Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
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Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
No ***** were given that day.
beryd 0
At least your still getting some color. : )
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Comments (134)
hannahtaskey 9
No ***** were given that day.
InsidiousChild 0
and your bf didn't care?
Denikk 0
beware people, she loves dirt
bebe088 0
Hahahaha.
daisyloo 7
So sad, FYL!:(
OkayImSorry 0
I give 0 *****. How many girls did I hook up with last night? More than you, more than you. "Oh my god you're an alcoholic!!" Nah, nah, I'm in a frat.
gamercanadian 11
^^ WTF
gamercanadian 11
^^ WTF
OkayImSorry 0
It's a ******* YouTube vid my homie showed me. It's funny as ****. It's called "Frat Life" go watch it. You will laugh and then you will understand.
opendoorclosed 8
You got darker on that part of your body, if that counts.
flockz 20
at least you know now that your boyfriend isnt a "catcher" since u "recieved" that bruise....
baddud300 6
Jeezzz... how much do you weigh? How can some one just throw someone across a pool?
ssaammiiee 5
ouch!!! thats messed up
haydencisahoss 6
84- It was a kiddie pool
GuitarFail123 9
win^
asetal 0
25 you fail at life. your profile picture is obviousy fake in that ive seen it all over google. thanks for giving me somthing to laugh at though.
Lucidium 0
Tanning is the skin not blood under the skid. Yeah, I know you're joking but you're also stupid.
rafsta 0
How is this funny
OkayImSorry 0
"^fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that a sense of irony is essential." - FML FAQs. Apparently the people who created the website said it was supposed to be funny.
OkayImSorry 0
Hey shrike. Okay it's a shitty moment that ruined a persons day that is also supposed to be funny. Nonetheless it is supposed to be funny. Idiot. Jesus. Use your head.
OkayImSorry 0
What? This kid isn't the supreme moderator of FML, he doesn't decide which fmls get posted. He's probably never even moderated. You said that fmls weren't supposed to be funny. They are as proved in the third FAQ. You're wrong, but good try.
OkayImSorry 0
Shrike, you communicate your ideas terribly over the Internet. Your comment quoted is "Who said fmls were supposed to be funny, you heartless bastard?" Ignore your punctuation error. Yes fmls are moderated officially by moderators but you said(summarized) "If this Fml isnt funny by this guys standards why did it get approved?" Meaning that the Kobe guy is the Fml god and is the ultimate authority on what is funny and what isn't. You stated that fmls are not supposed to be funny. But as proved they are supposed to be a terrible moment that can be taken humorously. Just because this guy doesn't find it funny doesn't mean others don't. Thus the Fml is funny and follows what it was supposed to be. There I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Even though you sound high.
marinus_fml 20
Your boyfriend just didn't want to catch you.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Most people would catch someone when they fall. Not when that someone gets thrown at them...
Ddevon 4
maybe OP is a little to hesvy
sassyangel24 0
She's obviously not heavy if that dude could throw her across a pool.
Emmi3xo 4
yeah so if she's not that heavy you would think her boyfriend could catch her, so either 1) he's reallllly weak or 2) he just doesnt like touching his girlfriend..?
asoptavlo14 6
That and how does someone through someone else who I'm guessing is over 80 lbs across a kiddy pool which may be around 8 feet wide but 1 foot deep?
jesscarrr 10
just because he didn't catch her doesn't mean he's weak or doesn't want to touch her... it could just be the fact that he wasn't paying attention and/or the friend that threw her said "catch" after she was already airborne...
acidrainx 9
he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for the next year
beryd 0
At least your still getting some color. : )
FMLephant 2
Tan, purple, black and blue. They're all colors. Tan from the sun, the rest from a son of a bitch.
F2M2L 5
you caught him off guard.
lurveu_mysweet_t 0
49- haha hil-lar-ious!! tehehe?
lolfood 24
You're*
iAmScrubs 19
I am looking into investing into a baseball league called the Major League Girlfriend Baseball. It is just like regular baseball, except it is played with girlfriends. It seems like this trend has really caught on.
bigmanj28 0
I see no bats are involved though
anorexicbarbie 8
le sigh
iLoveBoobies21 0
da ****? this shit makes no sense what so ever.
iAmScrubs 19
Yeah, I guess Major League Girlfriend Baseball wasn't such a good idea after all. I really should have thought this through.
BADDiam 4
You should young lad
iAmScrubs 19
I'll recoup my losses and invest in some other stupid sport. Possibly one where horses ride humans around a race track?
IndigoFuckYou 9
Or toddler-ball? Like baseball, but whacking small children instead of baseballs.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
lol this isn't soviet russia! XP
minidinosaurgoes 9
well you make up for it in ur love for pokemon
jewfro311 0
Midget tossing like in the movie Dodgeball??
swittig 0
maybe you're too fat to catch. you can always pay $50 to get with quagmire. of $1000 if you're precious fat.
LaughinStock 16
No stupid it's do 1000 fat chicks for $50 or do 50 fat chicks for $1000...fat chicks need loving too :)
damienms 0
they just got to pay
chili10 18
too fat to catch but not to be thrown?
blondieblue33 2
very good point!
Catie13 0
your a dick.
No_habla_espanol 11
48, no it's 1000 fat chicks for $50 each or 50 really fat chicks for $1000.
raymel 5
find nicer friends? :3 or weaker friends that can't pick you up! :D
natas_fml 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
stop with the :3 face. it's not cute, you look like zoidberg.
sxe_beast 11
Personally I picture balls on the chin when I see that emoticon.
sparklemuffin 8
agreed
Sunny_Eclipse 6
I like the :3 because of reminds me of s kitty cat. But I'll leave what you guys think up to your diseased imaginations.
sandythongs 1
i kitty cat wirh face cancer? because no cats face looks like that
decidedlyvague 11
your picture looks like ash is raping that pokemon o.o
youliketacos 0
He won't catch you when you fall. He's no good.
zombieekillah93 0
i bet you look like a blue thing from avatar hehe
MrSexyPants 14
Your bruises are that color blue?
sweeetboy 5
he's just trying to touch you.
Dudelike89 8
sweeetboy is a girl?
seenyou 3
lol exactly what I thought . she's cute tho :)
sweetheartslim 0
it's so cool that you're from singapore! I've always wanted to visit the far east! and you are the cutest thing ever!