Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I could save up my used tampons for him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
Today, my uncle is staying with my family and he just gave me the weirdest 'gift' I've ever gotten. He gave me his used shaver. He said he realized that it's for women, but I find this disgusting. I could maybe sanitize it, but then I would have to touch the hairs on it. I had to pretend to be truly grateful for it. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was developing film at Walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking my sweatshirt off. A creepy old man approached me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML
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Top comments
Schnyduh 4
Awkward......
globalmeltdown 3
that's disgusting...
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Comments (131)
Schnyduh 4
Awkward......
Vash_41288 10
Well awkward seems a bit of an understatement..
Schnyduh 4
Haha, old men these days.........
deathmetalkill 3
Wait. So using dirty tampons in my garden isn't normal? Shit.
enonymous 9
Get red to go green. Proactive thinking. He can have mine... Although It's always brown and not red
Keyman1212 14
I think I have some crusty socks he can use too...
fthislyfe 22
Tell him you'd love to. Only if he pays for them.
YourEvilHero 12
that's bloody disguisting
krazy_glu3 0
How does he even know that it helps the garden grow.... Did he try it before? Who would even think to try that? Where did he get the previous bloody tampons to try it out, since it sounds like he doesn't have a gf. So many questions... Not sure if I want them answered
dre_bro11 12
67, unfortunately, they probably won't get answered. It's very rare that we see an OP comment on their FML, although, when they do, it's such a memorable moment.
SteelCladAngel 0
67, a simple Internet search using the words 'what natural fertilizer' could bring that up. Some women who use cloth pads or menstrual cups use the water from soaking pads to water their houseplants or gardens, and dump the blood from the cups into a bucket of water to keep it for their gardens
miz66independent 1
67-All blood works! he has probably buried plenty of little boys in his garden.
gojira666 7
Make him some vampire tea
KamisamaXI 6
Is it just me, or did anyone else get half a "cub" from reading this? JK JK but seriously that is nasty.
macanderson 2
and did u???.....oh do tell fair maiden
LaydiexSkull 3
...the hell is a cub? Are you talking about a baby bear? Or lion?
KamisamaXI 6
Half a cub as in half a boner. >.> lol
dre_bro11 12
138, ahh, see, the reason no one got what you said is because I think you're the only person to ever have referred to an erection as a cub. Good work.
go_articuno 0
Tyler Ennis as your picture! I love him! Let's go buffalo.
globalmeltdown 3
that's disgusting...
kickazz16 15
Awkward turtle. I'd tell him to politely leave, unless he was senile of course.
rarrar321 3
Yeah, gross. Who would wash some guy's hair?
JPChiQYaya 0
54 - Just shut up.
lolololer 8
i wonder how he found out that a womans monthly flow makes it grow...
chuckbednarik78 0
that's pretty damn creepy.
Javalounge 0
Tell him that Edward Cullen's got dibs on them ready.
christyxbee 15
And so is your icon :/
chuckbednarik78 0
I thought it was a pretty nice picture of me actually
howdmynosego 12
Just say u need it for you're garden
baseballplaya5 7
We did u?
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Y U NO USE GOOD GRAMMER????
RedPillSucks 33
Save the grammar for your mammar (*sigh... slinks away and hides*)
cgall123 0
That dude has mental problems... And your have to rub his head damn fyl
cgall123 0
You*
EnEl_Infierno 15
you* (lowercase) ;P
miserypoison 13
Comma after "head". FYL are initials which means they are in uppercase. Full stop at the end of your sentence.
juliushater 12
*F.Y.L. if we realy need nazi`s
yamatelle 19
All of you need to *really* stop trying to be *Grammar Nazis*. Do you not have a life? Sheesh!
bo1440 3
Eyes bees a's troln, pizn off grama nasis.
x_KL_x 7
#6 Well, I'm sure HE enjoyed it.
benderbot19 0
*** gremmar
iam_yummylicious 12
I like big fat juicy bratwursts :D
xcarxcrashx 9
I'm with 54 PLEASE STOP. One correction per comment is more than enough. You're never going to fix the Internet. Please stop trying.
kathuzada 6
Say no, use them for yourself.
julz1115 0
What creeper!! FYL OP....doesn't that make you wish you had called in sick or something like that today?
TheKeatonator 5
Yummy...
hockeygurl1234 0
youre nasty.
juliushater 12
i think i just vomitted twice in my mouth
RedPillSucks 33
You can use the vomit for fertilizer.
Lanceeden 12
Better yet, vomit on your used tampons. I heard it's better than miracle gro. Doesn't smell particularly nice, but your plants will love it.
ramboman19 8
Well....maybe there's business in this! Maybe you should partake in this OP!