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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML

#12963410
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (4344)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I received an anonymous letter telling me that I smell bad, and suggesting that I wear more deodorant. Apparently my BO is so bad that someone feels the need to stalk me to point it out. FML

#12947973
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9391) - you deserved it (31154)

On 09/07/2010 at 11:36am - health - by speedstick - United States

Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

#12944267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8664) - you deserved it (23730)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:53am - health - by slingshot - United States

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

#12922106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (7117)

On 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (6781)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML

#12889600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (3104)

On 09/03/2010 at 7:02pm - health - by insomniac (man) -

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (6454)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12770) - you deserved it (55923)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

#12852856
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (4672)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

#12846178
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7882) - you deserved it (37426)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm - health - by WIno - United States (Alabama)



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