Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML
Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
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Top comments
123josie123 11
Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*
TheMaster15 10
Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D
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Comments (157)
tennis06 7
sucks to suck
123josie123 11
Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Time to ********** all night long!! Yeah!!!
ICATiger 13
I had the idea of going on xbox all night owning MW2 noobs. But what ever float your boat.
oXali 0
After partying you'd probably end up with the same symptoms as the flu.. Vomiting, headache, stomach queasiness. Go for broke and do it anyways bro!
margie2194 12
It's okay OP you can always have a party with soup and sex and the city reruns. Yay :)
hugsandisses 6
Omg ur eyebrows are scary ^^
Forlorn420 9
Who plays mw2 anymore?
FirstTigerHobbes 13
^Don't start this shit
BostonBruinsFan 8
We already have started it though…the shit I mean…
urdirtyolduncle 15
I used to play MW2, then I took an arrow to the knee. I'm sorry, I just had to say that because I know it annoys the crap out of some people *trollface*
oXali 0
Totally didn't annoy me. Definitely got a good thumbs down though.
Damn_Hippster 11
Guys, the flu is way more fun then partying anyways.
MCweSCRAPPY 2
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! But that really sucks OP
Penguinman909 7
Your kinda lucky OP. Would you rather Flu or explosive diarrhea? I currently have the later and so I am typing this from my toilet... It just won't stop... D;
TheMaster15 10
Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D
ShroomsOnAcid 17
What always helps me is loading up on vitamin C, as soon as I sense the first symptoms of getting sick. I don't know if it'll help you recover faster once it's full blown, but at least it won't hurt to try.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
**** no, 46! Chugging cough syrup has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard. There's a time and place for everything, but getting ****** up just because you have nothing better to do is stupid and irresponsible. Damn bored kiddies.
LOLZ11 0
Omg, I love chicken noodle soup from the Chinese when I'm ill. It's the only thing I can face eating :p
Victoria16_fml 0
Better luck next time
ladyLALAA 29
Omg I love robo.. I mean, vitamin c..
cloud175 6
Flu Party!!!
rattusrattus 19
Like a chickenpox party, only more mature! There have to be wild party people who want free vaccination, right?
Nosrebor 8
Party pox make you loooose your mind! We just wanna see ya have a good time! I butchered it, didn't I?
bigtaytay 13
Sucks
bobbycorwen 5
Good one, bigdumbdumb.
TheGianaJinx 0
...?
FirstTigerHobbes 13
6- that is the best comment I've seen all day! I would give you a cookie but I ran out
laurietorie 0
Awww. Well how long are they gone for? Get well asap and party for the rest of the time!!! :D
dimoka123 5
Who said you still can't party?
ICATiger 13
Pop some pills, then party your ass off!!
KriiFahMoro 9
Where he will then pop even MORE pills!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Who would have guessed Carlton is a pill popper?
GhostlyGhoulish 1
Wasn't there an episode of fresh prince where Carlton accidentally took some pills will had in his locker?
Penguinman909 7
Yup it was Speed and Carlton thought it was mints or something.
Mr25_fml 14
This calls for online gaming, soup, and a day in bed with no nagging parents
stevenJB 25
FOR THE HORDE!! Lok'tar gar Lo'gar!
tehrealone 6
I don't have time to party I'm to busy raiding
Buttsexpirate 9
Germ party!!! And hey you get to hang out with osmosis jones and his pill friend in your body.
zombicidal 11
drix that's his name right?