Kids: You what now?

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 314

You deserved it 93 024

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By babybreath - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 388

You deserved it 10 351

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 149

You deserved it 13 665

By Embarressed... - 04/08/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 655

You deserved it 11 368

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 318

You deserved it 10 053

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 11:57 - United States - Howell

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 842

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 882

You deserved it 15 220

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 18 131

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 350

You deserved it 5 283

Some shade thrown

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 92

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 642

You deserved it 4 065

fb_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:23

Wow, who would even think of something like that with your 5-year-old relative, let alone say it out loud? That's right, FYL.

Melody_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:21

#5 she had just gotten there. dont parents normally wait till the baby sitter is there BEFORE they leave?

Comments

Seegtease 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 0:36

#13, I realize the humor in it. But humor has no value if nobody is there to hear it. Talking to yourself is not humor. The OP obviously thought nobody was around to hear her, so why did she speak to begin with?

dhales 3

Sunday 13 May 2012 9:52

You can entertain yourself I make myself laugh just as much as I make other people laugh its how I get through the day If you can't laugh at yourself and with yourself who's gonna laugh with you?

rachelroller 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 1:01

Wow.....that's an awkward moment I'd pay to see.

Meri_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 1:45

#49, well I sometimes do talk to myself. ^^ And I have an IQ of 129 and surely I'm not completely crazy. ;)

Curcolio_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:26

Wow, you're all so violent... That was just a joke. Shhh, I don't get americans sometimes... I wonder how i'll survive this *stage* in Stanford... :-( And I surely don't get Don... Are you amish ? oO No wait, you probably wouldn't have internet. And I don't know where you lived, but I can't think of one place besides the US where you could get legal trouble for stuff like that. What would have been gross : thinking that seriously, and not say it out loud. That he/she said it only meant there was no bad in his/her thoughts. (words between * are words in french, 'cause I don't know the english for)

nat66623 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:55

This makes you sound like a pedophile.

secret_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 3:09

um..ew at least he's your cousin! hopefully you explained to him that you were only joking around..

musicalmandi16 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 5:50

#13, "britain" is not a nationality

Seegtease 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 5:51

#53, no. I make remarks all the time, but only if at least one person is around. You could count the kid, but obviously it was not her intent for the kid to hear/get it. I know people do it, but I guess it's just silly to me. It's like laughing at your own jokes more than other people laugh at them.

blah_blah_shity 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 6:58

ewww thats ******* nas-taaaayyyy

jixan 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 7:06

i'm pretty sure that this poster was actually being this strange thing called "sarcastic" when expressing his delight at the prospect of being blown by a 5 year old, FYI