Whatever, get over it because that comment will be there for the rest of your life.
thegreat8 1
Oh CoD...How I love you...(btw I'm 12...and a girl...)
max_wilder 9
Not really, I do that all the time
KeyboardWarrior 10
I like how basically the whole thread was moderated, leaving a big gap between the comments.
pjkrit 0
And 8 year olds detroying you in every game while making fun of your mom.
mazesm 11
Nobody cares what sex you are. The game was made for both.
Anubyte 0
I'd be more surprised if OP played CoD with someone who WASN'T wanking.
jtthegr8 26
Was he better than you?
I_AmTheStig 0
Possibly or he probably wouldn't of posted this.
ChelsiiBabee 5
I was just about to ask the same thing.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Duty can call at any time. And it's not like you could see him wanking anyway.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
it sounds like he could?
TrexsCantClap 0
Hearing it is enough to creep you out though.
PurpleChica9 0
Talk about miracle whip.
TwitchingNebula 17
No kidding...how do you fap and play a game at the same time?
cablooey 0
You go with a negative KDR for the price of pleasure.
VoteForTaco 8
28- Pure skills!
VoteForTaco 8
How do you know that? Don't tell me you tried it xD
tylersign 11
Ok. Miracle Whip is a pretty delicious, sweet substance. It's usually white and.. Whip-y. One mustn't mistake this for "Cool Whip". There. I talked about miracle whip. Where's my money?
I_Punch_Babies 7
I dunno about that. Flogging the dolphin usually helps my KDR.
regsworld11 2
Well, that's not awkward...
GVirdi 11
Don't look at me, I havnt played cod in days
ElainaCutsYou 0
....shit.
keyboo 0
War is rough I hear
skittihorse 8
How'd you find out? ;)