Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML
Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KingOfOreos 0
he doesn't want to be bit durr lol
creamcheese724 0
****** dentata
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (425)
KingOfOreos 0
he doesn't want to be bit durr lol
Synapse_fml 0
you should be more scared of penis teeth 0_o
KingOfOreos 0
lol where would the teeth be?
EvilLilCupcake 10
one tooth one the tip? lol
promisekept 2
So I'm assuming you passed the test then right? right?!
YourEvilHero 12
give him anal instead
Synapse_fml 0
44 - Seriously...? He has a girlfriend, hes obviously not interested in anal...
MizzErikaHart 8
ummm...not only gays r into anal.
ryno101 3
cuz anal sex with your gf is gay...congratulations 44, you win the stoopidest comment of the day award!
geeksaresexy 18
#50 if you're a girl you're in for a shock.. Plenty of straight men like anal..
ryno101 3
and that would be 50, not 44 >.
Dasuss 11
So you win the "stoopidest" award 56. Congrats.
mfjkr 10
The consequence's will never be the same!
KaintukeeBob 13
@50: Don't you mean a 'shocker'? Two in the pink, one in the stink, am I right?
extradorkyloser 4
Eww anal is not an alternative. Do you know what comes out of that hole?!?! That's sodomy, you know. And, plus, there might be teeth there too!! lol
stef108 3
I'm pretty sure 44 was just joking..and actually there's a lot of straight men who enjoy prostate stimulation
Keyman1212 14
I don't like shit in my rectal cavity, and I'm straight if you know what I mean (; Besides, if a girl has a wizard's sleeve, I'm going to be checking for all kinds of weird shit.
trgower13 0
I don't blame him if he just watch the movie teeth! lol. ****** dentita
beebby 0
104, why wouldn't we know what you mean? What the **** else could we get from 'I'm straight'?!
dyschordia 0
"I don't like shit in my rectal cavity" =D
mycookiezz 0
Better safe than sorry. Did he also check for "pillowpants"? That's the sneaky, dangerous one. lol
22cute 17
that is just creapy weird
dolphincheddar 10
Suprise buttsecks. the best thing you never knew you needed.
TheMasticater 9
Dude...then he has to worry about the worst kind of teeth: ass teeth
kayla61097 0
WOGBRO 6
55-your name is so true
WOGBRO 6
Sorry thought it said greeksaresexy but it said geeksaresexy.
MrFlintstone 5
he should have checked your bathroom for a toothbrush that smells like fish
alpha506 4
idiot
dolphincheddar 10
134. best. comment. ever.
barmishmar 3
you're right. it's not an alternative, it's the primary method.
grapisy 8
Get your ******* male genetalia out of my rectum.
SuperPineApple 0
Well yeah. He's worried you have a penis fly trap.
RainbowHeadache 2
At least he's paying attention to your vagoo, OP. A lot of guys won't even bother to touch it, let alone check for teeth.
tona01 16
well at least it doesn't look like an old man and a hat
schaflava 0
why the thumb downs for funny comments? stupid christians
acaciastrainftw 2
Then I guess me and my girlfriend "sodomize" every day. Btw, that's not the definition.
spadekqj10 0
243 your a dumbass
cbaidchris 6
teeth is a traumatizing movie. being a dick doesn't mean you should lose yours...
kaykay9080 5
Mine has braces. :D
LouieLZ 5
I'm surprised nobody mentioned it before. Nit a well known film, I pressume...
Mr_Saikaly 35
#243 don't you dare to insult a religion, you are the stupid one here
JokerJohn7 0
are you really the King of Oreos?
SomeFMLPerson 0
Om nom nom nom...
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
"show me your teeth"
ieatpegasuscrp 0
ya
Sessyann 1
I back traced it! "cyber police"
Sessyann 1
Comment removed by cyber police lmao
Micracer 0
pnis
Dricoust 2
Someone isn't aware of female masturbation tools.
imanillawafr 4
can never be too careful..
allforthetaking 0
hillarious
SW500 13
I thought everyone did that...
kala_lanier 2
dumb!
Poopolicious 5
it's totally smart he doesn't want his junk bitten off one day while getting it on :)
creepin 3
Go watch "Teeth" and then maybe you'll understand.....?
that1kid82 2
did he find any?
ImaWiseGuy 5
I thought it was pussy trolls you have to check for...
Yodaevil 4
teeth is a wrong movie! so wrong! I cried a lil....
alexdaguitarman 0
you gotta watch out for both, the troll and the teeth. goes to show women are dangerous. handle with care
zukinihudini 0
haha safe sex
hellbilly205 17
watch the movie teeth, and you will understand why he does this
daisyloo 7
Yeah but still, it's a little weird.
xleanne_aLly 23
I never watched Teeth. I heard of it tho... is it any good to watch? :s
MerrikBarbarian 9
not really. you might get a laugh if you like scary movie or that genre of movies though
SuperPineApple 0
You guys don't understand. He's just checking for a penis fly trap.
cc_the_beast 6
Actually my BF was once shown a uterus with an entire set of uppers and lowers. It's the same tissue as your gums, but i don't think he could see that far OP!
QuantumLegend 0
they actually do sell v "teeth" that are like clamps that the woman puts in there. it's like a bear trap. so if some rapeman comes he'll only have one go ;) not kidding
SadinSherman 16
I heard the movie teeth was a strange movie
JawneeG 0
this guy never paid attention to the movie. they only bite if she wants them to!!! DUH
mrjmaster1234 0
at least u know now
BooGhosted 0
Iron condom. Yay!
cameron_natasha 0
uhmm. hate to be the retard here but what are we talking about......?
creamcheese724 0
****** dentata
Donzi_fml 0
lmao
baddud300 6
Man that was a good movie.....
bwarren93 0
lol, yup, I laughed n thought of the movie Teeth
steveakafranxy 7
hakuna matata
oreobunbun 3
I believe they made a documentary about this condition.
MsMeiriona 2
It means no wiener, for the rest of your days. It's a penis free, girl cavity, ****** dentata!
FlashBurn 13
****** Dentata, you can never be too careful! Heck, ever seen one with teeth, let alone braces?
cameron_natasha 0
wtf is it?
miserypoison 13
better to be safe than sorry.
Yodaevil 4
but how do you check? losing a finger doesn't sound fun either... guess he uses a lil dental mirror? lol
tr0llz0r 0
Age-old wisdom says: if you don't want to touch it; poke it with a stick.
Gnarlltrugg 0
but never your stick.
Synapse_fml 0
well you never know...
GtheGringo 3
i **** sheep.
this_female 0
hahaha tf? funny funny.
Gigglebear 9
I take it he's too scared to have a *******?
Badjuju7711 0
Oh I'm sure he can conquer his fear of that ...
itsgen 16
how is hr scared of a *******? since s ******* is done thru the mouth not a ****** -.-
itsgen 16
*he*
Rnm82 0
Your mouth has teeth inside of it.
broomhildo 19
Apparently 187 doesn't have teeth in her mouth to understand why he would be afraid of a *******.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
.....see her picture? See her smiling? ....Those are teeth right there. Teeth. (...unless it's not her)
itsgen 16
wtf is ur problem? this is not my fml
qyka 5
247 durrrr