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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (7144)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (7470)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (2516)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (2413)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34211) - you deserved it (3487)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

#5947119
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12126) - you deserved it (26421)

On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

#5932326
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (4882)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

#5927953
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (6751)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54105) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

#5896286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (3936)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42649) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)



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